The Ocean Between Us
by WritingVikingQueen
Summary: *First Book in Viking Series* Eachna is a young woman of seventeen who is captured by Vikings and soon becomes the wife of the chieftain's son. Will she somehow find her way home, or will she learn to love this strange yet captivating stranger?(Please read and review! I am hoping to someday publish this, so feedback is very much needed. Thank you!) Rated M for violence and sexualiy
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Sorry I've editing this story so much, but it's my baby and I like to keep making it better and better. :P Plus my life has been insane. I got expelled from school because they found out I slept with my boyfriend, and a few months after that, my boyfriend broke up with me. But, I am well and I have an amazing job at a daycare and life is good. Hope y'all are well! - Em**

Chapter One

Red and white striped sails cut through the early morning fog. The sun was just appearing over the horizon, the sky pink, orange, and blue. Below me I heard my fellow kinsman shrieking and screaming, probably running for shelter. As if a wooden hut could keep those hellions away. My heart clenched as I crouched in the ferns, peering out to see the carnage that was unfolding before me. My mother and sister knelt beside me, each of them holding onto one of my hands. My father laid flat on his belly in the grass. My thoughts turned to my brothers and my sister in law, my sweet little nephew, and my feisty niece.

The ships came closer still, the large men pulling the oars with vicious strength that sent fear through my entire being. My hair whipped around my face in the salty breeze, my legs trembling as I watched the men from my village ran to meet the Norse raiders, holding up swords and torches, ready to defend all that they held dear.

"We should be running," my sister Kalin murmured in my ear, shifting on her feet. "We will die if we stay."

"Hush, girl!" My father snapped and reached out to smack her arm. Kalin crouched lower, clenching her teeth as her golden eyes narrowed in anger.

I allowed my eyes to slide closed as the Norsemen launched themselves out of their ships and roared, the sound echoing through the glades. They were giant men, broad, tall, and strong, clad in furry cloaks and metal helmets, most of them swing axes through the air. The screams of terror and pain filled my ears, women and children crying as their husbands and fathers were brutally slaughtered. Tears pressed passed my closed lids and dripped down my face. I did not know what would become of me, whether I would be killed or taken captive. I would rather die than became their slave.

Though I was scared beyond what would seem possible, I couldn't make myself turn and run. It would be like running from a bear. It would only chase me down and kill me. I'd rather stand and face them with bravery. I was not a coward and I wouldn't act the part.

I watched as the men walked through my village, gathering all the silver and gold, food supplies and other things into a pile at the center of the village. The men came out of the houses with their arms full of their loot. Why did the Norsemen do this? Was it because they knew they were stronger than everyone else and exerted it for pleasure?

One particular man caught my attention. He seemed young, perhaps in his early twenties. Despite that, he was large and muscular. I watched as he grabbed young women, looked at them, and then tossed them aside.

A scream caught my attention and my gaze shifted away from the young man to another older man who had a woman pinned underneath him. I closed my eyes and trembled, trying to block out what I knew was going on in those streets.

When I opened my eyes again, the young man was gone.

"Maybe they are leaving," my sister murmured. I met her gaze, taking comfort in the familiar gold of her eyes and the way her soft brown hair curled around her face. Though she was older than me, I felt a strong urge to protect her. If I had to, I would die for her.

"I think they're gone," my mother said anxiously, starting to slowly rise from the ferns.

The screaming continued, and the roar of angry men. They were not leaving. I was just about to reach out to grab her wrist, but then I heard the crackle of footsteps in the ferns, loud voices shouting in a rough foreign language. They came closer and closer. An urge to run came over me, to scatter like frightened rabbits, but that would only get me and my family killed, so I repressed it.

My heart raced as I huddled against the rock, and my sister wrapped her arms around me. "I love you, little duck," she whispered in my ear, calling me by her special name for me. "Whatever happens now, I want you to remember that."

I nodded and cried into her shoulder, her words ripping at my heart. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the men in their metal helmets that covered everything except their eyes and jaws, their bodies wrapped in heavy cloaks. One of the men was the boy I'd watched down in the village. He spoke first.

"Stand. There is no need to hide now that we have found you. Do not try to run, it will cost you your life." His voice was clear, low. Though his Irish was muddled by a strange accent, I could easily understand him.

My family and I rose to our feet slowly. My whole body shook and I felt my sister's sweaty hand slip into mine. The ferns tickled my legs, and the absence of birdsong made shivers run up my spine.

The young man looked over me and my sister. He touched my sister's hair but his attention quickly turned to me. "You'll do nicely." His eyes met mine for the first time and I felt a heavy shiver of icy fear roll up my spine. They were blue as the ocean, but cold, unyielding.

My heart skipped at beat in fear and I stood still, unable to speak. Instead I stared past him, at the slope that led back down to the village. Should I try to run? I wanted to, but my feet felt like stones and I couldn't make them move.

"Don't run, maiden," he said in my tongue, recapturing my attention. He took a few steps toward me, slowly, like a cat hunting its prey. I shook my head and started to sob. "You will come with me, and I will make you my wife."

"Please, I can't go with you. Return to your homeland," I pleaded in a high voice, wanting nothing more than to stay with my family. A cold stone sat in my stomach.

"Easy now, lass. Come quietly and we will not hurt you," the other large man murmured, making no move to come closer to me. Instead he held his palms upward.

"You lie. If you take one more step toward me, I shall run," I snarled and glared at the hairy demon. They both laughed at me and my anger flared even more. A scream of anger rose out of my throat and I covered my head with my hands.

"Please do not take her," my mother pleaded with them, tears streaming down her face. "She's my little girl."

The two men glanced at each other. "She will not be harmed, milady."

My father stepped forward. There was a knife in his belt but he did not reach for it. "There are other women that would please you more than my daughter ever could. She is an innocent; you have no need for her."

The young man tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, a cocky smirk on his lips. "Yes well, that is not for you to decide. I want her." His eyes shifted to me and he looked me up and down. "Full lips, bright, feisty eyes. Round hips made for birthing sons."

His words made me sick in my stomach and I thought I would vomit.

The two men came toward me and I turned on my heel, running through the ferns into the thick woods. Their laughter followed me, and soon I heard them crashing after me.

Strange noises poured out of me, somewhere between words and screams, before tripping over a log and hurtling to the ground. Two huge rough hands reached down and lifted me to my feet while another wrapped rope around my wrists and ankles. I thrashed and twisted, "Let me go! You mindless brutes! You bastards!"

The older man threw me to the ground and I grunted as the air rushed out of my lungs. My head pounded, and I gulped to replace the air. The young man pinned me down as the older one bound me.

"What is your name, lass?" The younger one asked, his blue eyes visible through his helmet. A beard peeked out below the helmet as well.

"Eachna," I said, meeting his eyes. The ropes cut into my skin, and I breathed a sigh of relief when he got off me and pulled me to my feet, though he held the ends of the ropes which kept me from running again.

"I am Asvald," he stated before throwing me over his shoulder and climbing down the slope at top speed.

"Let me go! Unhand me, you beast!" I screamed and kicked at him and pounded my fists on his back. He only laughed at my attempts of gaining freedom, and said something to his companion in Norse that made him laugh as well. My face heated because I knew they were speaking of me but knew not what exactly.

My family rushed forward. Kalin, my sister, rushed forward toward the larger man, grabbing the front of his shirt. "Release my sister, you son of a bitch!"

The man drew his sword and pressed the tip to the side of my sister's neck. Asvald, the younger one who held me, set me on my feet and drew his sword, pressing it to my mother's neck. His eyes focused on me. "Come with me or they are both dead."

I looked to my father for help but he just stared at me with tears in his eyes.

Kalin cried as she looked at me pleadingly. My mother's face crumbled with terror.

Fury boiled inside me, giving me a newfound courage. "If you kill them, you will still take me. Spare their lives. I will go." My heart broke as the words left my mouth, but it was the truth. I did not have a choice.

The men smiled and lowered their swords, my mother and sister relaxing as they touched their throats. Their eyes landed on me and I lowered my head to fight the tears, knowing my fate. I would never see them again. I would become a wife to this Norseman, and that would be my life. My breath came in gasps as that realization hit me.

Asvald grabbed my arm and started to pull me away. I screamed and held out my arms to my mother. She rushed forward and clung to me, trying to pull me out of the young man's grasp.

"Let her go!" Asvald roared and pushed my mother away from me. "She is no longer yours!"

I sobbed and sunk to the ground, all the strength leaving my body. How could I leave them? How could I bid them farewell without knowing any of our futures?

"Let me say goodbye," I panted and lifted my eyes to Asvald's blue ones. "Please."

His gaze softened and he motioned me to go to my family. First I embraced my cowardly father. He held me tightly and wept in my hair. After a few moments, I moved out of his arms and into the arms of my sister.

Her familiar scent sent tears streaming from my eyes as she rocked me gently. "Be brave, little duck. We will always be together, you and I. No matter how far you are."

I couldn't take any more. I embraced my mother and kissed her wet cheek. "You are my strong girl. A survivor," she whispered in my ear. "I know you will overcome this."

Nodding, I squeezed her one last time and turned to Asvald, glaring at him through my tears.

His hand wrapped surprisingly gently around my arm as he led me down the slope and through the village.

Bodies of dead men lay in the streets, their blood flowing over the cobblestones. I felt like I would lose the contents of my stomach but I willed myself not to.

Soon we reached the long boats and I was set on a bench and quickly tied to the mast.

"May you all rot in hell," I growled under my breath and looked toward my home for what would most likely be the last time.

The men shoved the boat into the cold water and my chin rested on my chest as tears flowed down my face. I would never give up on trying to get back here.

When Ireland was far behind us, my tears ceased and I looked around the ship to see who else from my home was taken. A young woman named Mary, and a few other girls I knew, along with several young children. Such a shame. Some of the children I recognized and it was heartbreaking to know that their mothers were left behind.

{}

The night was painful, as my back ached from not being able to move or stretch, the ropes were soaked with salt water and were rubbing against my wrists and ankles. I cried through the night, and even when I did fall asleep, I cried in my sleep.

The next morning I woke up warmed by the sun, and my heart felt like a rock in my chest. My stomach turned from the tossing ocean, and cramped from being empty.

The large man came and sat on the bench beside me. I turned my face from him, too angry to look into his face.

"I brought you food," he said in my language and held up a piece of bread to my lips. I shook my head.

"I do not wish to eat. I am sick," I murmured, resting my head on the mast which I was tied to.

"You need strength," he said and grabbed my jaw, forcing my mouth open. I allowed him to place the food in my mouth, but I hadn't had water so my mouth was too dry to chew the thick bread and I gagged on it before spitting it out. My stomach clenched and I heaved though nothing came out. The man lifted a horn of water to my lips and I took a few slow sips, and again he offered me bread. This time I was able to swallow it down, easing the pain in my gut.

"You are blessed. The sickness of the sea has no hold on you," he said and I met his gaze, for his eyes were kind and he was gentle with his words. Without his helmet, I could see that he was an older man, with a grey beard and a wrinkled tan face from being exposed to the weather after many years. By the way the other men seemed to obey and respect him, I guessed him to be their leader and the father of the young man who claimed me for his wife.

"What is to become of me?" I asked; fear making my heart race as I thought of some things I might be forced to do.

The man smiled and I remembered his name was Bork. "I am the chieftain. You will have the great honor of being wife for my son."

My heart sunk and I forced back tears. "No, please. I must go home to my family. I love them and they need me. Please," I begged, hot tears running down my face. His reached up and with rough fingers, he wiped away my sorrow

"My son is kind. He will treat you well," he said confidently but his words did nothing to soothe the pain in my heart. I did not wish to marry a Norsemen. Too tired to speak anymore, I closed my eyes and slumped forward.

I slept through the rest of the day, not having the will nor the energy to do much else. There was nothing else I could do.

{}

More days passed, but I could not keep track of how many.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the faces of my loved ones. My nephew laughing and holding out his chubby arms to me, my sister blowing me a kiss. The images tortured me and taunted me.

The waves sloshed over the side of the ship and soaked me in chilly salt water. I gasped and shifted, searching for even the smallest measure of comfort.

Asvald came toward me and I watched him through blurry eyes. He had long blond hair and a short, well-kept beard, and piercingly blue eyes.

He stood before me and lifted my chin with his finger. I was too weak to resist. "Do you know what your duties will be?"

I scoffed and turned aside my head. "I am not your wife, you worm." My voice cracked.

He ignored my response. "You will warm my bed, which will be your most important duty. Second, you will help my mother run the household. Third, you will bear my children."

Tears of rage arose. "I will not! Kill me, please. Be merciful and just kill me," I muttered and lowered my head. Death would be better than what I was about to face.

"No," he simply said and touched the ropes that bound my hands. Blood caked them from where they bit into my tender skin. "I suggest that you submit to me."

With that, he turned and returned to the bow of the ship. I lowered my head and cried softly.

{}

The next morning we approached what must have been the Norsemen's home, for they all became excited and looked eagerly toward the land, smiles lighting up their faces.

"Glad you all are so joyful while we captives mourn the loss of our families," I hissed under my breath. Only Bork heard me and gave me a reproving look before heading toward me. I glared at him, caring not what he would do to me.

"You must learn to tame your tongue or my son shall tame it for you," he told me sternly.  
I snorted but said nothing. No man would tame my tongue.

A short time later we reached the shore and were greeted by the Norsemen's families. I was untied from the mast and was able to stand for the first time in several days and nights. My muscles ached and the skin of my wrists were raw and bleeding, the saltwater stinking the wounds.

"May hellfire swallow you beasts as soon as you are laid in your graves," I cursed under my breath as I was lifted from the boat and onto the stony shore.

Asvald jumped out of the ship and slung me over his shoulder and carried me toward his village.

"I will not go willingly!" I screamed and kicked at him. "You son of a bitch! You took me from my home, my family! I hate you!" I started to sob and ceased fighting him. I felt him chuckle and I cried harder.

He ducked into a sod covered house and placed me on the floor before turning and leaving. I sat in shock for a moment, my bottom hurting from where he threw me down. A middle aged woman approached me, a sad smile on her face.

"Asvald is not cruel, my child. You will be treated well," she said, sitting beside me.

"Are you his mother?" I asked, grateful that we could communicate. She nodded and smiled.

"We are not a harsh as you believe us to be," she said softly, meeting my eyes.

Tears filled my eyes. "I care not. You took me from my family and that alone proves you to be cruel."

She reached out and took my hand. "I am sorry that my husband wanted to give our son a woman from distant shores. But you have a much kinder fate than the other women who were captured with you. They will be thralls or slaves as you would call them. They will be used by men. My son will treat you as his queen."

My whole body trembled as I thought of being in Asvald's arms tonight. "I cannot marry him. I cannot."

"Hush now," his mother scolded gently before moving to the hearth in the middle of the room and scooped out some stew for me to eat. She stroked my hair while I chocked down the food, knowing I would need the strength it gave me.  
When I was finished, she helped me to my feet and said that we were going to a river where I could wash myself. She brought with her a thick dress and what looked like a fur coat. I walked beside her in silence, my heart heavy and filled with sadness and pain.

"You will learn to love him," she broke the silence. "Once you see what a kind man he is."

I kept silent, not wanting to say anything that might hurt her feelings. She had only been kind to me. She was not the one who stole me from my home.

Birdsong filled the air along with the sound of wind in the trees, sounds that would usually bring joy to my heart. Now they only brought more tears.

"Stop this weeping. It is making your eyes red and puffy. You must be beautiful for my son tonight," she scolded again and I sniffed back my sorrows. Crying would do nothing to change my circumstances.

"My name is Groa," she said and smiled at me.

"I am Eachna," I said and smiled back.

We came to a clearing covered with lush grass and ferns, and a clear stream ran through it. Once we reached its edge, Asvald's mother said,

"Remove your dress."

I frowned but stripped down and stepped into the cold water with a gasp. Sinking into the water, I smiled for the first time in two days, enjoying the feeling of the dirt, sweat, tears, and blood washing from my body. Asvald's mother tossed me a bar of soap and a rag before laying out my new dress on a stone and went to a nearby tree, which she sat under and closed her eyes.

I soaped up my hair and scrubbed out the dirt and salt, and ducked under the water to rinse it away. I came up giggling and even splashed some. I needed this. My heart needed to find joy in even the smallest thing.

Once I was completely clean, I rose from the chilly water and slipped into the dress and pulled the fur over my shoulders. Asvald's mother rose from her place under the tree and returned to my side.

"You look much prettier now, my daughter. Come, I must prepare for the feast."

Groa wouldn't allow me to help her and made me go sleep in Asvald's bed in his section of the sod house. Though I tried to resist the sleepiness that made my eyelids heavy, I finally did drop into blissful darkness.

I awoke to someone banging open the wooden door and sat up to see who entered. It was Asvald.

"Oh it's you," I said in a small voice, though I was trying to sound brave. My heart pounded and my stomach twisted. "You're one ugly beast, and I'll bet you are a coward. If you weren't, you would have come to capture me yourself. Didn't have the gall, did you?"

His eyes narrowed. "That is not how you will speak to me. I would prefer not to beat you, as you are a young woman with easily stirred passions. But you must learn to respect me."

"Respect cannot be learned, it must be earned," I hissed and glared at him. As he came closer, I saw that his hair was wet and his skin was clean and smooth. He had bathed for me. I shook my head, and insulted him again. "You smell like a skunk. Or better yet, a dead skunk that's been in the sun for days."

His eyes twinkled and he sat on the bed. "Is that the best you can do, feisty one?"

I scooted away from him, still glaring. "Keep your hands off me, you Norseman swine."

"Hush," he said sharply. My eyes fell to the furs that covered the wooden bed, my cheeks hot as I waited for him to strike me. Instead he took my chin in his hand and made me look at him.

"I will demand respect from my wife. I suggest you practice this now so you will not suffer punishment after we are wed," he said firmly.

"How could I respect you?" I asked, angry tears filling my eyes and I blinked them rapidly away. "You stole me from my home and my loved ones. I cannot respect a man who would willingly do that to me."

Compassion softened his features and he released my chin so he could stroke my cheek, wiping away my tears. "I am sorry your heart is sore. It will heal, I promise."

I forced my gaze away from his and his hand left my cheek.

"Our wedding ceremony will begin soon. Come," he said and held out his hand to me.  
I lay back on the bed, determined not to move from this spot.

"Get off the bed, woman," he said in a warning tone of voice. I remained still, though I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. "Now!"

I flinched but still didn't budge.

"Obey me," he growled and grabbed my arms, lifting me from the bed. Since I was given no choice, I stood up and glared at him.

"I will never obey you," I snarled, my chest heaving with anger.

He smirked before grabbing my wrist and pulling me back into the main area of the house. The house was now filled with Asvald's family, who all cheered when they saw us. Asvald greeted them all and spoke to them in Norse.

He gently pulled me to his side and continued to speak in Norse. I squirmed uncomfortably and looked into each of the unfamiliar faces of the room.

After Asvald finished speaking, a beautiful sword was placed in his hands. He locked eyes with me and for a moment I feared what he was going to do with that sword.

"This is my family sword," he spoke quietly but firmly in my language. "You will keep this and we shall pass it down to our sons. Next I give you a ring." His gaze hardened and his voice rose. "You will put that ring on your finger and it will stay there. Do you understand me?"

My body trembled as I stared back at him, my eyes stinging with unshed tears of hate. I had never felt so aggrieved in my life.

Asvald drew a golden ring made of thin stands wrapped in two circles. In between the two stands was what looked like a hammer. He grabbed my hand and forced the ring onto my finger. All the while I glared at him.

Then he opened my palm and placed a plan steel ring in my palm. He held out his hand and cocked an eyebrow.

"I hate you," I whispered with spite as I pushed the ring roughly onto his finger.

He just smirked and took his family sword in his hand. Taking my hand, he placed it on the hilt of the sword on top of his. "Now it is time for our vows."

Clearing his throat, he began to speak in Norse, though his eyes stayed locked on mine.

My heart continued to pound, but hearing those words spoken in a different language in such a deep tone seemed to set me in a trance. I stared at Asvald's face. He was not unattractive. In fact, I'd never dreamed of having such a handsome man for a husband. His chest was broad and thick, muscular. I could tell under his shirt that his stomach would be toned, his legs strong and powerful. I imagined his mighty back. While all those traits could attract me to him, his large build and muscular body could hurt me, and hurt me badly.

He finished his vows and nodded to me.

I opened my mouth. "I am not your wife and I never will be." I narrowed my eyes. He would never make me submit. I was a force a sheer will.

He growled, his blue eyes piercing, making me feel small. "Promise to be faithful and obedient, or I will make our wedding night hell for you."

His threat and raised voice made my heart thump wildly against my breast but I would not cry in front of all those people. "I...promise to remain faithful and...obedient to you." I spit out the last words as if they tasted bad. My world was crumbling and I was starting to feel like I didn't want to live anymore.

Asvald smiled and caressed my cheek. "I do not want to cause you pain, wife. We can have a good life together."

I smacked his hand away and scowled. "I do not want a life with you. You took my life away from me the moment we left Ireland's shores."

His hand slid to the back of my neck and curled around it. My father used to hold me like that and would squeeze until red lined my vision. Screaming, I jerked out of his grasp and covered the back of my neck with my hands.

Asvald looked at me with concern. "Did I hurt you? That was not my intention, I simply wanted to kiss you."

Panting, I tried to calm myself down and lowered my hands. "Why do you care? And no, you shall not have a kiss from me."

He shrugged. "There will be time for that later." He turned back to the people that filled the longhouse and shouted something in Norse. Everyone cheered, the noise deafening.

Asvald pulled me to a table and sat down, bringing me down into his lap. "Now the feasting begins!"

I squealed and tried to wriggle away, but he grasped my hips and made me stay. My jaw clenched and I resisted the urge to strike him for his rude, uncouth behavior.

"You are completely piggish and disgusting," I whispered in his ear but he only laughed at me. Since being mean to my husband would not fix anything, I decided to think about the things that I cared for or would soon care for about him. I was grateful that he seemed to be only a few years older than me and was rather good looking as well. I was grateful that he had not yet struck me and seemed gentle enough.

"You are a beauty, Eachna," he murmured, his hand sliding up the outside of my thigh. I groaned in disgust and pushed his wrist away from me.

"Please, if you wish to touch me, do it when we are not in front of your family," I whispered, praying that he would listen to me. His blue eyes met mine and he seemed to study me.

"If that pleases you, wife," he said with a nod and a smile. "Though you will shall have to get accustomed to doing such things in front of others." He chuckled darkly but I ignored him because I didn't know what he was talking about. Instead, I tensely reached out to touch his golden hair, letting the strands slip through my fingers.

"Thank you," I whispered, tears choking me because I didn't want to be nice to this barbarian, but I also wanted to do what was best for my future.

"Drink," he commanded and lifted a cup to my lips. I took a sip of the sweet liquid and enjoyed how it seemed to warm me to the bone. "Tell me about your family. The ones that were on the cliff with you." he said.

I played with a tassel on my dress as I told him the names of my family members.

"I am sorry you lost them," he said like he wasn't the one who had taken them from me. My anger rekindled and I fought to keep it back.

The night passed quicker than I wanted it to, with Asvald feeding me honeyed pears and more of that sweet drink. The guests became drunk and started fornicating with one another while I tried to shield myself from it as much as possible.

As the night wore on, my head became dizzy from the drink Asvald kept giving me and I started to refuse it. It would not be wise to become drunk at a time like this.

Finally Asvald stood and again spoke in his own language. The people cheered and Asvald's mother, Groa, came forward and took my hand.

"What is happening now?" I asked nervously as she led me into Asvald's room, finally away from the crowd.

"It's your wedding night," Groa murmured and started undoing the laces of my dress.

"No!" I jumped away from her and held up my hands. "No, no, no, no," I said and shook my head. My stomach twisted heavily and I rushed to a pot in the corner of the room, which I heaved into, losing all I ate at the feast.

"Calm down, Eachna," Groa said softly and rubbed my back. "Everything will be fine. If you don't resist him in bed, he will be ever so gently with you. Trust me."

I trembled and sobbed, but nodded, seeing no way out of my situation. Tears coated my cheeks, neck, and chest as she stripped me down and pulled a thin nightdress over my head. She settled me into the bed, where I laid shaking, propped up by pillows. My hair was loose around my shoulders.

Groa placed a golden crown with gems on top of my head. "Asvald will remove this and then will get into bed with you."

I lowered my eyes and sighed, willing myself to go numb and just accept what was coming.

Groa sat on the bed beside me and covered my hand with hers. I lifted my eyes.

She smiled gently, her round face soft and motherly. Her voice soothed me. "I know we've only just met, but I will help you in any way I can. I was in your same place once, a long time ago. I was captured from England and brought here to marry Asvald's father. Since Asvald is eager to get in here with you, I will tell you more of the story another time." She paused and squeezed my hand. "Are there any questions you would like to ask me about lovemaking?"

I closed my eyes and groaned deep in my throat. Of course, there were many unknown things about lovemaking to me, but I would not ask Groa about it. I'd never seen a naked man. I knew that his groin must fit into mine, but that was the extent of my knowledge.

Opening my eyes, I looked a Groa with a tear-filled gaze.

Her face filled with compassion and she leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "It will not hurt if you relax. I suggest that you greet him with a kiss, lie back, close your eyes, and open your legs."

I blushed and a few tears spilled down my face. Taking a shuddering breath, I twisted the blanket in my fist.

"Someday you will learn to enjoy it," Groa said and went to the door. "I will fetch Asvald and the witnesses."

My eyes widened. "What witnesses?"

"There will be a small group of people in the room with you while Asvald takes your maidenhead. It is to insure that he did indeed take your virginity."

I felt sick again and my head ached. But I didn't have the energy to care any longer. "This is why the Irish and the English call you and your people savages," I growled at Groa, glaring at her.

She just smiled sadly and shook her head. "I am sorry, Eachna. May God be with you."

She slipped out of the room and I was alone for the first time all night. The first thing I did was search the room for an escape. There was a chest with a pitcher and bowl atop it, a bench before a small hearth, and the bed. Nothing else, no windows. And the door only led to the rest of the longhouse. There was no escape.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The door burst open and I jumped, startled by the noise. Asvald entered, along with a small group of people, three men and two women. They looked at me with curious eyes, but they almost seemed bored, like they'd done this many times before and it didn't concern them. They each held a small candle, casting a soft glow around the room.

I turned my attention to Asvald. He looked at me with heated eyes and he stripped out of his clothes.

Embarrassed and afraid, I looked away and sucked in deep lungfuls of air.

He sat beside me on the bed and I flinched, ready to plead with him. Anything to get out of this. He lifted the crown from my head and slid beneath the blanket with me.

"Please," I whimpered and sobbed, pressing my palms to my eyes. "I cannot do this, please. Don't hurt me, let me go home," I wept.

"Shh," he hushed me and pulled my hands away from my eyes, making me look at him. "Consent to me and I will show you the tender loving of a man. But I am warning you, do not provoke my temper, lest this be a very long night indeed."

I had a temper of my own, but it was not enough to fight him. I glanced at the door, which was blocked by the witnesses. I would not be leaving this room. He could easily force me in moments. I could not fight him on this.

"Remember, you said your vows and my ring is on your finger. I am your husband now, whether you like it or not," he murmured and touched my arm.

"I am never going to sleep with you," I growled and hopped out of bed. Asvald grabbed my arm but I twisted it away from him and broke through the witnesses, though they all tried to grab me. The guests were too drunk to notice me as I ran out of the longhouse. Deciding to turn right, I raced down the dirt path, not knowing where I was going. But I didn't care, as long as it was far away from Asvald.

I heard his pounding feet behind me, catching up. Gasping for breath, I pushed myself to run faster.

The sounds of the ocean met my ears as my heart sank and I realized my mistake. In my panic, I had run myself right into the ocean.

Completely out of breath, I collapsed on the sand and waited for Asvald to come get me.

"It's over," I whispered to myself. "It's all over."

Then Asvald's face was above me, pale in the moonlight. He chuckled. "Where did you think you were going to go?"

I just panted and stared at him, surprised that he wasn't angry.

Instead he took my arm and pulled me to my feet. He shrugged. "I understand. This is all new to you, and you're scared. I suppose I cannot expect you to behave perfectly. And I understand that you do not want to lose your virginity in front of five people."

My eyes widened at his sensitivity. Was it sincere?

His eyes twinkled. "I have a plan to fool the witnesses." He pulled a small dagger from a pocket in the cloak he had covered himself with. "First I will place my cock between your thighs and thrust." He paused. "I will hide us both under the blankets but they must see the movement of my hips."

I blushed and looked down at the ground. "Go on."

"You will make a pained face and noise when I begin thrusting. When I am through, I will use this dagger to prick myself. I will smear the blood on the blanket underneath you to look like your virgin blood." He looked smug and pleased with himself.

For the first time that night, I smiled. "I like you plan. Shall we return?"

Nodding, he turned and we walked quietly side by side back to the longhouse together. The witnesses were waiting for us in the bedroom.

I laid down on the bed and Asvald followed me, leaving on his cloak until we were both under the blanket. He hid the dagger and removed the cloak tossing it away. He placed his hands under my knees and lifted them up, so my thighs were raised and close together.

Moving up closer to me, he ducked his head between my legs and laved his tongue along the inside of my thighs, making it moist. I gasped and cried out at the sensations it sent through my body. Embarrassed, I covered my mouth and closed my eyes.

Asvald raised his head. "It's alright, maiden. Feels good, does it not?"

I didn't answer him but kept my eyes on his as he placed his manhood between my thighs. Giving a little nod, he began to thrust.

Crumbling up my face in mock pain, I whimpered and allowed a tear to roll down my cheek.

Asvald grunted as he held my thighs together and thrust hard, like an animal. I stared at him with wide eyes, imagining what it would be like if he was moving like that inside me. It frightened me.

He reached out with one hand and tugged my nightdress down one shoulder and pulled one of my breasts free. He covered it with his hand and groaned, pumping harder.

I stayed still, eager for him to finish. I didn't like what was happening, but it was sweet of him to come up with a plan to avoid what I was uncomfortable with.

Finally, his head fell back and his jaw went slack. He covered his manhood with his hand and caught his seed in his palm, letting out several loud cries. Panting, he took his seed and rubbed it between my legs. I scrunched up my face in disgust but didn't say anything.

Then he quickly cut his finger with the dagger and smeared it on the blanket. Throwing back the blanket, he gestured for the witnesses to step forward and look. They all did, nodded and smiled, calling out words in Norse before finally leaving the room.

My heart was racing as everything that just happened sunk in. Asvald rolled onto his back and tucked his arm under his head. His breathing slowed and his eyes closed.

"Why did you do that?" I asked softly. My thighs felt sticky and disgusting.

He sighed and cleared his throat. "Does it matter?"

As I calmed down, I realized that I was still a little hazy from the drink Asvald had given me during the feast. "It matters to me."

"Like I said, no woman wants her virginity taken in front of five people. You may consider me a brute but I want that moment to happen between only us. I do not like every Norse tradition, Eachna." He glanced at me and smiled a little. His eyes were gentle.

"Thank you," I whispered and closed my eyes, trying to relax and sleep. "It is cold."

Asvald reached out and brought me closer to him. I stiffened against his body and stared at him, searching his eyes.

"Relax," he commanded, his voice low and rough. "I have already satisfied myself. My body is tired. We can use each other's warmth."

Too tired for any more resisting, I accepted his body heat and my muscles relaxed.

"Eachna?" Asvald spoke, breaking the blessed silence.

"Hm?" I responded without opening my eyes.

"Tonight I spared you. But I will be expecting you to lie with me as my wife in the future."

I opened my eyes and saw the seriousness in his face. I knew that just because he didn't force me tonight, didn't mean he wouldn't force me tomorrow. So his words didn't surprise me. I considered telling him that I would never be his wife and I would never submit. But that would cause another fight, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I didn't respond and closed my eyes again, needing rest. After a long journey in the ship and such an eventful day, I quickly fell asleep.

I awoke to find Asvald still in bed with me, his lips parted as he breathed in his sleep.

My eyes flittered to the door and slowly, I swung my legs over and jumped out of the bed. Hurrying towards it, I tried to move silently. Just as my hand touched the latch, I heard, "Where are you going?"

I groaned and turned around slowly. "I have to relieve myself."

Asvald sat up in bed, reminding me that he was nude. "You can wait. Come back here."

"Commanding, are we?" I grumbled to myself but obeyed, despite my desire to fight him in every way possible.

Asvald threw back the blankets, patting the bed. He cocked an eyebrow. I slid in next to him and folded my hands in my lap. My eyes wandered the room for an escape and landed on the family sword leaning in the corner. Before Asvald could follow my gaze, I looked straight at him.

He stared back, neither of us moving. Then I threw back the blankets and dashed to the sword, swinging it out in front of me as Asvald approached, naked.

"Put it down," he said and held up his hands. "There is no need for violence."

I trembled and I had to use both hands on the hilt of the sword to hold it up. "Let me go."

He threw up his hands and groaning, looking upward. "Let you go where?"

I lifted the sword and pressed the tip into his chest. "Take me home," I growled and narrowed my eyes.

His eyes lost the gentleness I saw earlier and turned cold. He knocked the blade aside with his arm and before I could lift it again, he grabbed my wrist and squeezed, till I cried out and dropped the sword.

He kicked the sword away, his arm bleeding from where he pushed away the blade. Still holding my wrist, he twisted it behind my back and slammed me into the wall.

Tears gathered in my eyes as pain crashed through my body. His hips pinned me to the wall and his bright blue eyes sharp with anger. "What was that, _kone_? Would you kill me?"

My chest rose and fell quickly as I stared at him. His size intimidated me and I felt tiny being next to him. Fear coursed through me, my heart pounding against my breastbone. "I do not believe in killing people. Unlike you," I spat and pushed against his chest. He didn't move at all, solid as a wall.

He smirked and released me, stepping away. "You're a brave little thing. Quite a sharp tongue, yet I can see terror in your eyes."

I blushed and lowered my gaze. I was always told that my emotions always showed on my face.

Surprisingly, he gently touched my cheek and spoke softly. "No need for terror. But I cannot tolerate such behavior from my wife. You must learn to obey."

I gritted my teeth and looked away. "No, thank you." I brought my gaze back to him and smiled sarcastically. "I would rather stay stubborn."

"It will cost you dearly," he said roughly, his eyes piercing into mine.

I returned his stare and felt my courage returning. "I already have. There is nothing left for me to lose."

He cocked his head to the side. "I can take your life from you."

I raised my hands in surrender and felt tears of anger prick my eyes. "Go ahead, this is not a life. If you want it, take it. I have no further need of my life, if that is want you want to call this hell." Shaking my head, I went to the door and put my hand on the latch. Asvald did nothing to stop me so I continued out the door and out of the longhouse, into the dull sunshine outside.

Clouds misted the sky and as I glanced up at the gray expanse, I felt as if I was staring at my own soul.

Folding my arms over my chest, I took in the sight of the surrounding village. The land was not as green as Ireland and all color seemed pale and worn. Mountains rose high and steep all around us. I'd never seen mountains so close to the coast before. Trees were sprinkled about, and some grew in thick patches toward the base of the mountains.

The village was a scattered array of longhouses and small farms, with dirt paths winding through it. The wind blew in off the ocean, making the air damp and salty.

Leaning my back against the wall of the longhouse, I closed my eyes and tried to control the whirlwind of emotions inside of me. A scream was building up inside of me that needed to come out, but I suppressed it.

My thoughts turned to last night and I felt shame as I remembered the feeling of Asvald's thrusting between my thighs, the friction on my skin. I blushed as I thought of his hot seed and how he touched me when placing it on my womanhood.

"Enough of that," I scolded myself and shook my head. There were more important things to think of. Such as how much I longed for my family and how I could escape and return to them.

Asvald stepped out of the longhouse and glanced around for a moment before he noticed me.

I groaned and folded my arms over my chest. A moment's peace was all I wanted yet he refused to give me any room to breathe.

He came and leaned with me, our arms close enough to touch. "This is a beautiful village, isn't it?"

"It is the same as any other," I snapped and shifted away from him. His nearness had a strange effect on me that I refused to acknowledge.

"You will learn to love it and it will become your home." His tone was gentle but regardless of his words, I did not trust him. He was as unpredictable as fire. One moment it is just a spark, then a small flame, then a raging wildfire. Finally it burns out as quickly as it started.

"Ireland is my home. We are speaking in the Irish tongue, not your tongue. I am Irish and will stay Irish for the rest of my days. I may wear your clothes and eat your food and live in your houses but I will never be one of you," I growled and glared up at him.

He smirked down at me, in an irritating way. "You are so feisty. I cannot wait to tame you."

I huffed and glanced away, trying to disguise the fear I felt suddenly pumping through my veins. I hated myself for fearing this man who ripped me from my family. I didn't want to be afraid, I wanted to fight. But how could I fight such a powerful man? I wouldn't stand a chance against him. "You are a Norseman pig," I hissed, figuring I could fight back with my words, even if that was the only thing I could do.

"And you are a spoiled Irish lass who thinks only of herself," he said calmly and glanced down at me with a raised eyebrow.

I whirled on him and poked my finger in his chest. My body flushed hot. "How dare you call me selfish after I gave up my freedom, my life, for the sake of my family? You are an ignorant fool."

He turned so he stood in front of me and folded his arms over his chest, his gaze no longer gentle. The fire in him was once again beginning to blaze. "Perhaps, but I am still your husband." he grasped my hand and held it up and pointed to the ring on my finger. "Do you understand what that means?"

I snatched my hand away and reached out to smack him across the face. He caught my wrist and squeezed till it hurt. But he quickly released me.

"I did not mean a word I said last night, Asvald," I said softly and tried not to glare at him. Perhaps we could be civil.

He shrugged and glanced away. "It matters not. What does matter is that you said it and you cannot take it back now."

We remained silent for a while, before finally he said, "I have work to attend to." He turned and started to walk away. "Tonight I will bed you. Talk to my mother if you wish for advice on how to please a man."

I gasped. His bold and crude language shocked me. He heard my gasp and laughed with his head thrown back until he was out of sight.

"Eachna!" Asvald's mother called from inside the longhouse and I jumped, startled.

I went inside and blinked as my eyes adjusted to the dim light inside the house. Groa smiled at me and tossed her braid over her shoulder as she leaned down to lift a basket full of clothes. "Care to give me a hand with the washing? I have to stay and attend to the little ones, but could you do this for me?"

Sighing, I nodded and took the basket from her hands. "You trust me to go to the river on my own and not run away?"

Groa met my eyes and placed a cake of on top of the clothes. "Yes, I do. I expect that if I give you freedom, you will be inclined to respect my trust in you."

Groa hadn't done anything to hurt me and I figured that for now, I wouldn't try to run away. Not today, at least. I needed more time to form a plan and prepare.

As I strolled down the dirt path, I glanced around at the trees and the steep mountains rising in front of me. How could I possibly escape through those mountains? I would die. The only other way to Ireland would be by ship, but that was impossible as well. All I could do was pray that someday I would be returned to my family.

I reached the river and knelt on the grassy bank, setting the basket down beside me. The water rushed by and the sound calmed me, along with the sweet birdsong from the trees.

"How did I get here?" I whispered to myself and felt sorrow seep into my chest, settling there like a rock. Tears began to course down my face as I pulled a shirt from the basket and began to scrub in on a rock in the water, using the bar of soap that reminded me of the scent of Asvald's skin. It haunted me, mocked me even.

It took a long while to finish scrubbing every garment, but I was grateful for the task, since it gave me time to think and it seemed to comfort me in some strange way.

I spread the garments out on the grass to dry and finally sprawled out myself. Gray clouds still covered the sky, and soon my eyes lost interest and drift closed.

When I awoke, most of the day had passed. My journey here had stolen my strength.

No one had come looking for me, so I took my time gathering the clothes and placing them back inside the basket.

As I approached the longhouse, the scent of roasting meat met my nose and I inhaled deeply, realizing how hungry I was after not eating all day.

When I stepped inside, I saw Groa standing by the fire, turning the spit where a hunk of meat cooked. She glanced up at me quickly before returning her attention to her work. "Just set it down and come help me with the meal."

I did as she said and took some dough she was kneading for dinner. As Groa and I worked together, she told me all about her children, and their ages and their names. Asvald had two sisters named Halla and Inga, who were fifteen and eight, and four brothers. Ragi was sixteen, Sibbi was ten, Thord was five, and Ulf was two. As I met each member of Asvald's family, I felt the lonely pain in my heart ease a little.

But when the meal was nearly complete, Asvald and his father Bork came through the doorway. Asvald's sister brought them a bowl of water to wash their hands and face in, and they did so while laughing and talking loudly in their own language. Groa left her work for a moment and went to her husband, turning her face up to him. He lowered his lips to hers and they shared a passionate kiss.

I blushed and glanced away. My parents had never kissed like that, at least not in front of me. The Norsemen were a bold and honest people. It would take some time for me to adjust to that.

My eyes met Asvald's and he motioned for me to come to him. I hope he didn't expect me to greet him that way.

I shook my head at him and folded my arms over my chest, sitting down on a bench by the fire.

His mouth set in a firm line, he stroke to me and grasped my chin, yanking it so my face was raised to his. He began to lower his head but I struggled away from him and leaned away. "I have never kissed a man before."

Asvald's eyes softened and he released my chin. "Well, that will have to change. But for now, you will keep your virgin lips." He stared down at me as I stayed silent, and then he turned toward his mother. "She will help you serve the meal."

I didn't mind obeying that command.

They spoke in their own language as they enjoyed their meal, and I ate and listened quietly. Asvald had two sisters and four brothers, and I sat amazed as the family shared this time together.

I had two older brothers that left the house to marry when I was still young, and with a sister a year older than me, I was used to a bit more quiet.

We finished our food and still they talked. Though I couldn't understand them, it seemed as if Bork and Groa were telling a story together for the younger children. Sibbi, Thord, Inga and Ulf all giggled, while Ragi, Halla, and Asvald watched with smiles.

It amazed how a family could show such love for each other, then turn around and destroy other families.

When they finished their story, Bork wrestled with Sibbi and Thord as Groa, Asvald's sisters and I cleaned up after the meal.

Asvald played with Ulf, his face tender as he tickled the little boy and tossed him in the air. For the second time since arriving in this strange land, I felt my heart soften toward him.

The mess cleaned up, Groa went to her loom and sat with Inga, showing her the workings of weaving. Halla joined Asvald in playing with Ulf.

I soon realized I was the only one sitting by myself. Asvald looked up at me. "Come join us, _kone_." It was an invitation instead of an order.

Smiling, I knelt on the floor and held my arms out to Ulf. He giggled and sat in my lap, clutching a wooden toy in his chubby hands. He held it up for me to see and his bright blue eyes went wide as he said a word in Norse.

I nodded and gently took the toy from him, moving it as if the horse was running along the little boy's leg. He giggled and snatched it back, running back into Asvald's arms.

Asvald buried his face in Ulf's neck and kissed him repeatedly, making the child squeal with laughter.

We played for a while longer, till finally Groa stood and spoke softly but firmly. Asvald and Bork stopped wrestling with the younger boys, and Halla helped Thord and Ulf wash their faces, the rest of his siblings changing onto their nightclothes.

It shocked me to see the family doing such personal things right in front of each other. Bork had caught Groa up in his arms and kissed her, his hands groping her backside.

Once again I flushed and glanced at the children. They didn't even seem to notice it as they got into their beds and turned their backs to their parents' bed.

Asvald and Halla tucked Thord and Ulf into their bed, then Halla changed and got into her own bed.

I stayed still, watching in astonishment as Bork lifted his wife's dress over her head. Groa's body was thick and amble after giving birth to seven children, yet Bork caressed her heavy backside like it was his greatest treasure. Groa sighed and they stood forehead to forehead, sharing the air between them. Bork whispered deeply to her, intimate words I was glad I couldn't hear. She clasped his wrists and brought his hands to her sagging breasts. He moaned and gently fondled them. It amazed me to see such loving and desiring touches between a husband and wife.

She returned such touches, her eyes shining in the firelight with love so strong it made me wish to be on its receiving end. He kissed her again and lay her down on the bed.

Asvald came to my side and touched my arm, nodding toward his bedroom door. I allowed him to steer me inside his room, still surprised from what I had just seen.

The door shut loudly behind me and the click of the lock brought me back from my startled daze. I could feel how red my face was. "The children do not mind?"

Asvald shrugged and walked a half circle around the room, so I had to turn to still stand facing him. He lifted his shirt over his head, preparing himself for bed. "They know what a man and wife do in their bed at night. It is nothing strange or embarrassing to them." He met my eyes. "Or to me."

I realized we were alone in his room, him being half naked and suddenly blocking my way to the door. "You truly are savages then. No sense of morality or decency."

Asvald went to a table that held a pitcher of water and a bowl with a cake of soap. He poured water into the bowl and washed his face. "There is much for you to learn, little _kone_."

I folded my arms over my chest and remembered how Asvald planning to take me to bed tonight. A fight was about to happen.

Asvald dried his face and came toward. "Do you like your new dress?"

I glanced down at my garment and shrugged. "It is just a dress."

"Yet you wear no underthings, isn't that true?" He smirked and continued toward me.

I moved away from him to my back hit the wall. Asvald pinned me in with his hands on either side of my head.

"It is true," I whispered, feeling like crying. I had never known a fear quite like this before in my life.

"Norse women do not wear underthings like you Irish do. How does that feel? Does it make you feel free...or exposed?" His eyes glittered with lust and my stomach twisted.

I covered my mouth with my hand and lowered my head. "I am going to get sick."

"No, you are not," he murmured, and his eyes traveled over me. "Your hair is so beautiful, like the bark of a tree."

If I wasn't so scared, I would have laughed at his strange compliment.

Taking some of my hair in his fist, he lifted it to his nose and inhaled.

I felt like I was going to be sick. "Please," I said, my voice weak. I felt like all my strength was draining away. "Don't. Not tonight, please." I met his eyes. "Please."

He smiled and tangled both hands into my hair. "My virgin does not know the pleasures of a man."

My whole body stiffened. "I am not _your_ virgin. Now remove your hands from me!"

His grip on my hair tightened and I tried not to show any pain. "You are mine, Eachna. All mine." He lowered his mouth to my neck and began to kiss me.

"Stop. I do not consent!" I cried and shoved against his chest. He released his hold on my hair, though his face hardened with anger.

"I am trying to be patient and gentle with you, but you are making it nearly impossible. Now if you don't shut your mouth and give in to me, I will take you by force, and it will not be pleasant for you," he threatened, his voice deadly calm.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glowered at him. "You do not frighten me. I swear I will find some way to run away from here and I'll be lost to you forever."

"Oh, but if you run, I knew exactly where you'll be, so I'll just steal you again," he said with a mocking smile. He had a point. If I were to return to my family, he would just hunt me down again. The pain of losing hope cut through me and I fought to keep from bursting into sobs.

"Can I not see them again? It was a short journey and I long for them so," I said, searching his face.

He shook his head. "No, you must never see them again. Your home is here and it is time that you learn that. Now strip of your gown so I might take you to bed."

Desperate for anyone to help me, I made a dash for the door and had it open a crack before Asvald pulled me back and kicked the door shut. I struggled against him and bit into the flesh of his arm. He growled and pushed me away, though he did not strike me.

"Maiden, it will be worse for you if you do not calm yourself."

I pressed my hand to my forehead, my head starting to ache along with my belly. "I do not feel well, Asvald."

"You are upsetting yourself. Stop, for I promise I will not hurt you," he said softly and pulled me close against him. His body was warm and inviting but I couldn't make myself embrace him.

"All men promise that only to shatter our hopes," I murmured, avoiding his eyes. Instead of answering me, he tugged at the hem of my dress.

"Take this off," he commanded and gave me room enough to do it. I met his eyes, trying to beg him once more.

"If we are to join as one tonight, allow me to maintain some modesty while you enjoy the pleasures of my body," I whispered, feeling like a part of me was dying inside.

He cupped my face in his hands, his eyes gentle. "Would that make you happy, wife?"

"Yes," I whispered right before he touched his lips to mine in a tender, caressing kiss. It was my first kiss.

"You may leave your dress on. Now come and lie down on the bed," he said and I slowly did as he said, holding in my sobs.

"Don't look between my legs. Please," I whispered as he moved to kneel between my thighs. I could not bear the thought of him seeing the most private part of my body.

"I will look if it pleases me. No need to be concerned," he said, smoothing his hand over my thigh.

I growled at him. "As if that is why I asked. I don't care whether it pleases you or not, I simply wish for some dignity, something you clearly lack."

His face tightened with anger and before I knew what was happening, he flipped me over so I was on my belly and looped an arm around my hips, lifting them up. He pressed his aroused manhood onto the now bare flesh of my hind side.

"Since I lack dignity, maybe I should take you like an animal. Would you like that?" He pressed harder, closer to my entrance this time. I whimpered, fear slicing straight through me.

"No! No, no! Please, no! Let me lie on my back and I will spread my legs for you. But not like this, please not like this," I sobbed, feeling like my heart was being crushed in a fist.

With a sigh, he released my hips and allowed me to roll back over. I panted and stared up at him, waiting to see what he would do.

"I don't want an unwilling bride," he murmured and stroked my hair. "I will be good to you, and I will treat you with kindness. Forgive me for taking you from your home."

I spat in his face. "Never, Norseman chicken droppings."

He growled and wiped away my spittle. "I am tired of playing games with you. You are mine and I _will_ have you tonight."

"You'll have to kill me first," I said and rolled to the side until my feet touched the floor and I swung out from under his arm and ran toward the door, flinging it open. I sprinted out of the sod house, the sky dark and the grass cold under my feet. Even if this lasted only a moment, I felt free for the first time in two days.  
A solid mass of muscle knocked me flat to the ground. I tried to crawl away but he grabbed onto my ankle, pulling me back. I kicked at his face and made impact with his nose. He cursed and released his grip of my ankle and I pushed to my feet, running through the dark forest once again, not knowing where I was headed. Anywhere as long as Asvald wasn't there.

I heard his heavy footfalls behind me and I increased my speed, my side aching and my lungs burning for air but I couldn't stop now.

Once again I was thrown to the ground and groaned from the impact, rolling around to face Asvald.

"Damn you, woman! Damn you to hell!" he shouted, blood running from his nose. With his wild eyes, snarling mouth and bleeding nose, he looked terrifying in the moonlight. My fear reached its peak and I began to crumble inside.

"Please do not force me!" I cried before bursting into sobs. Soon I felt strangely gentle arms slide around me and lift me from the cold wet ground. I rested my head on his strong warm chest and before I could stop myself, I sunk into blessed darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I awoke to someone running their hands over me and my eyes opened. Jerking into a sitting position, I saw that Asvald was lying beside me, wearing not a single stitch of clothing. I gasped and looked away, much to his pleasure.

"We did nothing last night, if that is what you are wondering about," Asvald said and stroked my arm. I groaned and flopped back on the pillows. I wished he had taken me in my sleep. At least then I would have no memory of it, and I would feel nothing.

"I need to relieve myself, Asvald." I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

"I'll take you," he said and took my hand. "Come."  
He led me outside to a small hut that was similar to an outhouse. I finished my business then stepped out, seeing that Asvald still had his back turned. I glanced around and my sight fell on some red berries and I tiptoed over to the bush and picked some, crushing the berries in my hand. I hurried behind the little outhouse and lifted my skirts, smearing the red juice along the inside of my thighs.

I came around the outhouse and strode slowly toward Asvald.

"Are you well?" he asked and touched my cheek. I turned my face from him and wouldn't answer. As if he really cared how I was feeling. Damn him to hell.

He sighed and grabbed my arm, forcing me toward the longhouse. His hands were large enough to wrap around my entire upper arm.

I huffed and blew away some hair that had fallen into my face. The pressure of his fingers quickly turned into pain. "You do not have to be so rough," I growled and glared at him, tripping over a rock in the process.

He just smacked me on the rump and laughed. I growled and clawed at his back, but his thick wool shirt and furs prevented me from doing any damage. He said something to me in Norse, making me even angrier.

Inside the sod house, Asvald's mother and sisters were cooking and working on a loom.  
"Asvald, let me assist your mother," I said as he carried me toward his area of the longhouse.

"No, you are to serve me," he said and shut the door behind us, the boom echoing through the room. I went to a corner and sunk down, pulling my knees up to my chest and crossing my arms over them, glaring up at him.

"I despise you," I growled as he approached me with an amused smile. That damned smile. How could a devil wear the beauty of an angel?

"I don't believe that," he whispered, crouching in front of me. His eyes...soft, almost pleading. He was close enough that I could feel the tickling sensation of his breath on my cheek. My heart did a strange jig against my breastbone.

"You'd better believe it," I said breathlessly, trying not to smile because his nose was swollen and red, dried blood caked over a slit up his nostril. I laughed inside, feeling victorious.

He grabbed my chin and made me look at him. "I'm losing my patience with you, maiden." The gentleness had left his eyes and I found myself unable to meet them.

"Oh dear, what a shame," I said and smacking his hand away, pressing my lips tightly together in my anger. He grabbed my upper arms and tried to bring me to my feet, but I flopped over and relaxed every inch of my body as he groaned and tried to get me to stand. With a roar of fury, he let me fall to the ground where I lay smiling.

He stood over me, his arms crossed over his chest. "My, you are quite a fighter, my lovely."

Livid tears filled my eyes. "You stole me from my home! You have taken all I love away from me and have forced me to be your slave! I _will_ fight you, and I'll _never_ stop." I shook my head. "I'll never stop."

Asvald knelt beside me, though he made no move to touch me. "You are not my slave. You are my wife."

I rubbed my eyes and rolled to my other side, turning my back on him. "It matters not. It is all the same to me." I felt his hand go to my leg, brushing his fingers over the wounds on my ankles. I winced and moved away from his touch. Taking my hand, he lifted it to his lips and kissed my palm, and the wounds on my wrists. I jerked it from his grip and tucked them under my arms.

"I am trying to be kind but that does not seem to be a succeeding method of taming you. Maybe something harsher will subdue you." He lifted me to my feet and took my sore wrist, dragging me through the longhouse and outside into the sunlight and crisp air. He pulled me over to a nearby pine tree and tore off a small branch. He grabbed a fistful of my skirt and lifted it up, so my knees and below were exposed. Taking the switch, he slashed it against the back of my legs. The stinging spread up my thighs and I bit back a whimper. A rage like I had never known before boiling up and overflowed inside me and I turned on him, reaching for the little tree branch. He grunted and lifted it over my head.

I beat my fist against his chest and snarled like a cornered dog. Unfortunately, the strikes hurt my hands more than it appeared to hurt him.

Asvald quickly overpowered me and shoved me face first against a tree, pinning my wrists above my head with one hand, using the other to rip my dress enough so the backs of my calves and a little of my thighs too.

He struck again, only harder. Tears rose in my eyes and my nails bit into the rough bark of the tree. I had never felt so belittled in my entire life. I felt a trickle of blood run down my skin. Another strike landed and drew a growl from me. My skin burned and my legs shook. Looking around, I saw other Norsemen watching us, some laughing, others were serious. Shame coursed through me and I closed my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. A few strikes later, someone shouted, "Asvald!" It was Groa, his mother.  
Asvald ceased his lashing and looked up at her. She stormed over to him, scolding him in Norse. Grabbing the switch, she struck him across the chest with it before throwing it to the ground. Asvald's face flushed red and he spoke sharply to her in Norse. She pointed her finger at him and scolded louder.

I bit back my laughter, but couldn't help but smile. Sweet Groa was defending me against her own son.

She turned to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, leading me away from Asvald and the crowd that had gathered.

"I am sorry, daughter. He does not act like that often. I have never seen him strike a woman before," she murmured and rubbed my shoulder. I leaned into her, needing her comfort.

"I want to go home," I whispered, looking into her eyes. "Your husband is the chieftain. Can't you ask him to take me back home? Surely there is a more beautiful girl out there that would please Asvald."

She shook her head. "Would you wish this fate on another girl? The break has already been made. Now you must allow it to heal."

My head hung low in self-pity and I felt like giving up hope on ever feeling happiness again. "Can you imagine being stolen away from your entire family and forced to be married to a man you feared, a man who killed the menfolk of your town?"

Groa looked away, and silence feel between us and the only sounds were of twigs snapping under out feet. Finally she spoke. "I can. When I was sixteen Norsemen invaded my hometown and killed my father and brothers. I watched my sisters get ravished, powerless to help them. I was taken captive, and I, much like you, became wife of a chieftain's son." She paused and I saw that she was fighting back emotions that she had been struggling with for many years. She continued, "I never saw my mother again, and my sisters were sold off into slavery and I did not see them again. At first I hated my husband. I fought him and fought him. It was only when I became with child that I learned to love him." She looked at me and smiled. "You will learn to love my son, even if it takes a child to do so."

I folded my arms over my chest and thrust my chin up. "There will never be a child if I have my way."

Gora chuckled and rubbed my back. "Asvald told me why he was switching you."

My face heated and I looked away, hiding an embarrassed smile. "I mean no harm; I am simply protecting my virtue."

"Why?" She asked as we came into the clearing with the river.

"I don't want to be ravished by Asvald." Good God, woman! I threw my hands up in the air. "You of all people must understand this," I said as I stepped into the cold water. It soothed the inflamed skin on the back of my legs and I took a deep breath from the blessed relief.

She nodded. "I do, I do." She said nothing more, just stood in silence while I finished soaking my sores.  
When I finished, she said, "I will take you back to Asvald now. I'm sure his temper has cooled."  
My heart was heavy as we walked back to the village, and my legs started to sting once again. Strings of curses ran through my mind, wishing I could scream them at Asvald. I asked Groa how to say something in Norse and she taught me, so I could say it to Asvald.

He was sitting outside the longhouse, looking quite ashamed of himself. Groa stopped walking and folded her arms over her chest and I continued to approach Asvald. He looked up at me and smiled sheepishly. I stopped in front of him and placed my hands on my hips.

" _Ikke piske meg igjen, du store bjørn,"_ I said, the words strange on my lips. I'd said, _Do not ever whip me again, you big bear._

He stood up and cupped my face in his hands, saying something back in Norse before saying it in my language. "I will never do that again. I'm sorry, my beautiful wife."

I turned and showed him the red welts and scratches on my legs. "You should be. Only a brute would treat his woman this way."

"Listen to me, woman," he said sternly and grabbed my chin. "It's time you learned how to show respect."

I scowled at him and pulled my chin away. "Are you going to beat me again? That did nothing to tame me. It only made me despise you even more."

His eyes filled with sadness. "I regret harming you. You have every right to hate me now." His stupid, sorry face made me want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze.

I looked away and pressed my lips together, too angry to even speak. As if I didn't have a right to hate him before.  
I was sure that he didn't regret anything; he was only trying to talk me into his bed. "Rot in hell, Asvald."

"Tame your tongue, wife!" he yelled, his face flushing with anger. He looked over my shoulder and said something to his mother. She came to my side and took my hand. He said something more before stomping away.

"What did he say, Groa?" I asked softly, worried that Asvald changed his mind about me and wanted me sold into slavery.

"He said that he wants me to watch over you. He is tired of your company," she said, sounding disappointed. Her soft round face was strained with tension, a look that did not fit her at all. I almost believed that Groa was my own personal angel sent by God to guard me in this strange land.

I smiled at the thought. "Thank God, I'm free of him."

"For now. Come, let me put some ointment on your legs." She led me into the longhouse and sat me down by the fire.

"What should I do, Groa?" I asked, resting my chin in my hand. "I'm lost and alone. I just want to go home. Couldn't you help me escape?"

She shook her head as she smoothed what looked like grease over the switched marks on my calves. "Stop this talk of escaping. It will do you no good. You must accept your life here. I promise the loneliness and pain will fade away with time."

Those were not words I wanted to hear. "I doubt that."

"I am sorry you are so unhappy. Once Asvald sees that you are only trying to protect yourself, he might be kinder to you," she said and handed me a plate of dried fish and cheese, along with a cup of ale. I quickly began eating, realizing how famished I was.

"Do you think you could talk to him? Help him understand?" I asked, looking at her with pleading eyes.

She smiled and touched my cheek. "Of course. He listens well to his _mooir."_

I nodded. "Thank you."

While I ate, other women and men came and went from the longhouse, and I learned more about Asvald's family. He was eldest of his siblings.  
Ulf reminded me of my nephew, Jarlath with his blond hair, blue eyes, and crooked smile. He quickly warmed up to me and was soon bestowing me with kisses. I held him in my arms, close to my heart, hoping that Jarlath could feel my love all the way across the ocean between us.

Asvald stayed away for most of the afternoon, leaving me in peace with his mother and siblings.

But when the sky started to darken, Asvald and his father returned, looking hungry and tired. I went to the fire and served some stew into a bowl and brought it to Asvald, along with a piece of thick bread.

"Thank you, wife," he murmured and began eating. I helped Groa serve food for the children before sitting beside Asvald to eat my own.

After the meal was finished, I watched as Groa filled two large pitchers with steaming water and placed a bowl in her husband's lap. He leaned over it, a soft smile on his face.

Groa stood behind Bork, her hand making its way up his strong back. She gently lifted his hair so it hung down in his face. Slowly she poured the warm water of his head, using her other hand to stroke his hair and gently work out the knots. Halla passed her a bar of soap and Groa put down the pitcher and lathered his hair, massaging his scalp until he moaned with pleasure.

I swallowed hard at the intimate display of a wife tending her husband. I wanted to ask her if it was a normal and regular after dinner activity, but I felt it would be rude to break the spell that hovered in the air around them.

She rinsed his hair and let it fall around his shoulders again, gently combing it till it lay neatly.

Finally she looked up at me and gestured to the other pitcher of water. "Better get to it before the water is cold."

I blanched and glared at Asvald, who stared at me expectantly. "No, I am not doing that."

He lifted an eyebrow but didn't speak. Halla and Inga stared at me like I had gone mad. Even the younger children had stopped playing and stood with round mouths like fish out of water.

Groa came to my side and touched my elbow, gently drawing me toward the pitcher of water. "Eachna, it is one of our customs. You must learn it."

I hated to say no to the angel-faced woman in front of me, with her loving smile and rosy cheeks. But I resisted the urge to obey and chose rebellion instead. "No."

Asvald rose and grabbed my hand, dragging me toward his section of the house. I groaned and tugged against him, looking over my shoulder at Groa. She smiled and nodded.

As the door closed behind us, I occurred to me how much I'd grown to hate this room in only a night. "I have to relieve myself," I said, hoping to buy myself some more time. He groaned but took me outside. Again I gathered some red berries and smeared the juice between my thighs.

"Please be stupid enough to fall for this," I whispered as I straightened my dress and joined Asvald again.

My body trembled as we were again alone in his bedroom. My heart pounded, making my head ache, and I shifted on my feet because I was unable to stay still.

"We've been married for a night and whole day and I still have not seen you unclothed," he said quietly. My stomach clenched and I felt like I would be sick, which was a feeling that I was becoming accustomed to.

"Asvald, please," I whined, wishing there was a place in the room that would make me feel less vulnerable. The only thing that would help would be to stand by the door, but Asvald was blocking it.

"Please what?" He asked, coming closer to me. His dropped his fur coat and stripped of his shirt, leaving his well-muscled chest in my view.

"Stop this nonsense! I won't give into you!" I yelled, standing my ground. I was sick of cowering before him. "You deserve nothing from me after the beating I received from you."

"Oh shut your mouth, I hardly touched you. I've switched children harder than that," he said sarcastically and reached out for me. I hopped sideways and crawled over the bed and to the other side.

He cursed in Norse and darted around to my side of the bed. I scrambled across again, panting. He slammed his hand down on the bed, and before he could move again, I dropped to the ground and wiggled under the bed. He knelt down and reached for me from the right, so I scooted to the left, out of his grasp. I watched his feet come around to the left side, so I moved to the right side.

"Damn it!" He raged and flattened himself out on the floor and reached under again, grabbing my ankles. I screamed as he pulled me toward him. And pinned my legs under his and trapped my wrists in his hands.

He panted as he started down at my panicked face. "Caught you. You gave a good effort though." He smirked and pressed down harder on me.

I arched my back and squirmed, but my wiggles did nothing to help me. He squeezed my wrists till I cried out in pain. This fight was getting old.

Asvald sighed and released my wrists and kneeled, so my legs were free as well. I sat up and wiped at my eyes, trying to get control of my breathing. .

"Eachna," Asvald murmured and took my face between his hands. In a tender gesture that seemed odd for this strong and broad young man, he kissed my forehead and allowed his lips to linger there until my breathing slowed.

The pain in my chest didn't stop as I longed for my family and for my freedom. Suddenly I remembered the berry juice on my thighs. Lifting up my dress, I showed him the red streaks on my thighs.

"I am having my monthly flow," I said and dropped my dress again.

"Hmm. Well, if that is true, let us go to bed and sleep," he said and stood, his hands going to the tie on his trousers. I turned my back and dropped my dress, quickly pulling on a nightgown before slipping under the furs on the bed.

He joined me a moment later, naked as he was on the day he was born. I shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep when suddenly he ripped back the furs and straddled me.

"Asvald!" I cried in surprise and pressed against his chest. "What in the name of heaven are you doing?"

He grinned and spread my legs, kneeling between them. "If you are bleeding, why aren't you wearing women's rags? And why-" He leaned down, bringing his face close to my womanhood- "do you smell like fruit?" He chuckled and my heart sunk with dread.

My heartbeat picked up speed as he lifted my nightgown, revealing my secrets to him. Blushing a deep red, I covered my face with my hands to hide my shame. He reached up and stroked my arm comfortingly.

"Easy, my wife. Feel no shame, I am your husband. You please me despite your insolent attitude," he murmured, licking up some of the juice from the inside of my thigh. Pleasure shot up my leg and my mouth fell open.

"Stop! Husband, I beg you to stop," I said seriously, looking him in the eye. Maintaining eye-contact, he licked my other thigh, his tongue much too close to my privy parts. As his tongue became bolder, I closed my eyes for I felt like I would faint. Biting my lip, I held in any sound that might encourage him and went limp, taking my mind away from what Asvald was doing to me. I imagined riding my horse through the thick green grass of Ireland, my hair flowing free behind me. I missed that sense of freedom, and I wondered if I'd ever be allowed to ride a horse.

Before he could finish, I swung my leg over his head and sprinted toward the door. I got it open and this time I didn't run outside, but ran to his mother. I collapsed next to her sleeping platform by the fire. I shook her shoulder and she groaned, her eyes opening.

"What is it, Eachna?" She asked softly, seeing the frightened look on my face.

"Help me, please. He's treating me horribly, doing unseemly things to me. Help," I cried, clutching at her hand.

"Stop lying to my mother," Asvald said and slid his arms around my waist and lifted me onto his shoulder. Thank God he'd put his trousers back on. Groa spoke to him gently in Norse and he growled back at her something I couldn't understand. After a few minutes of them discussing something, Asvald carried me back to our room. He set me down on the bed and allowed me to cover myself with furs and lie down.

"Are you sore from your journey here?" he asked, reaching under the furs to take my foot in his hand. "Can I help?"

I tucked my knees up to my chest, bringing my feet out of his grasp. "Just let me sleep, please."

He sighed and joined me in the bed, pulling me against his chest. "Let me hold you."  
I rested my head on his chest and tried to relax. I was tired out from fighting him all day and I just wanted some rest. "I am angry with you still. Do not forget that."

His hand trailed along my back in a soothing manner, as if to calm my temper. "Hush now. It is time to sleep."

My eyes closed and I soaked up his warmth, quickly falling asleep.

{}{}{}

The next morning Asvald was gone, so I washed my face and dressed before joining Groa and the children. Ulf and Thord ran to greet me with kisses and embraces. Groa kissed my cheek.

"Are you well, daughter?"

I nodded and forced a smile. "Asvald let me sleep last night." I was thankful for how rested I felt. "Did he tell you what happened last night?"

She shook her head and made me sit by the fire. "No, he only told me that you were resisting him." She served me some porridge with berries. "I told him to let you sleep. I'm glad he obeyed me."

"Thank you for your help last night. I was…scared," I whispered before taking a bite of my porridge. "Where is Asvald now?"

"He is with his father," she said and served breakfast for her children and herself.

After we finished eating, I asked Groa, "May I go for a walk?"

She met my eyes and held my gaze. "Only if you promise you will not run off. Remember, I helped you before and I'm helping you now."

"I promise," I said, looking in her eyes. When I stepped outside, the cool breeze stirred the hair around my face and I took a deep breath before walking down the dirt path that ran through the village. Children chased each other through the streets, shaggy dogs barking at their heels, women rushed around doing their daily chores. Some smiled at me, some nodded, and it occurred to me that I was respected. As the Chieftain's son's wife, I was honored and respected. For some odd reason, this made me happy and maybe even proud of my husband.

The sound of waves and salty air greeted me as I came to a slope overlooking the beach. Long ships were anchored in the bay, and the sight of them brought a fresh surge of fear to my heart. Taking another deep breath, I carefully climbed down the slope. The sand felt cold through my shoes, but I liked the feeling.

Asvald was standing next to another Norsemen and seemed to be arguing with him. I stayed back, not wanting to intrude on their business. After a few minutes, Asvald turned and stormed down the beach. I stumbled after him and soon reached his side.

"Good morning, husband," I said softly and placed my hand on his arm. "Are you well?"

He nodded, but the expression on his face told me otherwise. "I am fine."

We walked in silence for a while and I removed my hand from his arm, putting some space between us. "My sister and I used to love walking along the beach. She'd try to step out into the waves, but they would almost always knock her down. I'd follow her out, and would be there to catch her if she fell." Tears gathered in my eyes as I remembered her. I wondered if she was well, if she was happy. I knew for sure that she missed me, wherever she was.

Asvald looked at me as if examining my face and eyes. "How old is your sister?"

I looked out over the frothy blue water, wishing I could walk across it back to Ireland, my home. "She is eight and ten years old. Her name is Kalin."

"You miss her," he stated and took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Of course I do," I snapped and yanked my hand out of his. "She was my best friend, the one closest to my heart."

His head lowered and I knew he felt bad for forcing me from my home. He opened his mouth to say something, but then changed his mind. His blond hair whipped around in the wind, twirling around his face. Though I hated to admit it, he was quite attractive. He had a strong jawline that was covered in dark blond stubble, and had luscious lips.

"I am hoping that with some time you'll learn to love me and my family, and our village," he said softly, looking down at me.

"You took me from my home and I will hold that against you until the end of my days," I said just as softly, nearly whispering the words. My throat thickened with tears as I imagined my family, welcoming me back home.

His face hardened and he became distant again. "Well, you're here now. You might as well accept it."

I turned in front of him, making him come to a halt. "Never will I accept this. This is wrong, all of it! We're not even married! We weren't wed before God, so I don't consider you my husband. A feast before your pagan gods is not a wedding."

He arched an eyebrow and smirked at me, then suddenly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up against him. Lowering his head, he pressed his lips to mine. They were salty and warm, hard and aggressive on mine as he claimed my mouth. When his tongue brushed mine, I started to struggle with him, leaning away from his body. With one arm around my waist, the other cupped the back on my head, keeping me in place. I groaned and wiggled harder, trying to free myself. He abruptly released me and I fell back onto the sand, the breath knocked out of me. He grinned down at me and brushed his hand over his lips.

"You son of a bitch!" I growled and got to my feet, brushing the sand from my backside while glaring at the blond demon before me.

Asvald shook his head, looking sad and angry at the same time. "You could make things so much easier for yourself if you would stop fighting all of us."

Turning my back, I started up the slope to the village. "I'm not fighting with your mother," I called over my shoulder and he started following me.

"Even so, you're disturbing the peace with your crazy antics," he called back to me.

I spun around and marched back toward him. "That's your fault! You should have picked a Norse wife who would be willing to live with you! What in high heaven did you expect of me?" I cried, my hands going to my hips. "You are a fool if you thought I'd be willing to obey _anything_ you tell me to do."

"You are the fool. You are a fool for trying to go against my wishes," he growled and grabbed my chin. "Have you forgotten that I am the chieftain's son?"

"Oh, I haven't forgotten. You are so spoiled that you couldn't be anything but," I snarled and pushed him away. As I turned to walk away again, he grabbed my wrist and spun me back around.

"I suggest that you learn how to speak to me respectfully," he said sternly, glaring at me.

I pressed my lips together and glared back. "Or what, Norseman? You'll take a switch to me again?"

"I will if I have to. You're like a disobedient child that needs to be put in her place." He continued in Norse and then laughed. My face flushed because I didn't know what he'd said about me. A burly man with red hair came to Asvald's side and spoke to him. Asvald laughed before reaching out to swat me on the bottom, and said something to his red haired friend in Norse. They both roared with laughter. My face heated even more and before I could lose my nerve, I slapped Asvald as hard as I could across the cheek. The smack resounded through the air and silence fell, everyone holding their breath to see what Asvald would do. His face also flushed red with anger and he grabbed my arm, dragging me toward his longhouse.

"You'll be sorry, you little bitch," he growled at me. I tried to dig my heels in the ground but he was still too strong. My arm throbbed where he was gripping me. I clawed at his fingers and shouted,

"Unhand me, beast! Groa! Help!"

He yanked me forward and pulled me into the longhouse. Groa was at the loom and she looked up in surprise. I parted my lips to plead with her to help me when Asvald's hand came over my mouth. Groa gave him a disapproving look and said something in Norse. He shouted at her before throwing me into his bedroom, and slammed the door shut.

I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted on my feet, preparing myself for his fury. His chest heaved as he took off his belt made of animal skin. My heart skipped a beat and my eyes widened. He wouldn't beat me with that, would he?

"Asvald, please-" I started to say but he cut me off.

"Silence! I've heard enough!" He shoved me down on the bed and lifted my dress, exposing the back of my legs. As he raised the belt to strike me, I rolled to the side and off the bed, hitting the floor with a thump. I stumbled to my feet, my eyes darting to the door. If only I could reach it in time.  
Asvald stepped in front of me and I gave him a weak smile. He shook his head and threw the belt across the room. Before I could sigh in relief, he raised his hand and struck me across the mouth. I gasped and covered the stinging area with my hand, looking up at him. My eyes stung and my breathing became ragged. I had never been struck in the face before and I learned quickly that I never wanted it to happen again.

"You hit me; I hit you, so now we are even. Never strike me again," he said and I could tell his temper was fading.

Nodding, I stepped around him and went toward the door. "I want to help your mother with the chores." Anything to get out of that room.

"Go," was all he said before dropping into his chair in front of the fire, covering his eyes with his hand.

I shut the door softly behind me and strode over to Groa's side. She looked up at me with concern. "He struck you."

I nodded, feeling the bruise starting to form in the shape of his hand. A few tears rolled down my cheeks.

She shook her head and ran a hand over my hair in a comforting way. "I told him to keep his hands off you unless the touches are ones of love."

I smiled at her kindness and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, mother. I think he did not intend to harm me; his temper just gets the better of him."

"Aye, he has quite a temper," she agreed and motions for me to sit beside her. I did, and began to help her weave.

"He expects me not to fear him, only respect him, but now he's taken a switch to me, threatened me with a belt, and struck me with his hand. He's a fool," I grumbled as we worked.

She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "Trust me, he is no fool. Though he is acting like one currently."

We sat in quiet for quite some time before Asvald came out of his bedroom and hurried out of the longhouse. I jumped up and followed him.

"Where you going?" I asked, hands on my hips.

"That's none of your concern, woman," he said, not even bothering to look at me.

"When do you plan on going back to Ireland?" I asked, hoping he would tell me so I could stow away on the ship somehow.

He laughed. "No, I shan't be telling you that." He reached out and ruffled my hair. I ducked away from his hand. "Return to the longhouse, wife."

"My name is Eachna; you may call me by it. And no, I don't wish to return to the longhouse," I said though it might earn me another switching.

He didn't respond, he just kept walking faster than me. Since I didn't want to follow him around like a puppy all day, I turned the other direction and started heading toward the clearing with the river.

Once I reached the river, I removed my shoes and sat on a rock, letting my feet soak in the crisp water. I pondered my situation, and what my plan was for escaping. My only way back to Ireland was by sea, and I didn't know how I could possibly sneak onto a long ship. There was no hope; no chance of me getting away from here. Dropping my head into my hands, I allowed my tears to flow, my spirit broken. All I saw ahead of me was bitter misery and I wanted none of it. A life of serving Asvald and warming his bed was not enough to keep me happy. I imagined my sister getting married without me by her side, my niece and nephew growing up without having any memories me.  
I cried until no more tears would come, and leaned down to drink from the river. Once my thirst was quenched, I looked up into the sky and guessed by the sun's travel across the sky that an hour had gone by. Though I knew I should return to the longhouse, I didn't want to become trapped in Asvald's dark bedroom again, trying to run from him and his passion. So I stayed, enjoying the peace and quiet. A doe came to the river with her fawn and I stayed perfectly still as they drank, their sweet gracefulness enchanting me.

A twig snapped behind me and the deer bolted. I whirled around to see how was behind me, only to see Asvald. With a sigh, he sat down beside me on the rock and rested his hand on my knee.

"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" He asked softly and I turned my face away from him. His gentleness was short-lived and it would only be a matter of time before he became angry again.

"I am sorry, Eachna," he whispered and I felt his eyes on me. With a gentle touch, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You've said that many times to me now. I wish that you would treat me better." I paused before finally looking him in the eye. "Can you blame me? For fighting you? If you were taken captive to a new land, away from your family and given to marriage to a stranger, wouldn't you be angry?"

"I'd never be taken captive," he said, like he'd never considered what it would be like to be in my place.

"But if you were, wouldn't you act just as I am?" I asked again while lifting his hand off my knee.

He folded his hands in his lap and his brow wrinkled as he contemplated my question. "I'd be furious along with being sad. I'd mourn the loss of my family and I'd fight against my captors with all my strength."

I smiled, grateful that he finally understood how I felt. "Thank you," I whispered. "Now you see why I must return home."

He growled and his hands folded into fists. His temper was immerging once again and I braced myself for some kind of pain. "I cannot allow that. Even if that means tying you to my bed. You are my wife now." He reached out and touched my cheek. "I could make you happy if you would simply allow it."

I shook my head and brushed his hand away. "No, you can't. You can't." Before he would know what was happening, I leaped from the boulder and plunged into the river, trying to swim across. He reacted quickly and dove in after me. Since he was a better swimmer, he caught up to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I slashed him along the cheek with my fingernails and he released me. I charged out of the water and onto the riverbank, gulping for air. I saw him rise in the water, coming after me. I ran forward through the woods, forgetting the pain in my side and my aching lungs. I was so close to freedom. I'd find some other seaport and I'd stowaway back to Ireland. It was simple, really. Coming to a thick tree with big roots, I dove behind it and nestled myself between the huge roots. Trying to calm my breathing, I closed my eyes and tried my best to be silent. I heard Asvald's footsteps as he chased after me. I ripped up some ferns and sprinkled them over me, attempting to blend in. I held my breath as Asvald ran past my tree. After a few more feet, he came to a stop and looked around, breathing hard. My own lugs burned for air but I refused to breathe in. He turned in a full circle before his eyes landed on me. I gasped and jumped to my feet, breaking into a run again. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, the muscles in my legs searing with pain.

 _Can't stop, can't stop, can't stop,_ I chanted to myself in my mind, willing myself to run faster. I jumped over a thick root and dodged a sharp-looking plant while still trying to keep up my pace. It was then that Asvald's body hit mine and we both came crashing to the forest floor. I lay panting, too tired to do anything more. Asvald held me down, gasping for air as he stared down at me. Blood streamed from the scratch on his cheek and water dripped from his hair.

"Thor's thunder, woman. Will you ever give up?" He asked breathlessly, still holding me down.

"Get off me, you ugly mutt! Off!" I screamed, struggling against his hold.

"Calm yourself, maiden," he scolded gently before getting to his feet. "Honestly, I'm too weak now to carry you so do you agree to come willingly?"

I nodded and started walking slowly toward the river again. Why didn't I ever try running when I was alone?

{}

That night I was still fatigued from my escape attempt and didn't have the energy to play games with Asvald. I changed into my nightgown and slid under the furs, my eyelids heavy. Asvald stripped down and joined me. I rolled so my back was to him and was happily surprised when he made no move to touch me. Instead he sighed and rolled the opposite way, snoring a short time later. I welcomed the peace.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Over the next week I fought off Asvald's advances and received two more switching, along with earning his trust and his mother's. When they would allow me to take strolls by myself, I allows returned within an hour, showing them that I wasn't trying to run away. All the while I was saving up food, put away an extra dress and underdress, and waited.  
When I was sure that they trusted strongly in me, I brought my bag of food and clothes with me and went to the river.  
After crossing, I walked through the woods at a steady pace, not wanting to tire too soon. My heart was racing the entire time, but I tried not to be overwhelmed by my fear. When I knew that'd start to come looking for me, I began a slow run, getting myself deeper and deeper into the forest.  
Darkness fell and I settled down under a large tree, laying out my fur cloak between two thick roots before lying down. I didn't sleep at all, for I was cold, scared, and alone. Strange noises echoed through the woods, and wolves howled in the distance, making the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end. I only got two hours of sleep that night.  
As the sun rose, I ate an apple and tried to make myself alert. Stumbling to my feet, I walked on, praying that I would find my way to refuge. Though I didn't want to die in the forest alone, it would be better than a lifetime of servitude to Asvald. The sunlight filtered through the trees, and I was grateful for my serene surrounding.

Since I did not know where I was going, I assumed that there must be other villages along the coat, so instead of walking east, I went north and walked that way for about five days. Then I went west and started back toward the ocean.  
As I was doing all this walking, I had plenty of time to ponder everything. I knew I was only going to find Norsemen at Norway, so I decided I would tell them that I am the wife of a chieftain's son. Maybe my status would keep me safe.

By the time I reached the ocean again, I was running low on food and energy. Sleeping was not comfortable or peaceful, and I was not well rested. I strode along the beach, hoping that at some point I would find a village. When it started to rain, I couldn't stop; I just covered my head with my fur cloak to stay dry.

I wondered if Asvald was angry. No, he wouldn't be angry, he'd be furious, in a rage. If he ever caught me, he'd probably just kill me. I was most proud of myself that he hadn't caught me this time. Or at least not yet.

After walking for five days with barely any food or sleep, I was stumbling around like a drunken person. My whole body hurt and I was so tired. Finally, just as the sky was losing its last light, I collapsed on the ground and slipped into darkness. 

I was woken by someone nudging me in the ribs with their foot. My eyes flew open and I sprung to my feet and sped off as fast as I could, not even looking to see who was behind me. I heard him come after me, and I gasped for air and I pumped my legs faster, faster. When I did glance over my shoulder, I saw that it wasn't Asvald, but some stranger I didn't recognize. Unfortunately, taking my eyes off of where I was going wasn't very wise, because I tripped and twisted my ankle. I cried out in pain as I hit the ground, angry because now I wouldn't be able to walk on it. Whoever was following me grabbed me and slung me onto his shoulder.

"Unhand me! I am wife to Asvald, son of chieftain Bork!" I shouted, struggling against him. He came to a stop and set me on my feet again, with both hands on my arms to keep me from running.

"Why are you here?" He asked, his green eyes fierce and cold, his brown hair swirling around his face.

"I need passage to Ireland," I said, trying to sound commanding and brave. My legs and hands were shaking and I was struggling to hide it.

The green eyed man studied me for a moment before saying, "You're his captive bride. And now you're running away."

My face went pale and I tried to shake myself from his grip, but he held me firm. "Release me!"

The man laughed and lifted me onto his shoulder again and began walking back the way I'd come. "I'm taking you back to your husband, wench. I suggest you stay with him from now on," he cackled and spoke something in Norse. I closed my eyes and tried to hide my disappointment. But I wouldn't give up. Maybe it hadn't worked this time, but I wasn't going to stop trying. If Asvald didn't kill me, that is.

We went back in the forest, and walked all through the night and the next day, and though I was not pleased about being taken back to Asvald, I welcomed the break from walking. I actually slept while I was slung over his shoulder.

After four days of this, we came to the river by my village and he carried me across. I struggled with him some, still trying to get away, but he managed the get us both across the river safely.

He went straight for the biggest longhouse, Asvald's and his family's longhouse. I screamed and kicked, desperate not to go back in there. He ducked into the doorway and set me back down on my feet. Groa jumped up and ran to me, wrapping me in her arms.

"Eachna! Where have you been?" She cried, placing kisses on both of my cheeks. I smiled and embraced her again.

"I'm sorry if I've disappointed you," I whispered, rubbing her back. She pulled away and stroked my cheek, saying something softly in Norse. Then she turned and spoke to the man in Norse, before handing him a pouch filled with coins. I let out a sigh of relief when he slipped back out of the longhouse.

Groa had me sit by the fire and fixed me a plate of ham, bread, and cheese. We didn't speak, for I had nothing to say and after the joy of seeing me was wearing off, I knew she was upset with me.

"Groa, I didn't mean to disrespect you and your family," I said, hoping she would understand why I ran away.

"I know," she said softly, gathering her basket of furs and sewing supplies, taking out what looked like a half-finished shirt.

"Where is Asvald?" I asked before taking a bite of bread.

Her hands stilled and she looked up at me, her lips pressed into a firm line. "He's out searching for you."

I looked down, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Groa didn't deserve my disloyalty even if Asvald did. "When will he come back?"

She resumed her sewing. "In a few days, since of course he won't find you."

"Do you think he'll be angry? Will he hurt me?" I asked, starting to get worried. Maybe I'd just made things worse for myself.

"I won't blame him if he does hurt you. You were wrong to run away," she scolded.

I frowned and looked away, not wanting to be reprimanded for trying to return to my family. "I want to lie down," I said and slipped into Asvald's bedroom. For the first time in over ten days, I slept deeply.

I awoke to someone pushing me off the bed. After hitting the hard ground, I got to my feet and faced a livid Asvald.

"What in Odin's earth were you thinking, woman?" He yelled and grabbed my upper arms, giving me a shake. "If you ever find your way back to Ireland, I will personally hunt you down and kill your family right in front of you!"

Tears filled my eyes as Asvald crushed my last hopes. I could never return home now. "I'm not sorry, Asvald. I'd do it again if I got the chance."

He laughed like he found this amusing and took a short coil of rope from his belt. He tied one end around himself, and tied the other around my waist. "Until you learn that it is futile to run from me, you will remain within my sight." He turned and headed toward the door, pulling me along with him. My body still hurt from my long journey and I did nothing to resist him, following along beside him as he spoke with other villagers. After a while, I lost interest and started pacing back and forth and jerking on the rope that connected us.

"Still yourself, wife," he murmured to me at one point, looking embarrassed in front of his friend. I had noticed that he never called me maiden in front of other people, for he wanted them to assume that we were physically intimate. Basically, I shouldn't be a maiden still.

After socializing for a few hours, Asvald wanted to go riding, so I sat behind him as we galloped over the green hills, the horse's hoof beats quiet against the soft, lush grass. I wrapped my arms around Asvald's waist and pressed my cheek against his back. The wind blew my hair out behind me and I embraced the feeling of freedom, not matter how fleeting it was.

Asvald halted the horse and swung off, then lifted me down, drawing me into his arms. I held my breath and looked up into his blue eyes, waiting to see what he would do.

"I'm still angry with you about running away," he said softly and brushed some hair out of my face. "And I could punish you severely for your disobedience."

I narrowed my eyes and stepped back away from him, until the rope wouldn't reach any further. "Then punish me. It'll only fuel my hate for you."

He shook his head, his blond hair flowing in the breeze. His eyes searched my face, and he smiled.

Turning around, I started to strain against the rope, but Asvald planted his feet, refusing to let me move. I groaned and stopped my efforts, turning back around to face him.

"Do you find in joy in my sorrow? Does it please you that my heart is breaking within my chest?" I asked, tears of frustration filling my eyes.

His face softened and he came toward me slowly. "No, I'm not pleased by your sickness of heart. And sometimes I hate myself for what I've done to you."

Avoiding his gaze, I whispered, "Please let me go home. You will find a better woman then me, a Norsewoman."

He chuckled softly and kissed my cheek, his lips warm against my chilled skin. "There is no better woman."

I shivered despite myself and smiled at his complimenting words. "I want to go home."

"I know you do," he whispered and kissed my forehead. "You are lonely, for you won't let anyone close to your heart."

I shook my head, denying it. "I am close with your mother and your brother Ulf."

Asvald grinned, the smile lighting up his whole face. "I've seen you with Ulf. You're going to be a wonderful mother."

Blush crept up my neck and I murmured, "You have to steal my virtue first."

His hand moved up my ribcage to cup my small breast. "Which I plan on doing soon."

That night he removed the rope so we could change into our nightclothes and I welcomed the space between us. He watched me remove my dress, his eyes lingering on my hips and below. Before I could pull my nightgown on, he placed his hands on my bare hips, caressing the skin there.

"Your hips are perfect," he murmured before kissing my neck. "You'll give me sons."

My heart skipped a beat, feeling bashful because I was naked. His mouth trailed down my neck and over my collarbone, making my breathing hitch. "Asvald…"

He hummed against my skin, his rough hands trailing up my back. "I'm going to take you tonight."

I jerked out of his arms, ready to fight him off once again. This was becoming a nightly ritual. "No, you're not."

He didn't get angry and he didn't try to reach for me. "I know you hate me, but why deny yourself pleasure?"

My face heated and I looked away. "A relationship cannot be built on passion alone. I hate you and I know you don't love me. We don't have a relationship, we aren't even friends."

Asvald shrugged. "It matters not to me."

"Well, it does to me," I said and pulled on my nightdress. "I believe that you don't want to ravish me, otherwise you would have done it already."

He smiled in a way that was almost mocking me. "You are right that it's been my choice not to force you. And believe me; I have no qualms about forcing a woman to do her service to me."

I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head. "Then why have you not done it?"

He said nothing, only came forward and brought me toward him, fitting my body with his. His mouth lowered to my neck and he nibbled on my earlobe.

"I will run," I threatened, trying to back out of his arms. They tightened around me, keeping me in place.

"Run, then. I will chase you down," he growled, his lips trailing down to the neckline of my nightgown. I felt my body start to respond to him and cursed myself for it. Struggling against his hold, I pressed against his chest with one hand and tangled the other in his hair, yanking his head away from me.

"I will fight you," I groaned and slipped out from under his arms. "And if you force me, I will _never_ forgive you."

"You hate me already for stealing you from your home and beating you. What's one more thing?" He reached out for me but I skirted around him, trying to get to the door. I made a grab for the latch but Asvald's strong arms slipped around me, dragging me away.  
"Let me go!" I screamed, twisting and turning, fighting against his hold.

"Shut your mouth, maiden!" He yelled and pushed me down to my knees. "Calm yourself!"

"Remove your hands from me! Get off!" I cried.

" _Flannfluga_ ," he growled in Norse. There was a knock on the door and Asvald released me with a frustrated hiss and opened the door. There stood his father Bork, looking annoyed. He spoke to Asvald in Norse and Asvald covered his eyes with his hands, groaning something in Norse. Bork said something and came to my side, helping me to my feet. He led me out of the room and as I passed Asvald, I stuck my tongue out at him. He frowned and shook his head.

Bork settled me onto a bed by the fire and Groa knelt next to me, her hand on my shoulder.

"This needs to stop, Eachna. My husband and I cannot sleep because of your screams and you're waking the children. Either you learn to live in peace with Asvald or he will build you a longhouse and I won't be here to rescue you every night," Groa said gently yet sternly.

I covered my face with my hands and fell back onto the furs with a groan. "What does _Flannfluga_ mean?"

"It means 'she who flees the male sex organ," Groa murmured, stroking my hair.

I rolled away from her, completely humiliated. "Let me sleep. I will speak to Asvald in the morning."

She got up and left me alone, and it took me a long time to fall asleep as I considered my choices.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Voices filtered through the darkness and I heard Ulf laughing and Thord crying, Groa was mumbling and Bork was yelling. I cracked one eye open and saw the whole family gathered around the fire for the morning meal. Sitting up, I drew the eyes of everyone, but mine settled on Asvald. He pressed his lips together and looked away.

"Good morning," I murmured and stumbled into Asvald's bedroom to dress. Once I was decent, I joined the family for the meal, but everyone was done except for Halla, Asvald's fifteen year old sister. Asvald put away his dirty dishes before storming out of the longhouse. I blushed, realizing that his whole family had heard us fighting last night. Halla smiled at me and took my hand, saying something in Norse. I looked at Groa for translation.

"She says that she can't speak Irish, but she wants to learn," Groa said with a smile. I looked back at Halla and said,

"I can't teach you now, for I have to speak with my husband. But I will teach you, I promise." Groa turned my words into Norse so Halla would understand.  
When she nodded, I rose and went searching for Asvald. I soon found in by the goat pen, leaning against the fence. After taking a deep breath, I joined him though he still ignored me.

"So we are both angry with each other now," I said, reaching into the pen to pet one of the goats, who was trying to nibble on the end of my braid.

"Don't speak to me, woman. Go tend to your chores," he snapped, avoiding my gaze. I placed my hands on my hips and turned to face him.

"Are you going to build a longhouse for the two of us?" I asked, getting right to the point.

Finally his eyes met mine, though they were cold and distant. "Yes, I am. I am sick of being disgraced by you in front of my parents."

I pursed my lips and gritted my teeth. My eyes glanced up at the sky as I tried to contain my irritation. It was a struggle but I managed to stay silent, figuring that after all the arguing I had done in the past couple weeks, there was nothing more I could say.

"If you are not going to pull something out of that smart mouth of yours, I suggest you get away from me." His jaw was set, his hands tight on the railing of the fence, making his knuckles turn white.

I grabbed his arm and yanked sharply, finally getting him to look at me, even if he was glaring at me. "I know what you called me last night."

His glare morphed into a smirk and I resisted the urge to smack it right off his face. He folded his arms over his thick chest and rested his hip on the fence. "It is true, is it not? You are fleeing my cock."

Feeling embarrassment shoot straight through me, I kept myself from lowering my eyes despite the warmness of my face. "I am fleeing being ravished," I spat, willing myself not to cry in front of him.

He gazed at me as moment, before sighing and touching my chin. I narrowed my eyes.

"You are a young little thing," he murmured, almost like he was talking to himself. "Innocent. I can hardly blame you for being frightened. It is true I have not been treating you like the young virgin that you are."

"Enough!" I shouted angrily and shoved him away from me. "I am not frightened!"

Asvald only moved closer and straightened so he towered over me. "Get your arse back in that longhouse. I do not want to hear another word from you."

Despite my hate of defeat, I lowered my head and slipped back to the longhouse. Hatred boiling in my heart and I felt myself growing bitter as I went straight to Asvald's bedroom. Groa called to me but I ignored her and shut the door behind me.

My chest heaved as I felt sobs building up inside of me. More than anything, I wanted my family.

Throughout my young life, I believed I was strong and could handle large burdens on my shoulders. But I felt myself beginning to crumble and it scared me. My spirit was dying and bitterness and anger controlled my thoughts, bringing me down to a dark place.

I went to the bed and laid down on my side. After taking a few deep breaths, I noticed I was lying on the wrong side of the bed, my head resting on Asvald's pillow. I was about to roll away, but instead I stayed still and simply breathed in his scent. His scent was becoming more and more familiar to me.

A knock came at the door and I sat up as Groa stepped into the dim room. Her expression was unclear, shadows shading her face. "Are you well, daughter?"

I sighed and glanced upward, feeling the tears beginning to sting my eyes. "I know you love your son, Groa, but I cannot."

Groa softly came to my side and laid on the bed beside me and tucked her arm under her head. "Let me tell you a story. There once was a small, young boy. His greatest desire was to please those around him, especially his family. As the oldest child, he learned to work hard and protect his younger siblings."

I listened quietly. Clearly she spoke of Asvald.

She continued gently. "He grew older and his temper grew with him. Restlessness haunted him and made him irritable. We decided it was time for him to find a wife. We brought many women of the village to his attention, but he wanted nothing to do with him. He decided he wanted to claim a woman in the raid. His father encouraged him, but his mother did not. Of course, his father had the final word." She paused and took a deep breath. "So he captured a feisty girl, who seemed to bring out his temper more than ever. But deep down inside, he wanted her to accept him, yet he did not know how to appease her, which only increased his frustration and temper." Again she stopped and looked at me, offering a gentle smile. "The rest of the story has yet to be told."

I sighed. "So you are blaming me for his abuse?"

"No, he is responsible for his actions. But I believe if you were calm with him, he will respond to you with gentleness."

We laid side by side in silence for a while, my head swirling with a storm of anger and impatience, hurt, and confusion.

Finally she squeezed my hand and rose from the bed, and slipped out of the room without another word.

I wanted to ease my pain with sleep so I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to go numb until blackness swallowed me.

I awoke with a start, a hand squeezing my shoulder. Asvald stood over me. He frowned as I wiped my mouth and blinked up at him.

"Why are you sleeping in the middle of the day? I know you have work to do," he scolded.

Ignoring him, I rose from the bed and headed toward the door.

He grabbed my arm. "You answer me when I ask you a question," his voice an ugly growl.

Instead of responding to his anger with my own, I simply looked him in the eye and whispered, "Sleeping numbs the pain."

Asvald's face softened for a moment, his eyes reflecting what I felt inside. His grip loosened on my arm.

Uneasy, I moved out of his grasp and slipped out the door into the main room of the longhouse where the rest of his family gathered. It was time for the evening meal.

I smoothed my hair and wiped my eyes, sitting down beside Asvald's brother Ragi. He smiled at me and patted my knee. Groa passed me a plate of meat and roasted carrots, then sat beside her husband.

My stomach ached with anxiety but I tried to nibble on the food. Asvald stepped out of his room, and pointed to his brother and spoke a single harsh word in Norse.

Ragi sighed and rolled his eyes. His eyes met mine as he shook his head and moved to sit next to Halla.

Asvald sat beside me, his arm brushing mine. Chills shot up my spine. After the evening meal, Asvald would expect me to retire with him to his bedroom, and I was not strong enough for yet another fight with him.

"Eat your food," he mumbled and gestured to my plate.

My mouth set in a hard line. My tolerance for his constant commands had run out. I tilted my head and glared at him, lifting my plate out to the fire and dumping my food into the flames.

"Eachna!" Groa scolded me, but I didn't pay her any mind.

Asvald's eyes turned dark, and reflected the blaze of the fire. "You will not disobey and mock me in front of my family."

I smiled sarcastically and tapped my fingers on my chin. "Oh, but I just did."

His jaw tensed and he pointed toward his bedroom. "Get in there. Right now."

Still smiling, I looked down at my lap and folded my arms over my chest. "No."

Asvald stood and grabbed my arm, pushing me into his bedroom and locking the door behind us. "How many times are you going to behave this way until you learn your lesson?"

My heart was pounding but I made the choice to make him angry, knowing he would respond this way. So I decided to stay as calm and fearless as possible. I went to the bed and sat at the edge. "I am tired of your games, Asvald."

He approached me slowly, like a cat stalks a mouse. "Who said this is a game?"

 _Take the chance,_ I told myself. "I hate you and I would rather die than have you touch me. You understand that, yes?"

His eyes stayed locked on mine. "You make that clear."

My heart pounded and I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. But I could not let him see my fear. "If you want to take me, take me. But it will be against my will." I laid back on the bed and lifted my knees. "You keep saying you will ravish me. Go ahead. I am done fighting.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, blurring my view of him. Through the haze of my sadness, I watched him strip off his pants and crawl onto the bed, so he leaned over me with his hips between my legs.

I felt sick and sobs choked me. "Just do it."

He stared at me for a while, and I felt his skin pressed to me. Looking down, I saw that his manhood was not aroused. I raised my eyes back to his.

"Eachna..." he murmured and leaned down, pressing his lips to my cheek. I closed my eyes and trembled with fear as I felt the tip of his tongue flick against my skin.

He pulled away and brushed his thumb over where his lips had been. I realized he had tasted my tears. His manhood was still soft.

"You do not want to ravish me," I whispered and felt my heartbeat beginning to slow.

Sitting up, he slid off the bed and pulled his pants on. He pressed both hands to the wall, his back to me.

"I've seen the way you care for your family. You try to convince me that you are a heartless demon who will do anything to get what he wants, but I have just proved that is untrue." I paused and wiped my eyes and steadied my voice. "You are as human as me."

Slowly, he turned to me and came to sit on the side of the bed. "I still want you as my wife."

"I know," I whispered, lowering my gaze and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"We cannot fight forever, you know," he murmured, his blue eyes gentle instead of angry for once.

I bit my lip and remembered the agony of being torn from my family and my home, remembering Asvald's cruelty. "But how could I ever love you?"

His hands curled into fists, the muscle in his jaw clenched. But then he took a deep breath and eased the tension in his body. "You must learn to. I struggle to love you after you do things such as breaking my nose and disrespecting me in front of my family."

I tilted my head to the side. "You are trying to learn to love me?"

"Aye, of course," he said. "You are my wife. You are the one I will hold close on a cold night and the face I will see every morning when I awake."

His words made my tummy tingle and I stayed silent, not knowing how to respond. I'd never really seen this side of Asvald before. Was this the Asvald Groa was trying to tell me about?

"Do you not want the same thing?" he asked softly and lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes.

"I want my family," I sniffed and began to cry softly, my heart sinking with the heavy ache that was so familiar to me.

He wrapped his arms around me and brought me to his chest, his hand cradling my head against him like one might hold a child. "I am your family, love."

For the first time, I returned his embrace.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

A few days slipped by quietly with few harsh words and without violence. Asvald and I tried to give each other some room, while doing our best to act civil. There were times I felt angry toward him, but when that feeling came, I would go outside and breathe the crisp air and remembered that while Asvald stole me away from my home, he spared my family when he didn't have to.

A cool evening breeze stirred the air inside the longhouse. Asvald and I sat together on one of the benches built into the wall. The rest of his family had gone to other homes for the evening, so we had the house to ourselves.

I reclined against the wall with my knees up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them. "The quiet is a nice change," I whispered with a smile.

He nodded, but did not share in my good mood.

"Why are you sad?" I asked quietly without looking at him. Instead I rested my chin on my knees and stared ahead.

"I have tried all this week not to...frighten you or show you how much I long to have you as my wife in every way. I wish you could understand how hard it has been for me."

I looked at him and frowned. "I have noticed, Asvald. I know it is hard."

Again he nodded halfheartedly and didn't speak.

He was gentle with me all week and didn't show any desire to force himself on me. I wondered how he had managed that, since he seemed like a passionate man with demanding needs.

"How...Is there another woman satisfying you?" I asked softly, blushing.

He glanced at me, and finally smirked, his lips tilted in a smirk. "Would you be jealous?"

Now I blushed more and turned my face away. "No." I realized it was a lie. I would be jealous. But why?

He chuckled and placed his hand palm up in my lap. "This is the other woman satisfying me."

I glanced at his hand, then back at him. "I do not understand."

Again he chuckled, his blue eyes sparkling as he slipped his hand into his pants. "My hand has satisfied me."

My mouth opened in shock and I covered my face with my hands. "Asvald!"

He threw his head back and laughed. I joined his laughter and soon found myself leaning on his shoulder.

I looked up at him and he looked down at me. Neither of us moved. My heart beat a little faster. My lips parted to speak, but no words followed.

Finally, he shifted so his arm slipped around my shoulder, cradling me against his side.

Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on his thigh. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and fingered his hair. My heart was racing but for some odd reason I felt the need to comfort this man who seemed so vulnerable.  
He sighed and turned his head, offering his lips to me. I found myself wanting that contact. This past year was just too lonely. I wouldn't suffer from it anymore. I touched my lips to his, the warmth spreading straight to my toes. Moving slowly, he twisted so I was lying half under him on the furs on the bench, him leaning over me.

"You are my wife. I've wanted only you," he whispered, nuzzling against my neck. His thin, short beard tickled my skin and I fought the urge to giggle.

He pulled back and smiled, and it made him look gentle, kind. Reaching behind me, he pulled the bindings from my braid and let my hair fall in gentle waves around my shoulders. "My beautiful girl," he whispered and kissed my cheek. I smiled, soaking in his attention. I was starved for affection.

"How old are you, Asvald? I don't even know the age of my husband," I said, the fact bringing me sorrow.

"I am twenty years old," he chuckled. "No more talk now." He brought his lips back to mine and as the kiss deepened, I tried not to tremble and failed. His tongue dipped past my parted lips and touched the tip of mine, sending thrills through me down to my toes. Pressing my hands to his scruffy cheeks, I pulled away.

"Do you love me, Asvald?" I whispered, searching his eyes. His lips turned down and I saw the distance form in his eyes.

"I do not love you yet, my Eachna," he murmured, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "But I will."

I nodded, my heart tight with emotions I did not understand.

He smiled before gently biting my lower lip. "I am yours."

His words echoed in my mind for a moment as I let them soak in. Asvald had claimed me for himself when he stole me from Ireland, always reminding me that I was his. But now, he showed me that he was giving himself over to me, letting me steal him from his own home; a home of control and possessiveness.

A log in the fire popped and crackled and I nuzzled closer to Asvald's warm body. "I want to love you first…Before we…before you bed me."

He sighed, disappointment lacing his eyes. "Still you insist on resisting me."

"No, Asvald. I am telling you that love is important to me. You told me you want your home to be a place of love. So give me time to love you."

"Having me inside you is not always an act of love. It can have many meaning. First, it will mean desire. Later, it will be love," he reasoned with me. "Let me kiss you for a while, then you may decide if you want an act of love."

Though I knew it was a bad idea, I nodded and offered my lips to him again.

We stayed like that and kissed, again and again until my heart raced. Soon I felt his hardness against my belly and I went tense, letting out a whimper of fear.

"No," he murmured against my lips. "Do not be afraid. My body wants you; that is all. It will not go anywhere you do not want it to go."

I nodded and he went back to kissing me. Slowly getting more passionately, with more and more tongue; he cradled my head in his hands. I felt him shifting his hips slightly against me, to get some friction on his aroused manhood.

"Asvald..." I whispered. "Soon we will not be able to stop." He cut off each word with a peck on my lips.

"Why should we stop?" he asked, ducking his head to kiss the tender and sensitive skin of my neck.

I felt it getting harder and harder to stop. This felt good, and almost _right._ And I did not truly want him to stop.

He lowered his head even more and grazed my breast with his teeth, gently. I cried out then bit my lip, red-faced and embarrassed. My cry drew a similar sound from Asvald and he rocked his hips forward, his hardness pressing into my belly.

A heavy ache formed between my legs, insistent and intoxicating.

"Let me touch you," he murmured in my ear, his hand lowering to my hip. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing and clear my mind.

"But I think I may still hate you," I whispered and pressed a hand to my forehead.

He laughed softly, his voice deep. "Well, hate me while letting me touch you."

Unfortunately, his family chose that moment to return. They poured into the longhouse, all laughing and talking loudly.

Embarrassment swept through me as his parents smiled at seeing us in such an intimate position. "Asvald, get off," I whispered and pressed against his chest.

His brothers and sisters glanced at us, then ignored us as they prepared themselves for bed.

Asvald ignored me and kissed my neck, even shifting his hips against me again.

"Asvald!" I hissed in his ear. "We are not alone now. I will not be touched like this in front of others."

"They do not care. We are married, they know this is what married people do," Asvald murmured and covered one of my breasts with his hand.

I rolled and slipped out from under him, my head spinning as I briskly strode out the door into the chilly evening air.

Asvald wasn't far behind me. My face flushed as I realized what we had been doing, the way he was touching me. Now that my head cleared, I realized just how ashamed I felt.

My stomach twisted as I knelt in the grass a shot ways behind the longhouse. I felt like I was going to get sick.

Asvald placed his hand on my shoulder. "Are you well, _kone_?"

I shook my head and leaned forward, gagging as bile spurted from my mouth. _Whore, little slut!_ I heard my father's voice in my mind.

"Oh, love," Asvald sighed and knelt beside me, lifting my hair away from my face as he rubbed my back.

My whole body shook violently as more bile came up. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I groaned and clutched the long grass in my fists. For the first time in my life, I truly hated myself.

Asvald leaned down and kissed my shoulder. "Calm down, _kone_. Just breathe."

"I can't," I stuttered and gagged again. How could I let this happen? How could I let a murdering, cruel man like Asvald seduce me?

He touched my back and I leaned away. "Please don't."

"What is wrong, love? Are you upset because my family saw us lying so close?" He did as I asked and removed his hands from me.

I shook my head and took a deep breath, feeling my stomach settle. "I was wrong to let you touch me like that." I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

Sighing, Asvald took my hand and began twisting the ring on my finger. "I know you must feel like you've betrayed your family and perhaps even yourself, but you must remember, you are my wife."

My heart clenched in my chest and I looked up to the sky, fighting a severe feeling of hopelessness. "I am not." The words were a lie, but I spoke them anyway. I knew I was his wife, but to me it still felt impossible that this man was my husband. I still felt like a child, a child whose innocence was torn away too quickly.

We sat side by side in the grass for a while, neither of us speaking. I closed my eyes and let the cool breeze caress and calm me.

Asvald must have noticed, because now he turned to me and touched my cheek. "I must do something. Will you be alright?"

I nodded and let my eyes drift away without focusing on anything. He stood and walked away into the gently rolling hills.

Finally I stood and brushed off my dress, my legs shaking as I went back into the longhouse. Groa noticed my entrance and came to me, her eyes gentle as she placed her hands on my shoulders. "You do not look well, daughter."

Tears welled in my eyes. "I am sick." Sick of heart, sick of mind, sick of spirit. A harsh storm followed me wherever I wandered and whipped me into a dull acceptance of the events around me. More than anything I yearned for a sweet ray of sunshine to split the black clouds around my heart and warm the frozen emotions inside me.

Groa led me into Asvald's bedroom and tucked in into his bed, kissing my forehead. The lines on Groa's face showed a life of pain from the lines on her forehead, and a life of great happiness from the lines around her eyes and mouth. I wondered what story my face would tell one day.

"Try to sleep," she whispered and slipped away.

I did not sleep. Instead I let my mind travel anywhere it cared to go, finding myself in my favorite memories. I felt my nephew's hands caressing my face, his smile as he told me he loved me. The eyes of my sister, the arms of my mother around me. I heard the chorus of Irish voices at the marketplace, saw the steep green cliffs over-looking the ocean. But then Asvald's face appeared. I did not push the sight out of my mind. I allowed him to linger there, wondering what he would do.

I saw him walking through my home, the village I grew up in. He smiled, seemed peaceful. He caused no destruction in my mind. I saw us together in his bedroom, but instead of fighting, we laid entwined on the bed, his lips owning mine.

When I opened my eyes again, I realized I had been crying. Rolling over in the bed, I pulled the thick blanket to my shoulders, surrounding myself with the smell of Asvald. Tears pricked my eyes and soon I broke into sobs. The smell of Asvald made me lonely and confused, yet I did not understand why.

I startled when I felt a body slide into the bed beside me and glanced over to see Asvald lying beside me, his hand resting on my hip. "It's alright, Eachna."

Surprisingly, I didn't feel threatened by his presence. I rolled onto my back and wiped at my eyes, my chest still shaking as I sniffed and tried to force the sobs away.

"I have something to say to you," his whispered gently, his blue eyes the color of wildflowers; vulnerable. "It is a poem."

This caught my attention and I shifted onto my side, facing him. I nodded my encouragement and he began to speak.

"Against the ship the waves crashed,  
Son of a chieftain I was born,  
Full of rage, many lives I smashed.  
From your green house you were rudely torn,  
Harsh words played like music from a loud horn,  
Wanting love while your heart I bashed.  
A hole of guilt in my heart gashed,  
Your bitter tears prick me like a thorn.  
Leave the old pain, no more rehashed,  
Give your forgiveness and be reborn."

My breath caught in my throat and I stared at him with awe. Poetry was considered a fantastic romantic gesture. I would never expect such a thing from Asvald. He cared enough to show me he was repentant of his sins toward me. He took the time to memorize a poem meant just for me.

"Asvald..." My voice was weak and my hands made their way to his chest. "Are you speaking poetry only to seduce me?"

He brought his face close to mine, our foreheads almost touching. "No."

I slid my hands slowly up his chest and neck to his cheeks dusted with course hair. "What do you want from me? Other than me spreading my legs for you."

Asvald covered my hands with his, amazed that he was touching me in such a tender way. "Let me answer your question with a question of my own. What are the duties of a wife?"

I rolled my eyes and dropped my hands. "Of course that is what you want to talk about." All he cared about was my surrender, so he could take me like a dog.

"No," Asvald said firmly and squeezed my chin, making me look at him. "Yes, a wife warms her husband's bed. But that is only maybe an hour every other night, possibly even less than that. What of everything else?"

"She supports him," I said softly, looking down at my lap. "She is always there when he needs to talk. She bears his children."

Asvald nodded and trailed his finger down my neck. "You're getting closer. But there's more than that. You need to go deeper."

I sighed. "Deeper is exhausting." Closing my eyes, I pressed a hand to my forehead. If I thought too much, I started to miss my family and how I would be betraying them if I fell in love with Asvald. "It's not that I won't love you, Asvald. It's that I can't."

Asvald bit his lip and clenched his jaw. I knew he was trying to control his temper. "Let me say this. You may think that this whole time, I've only been pushing you and hurting you, and being angry, and perhaps some of that is true. But I've been watching you, learning who you are. You're stubborn." He smiled endearingly and touched a strand of my hair. "You're brave, and you do not give up. You can love me, because you can do whatever you decide to do."

"Asvald..." I sighed and felt tears prick my eyes. "My family...I cannot betray them." How could I willingly chose to love the man who separated me from them?

"If your family wants you to stay miserable in your situation because it would be a betrayal to love me, it could be time to re-think who your real family is," Asvald said softly and lowered his head toward me, asking my permission for a kiss.

I closed my eyes and tilted up my chin and our lips touched, a satin caress that shined a light on the feelings I'd tried to hide away in the deepest, darkest corners of my heart and mind.

"What am I to do?" I whimpered against his lips. If I chose to love this man, there was no chance that I would ever see my family again.

"Let them go," he breathed, cupping my face between his hands.

A sob escaped me and I turned away from him, covering my face with my hands. "I can't!" I wailed and my whole body shook as howls racked my body.

Asvald pulled me back to his chest and cradled me. "Listen to me. Shh. Breathe and listen to me." He stroked my hair until the howling stopped and my breathing slowed, though I still felt like someone had struck me in the chest.

He continued, "This will hurt. It might always hurt. You may hate me because I'm the one who caused the pain. But I will give you a little time to let your family go, and I know you will mourn that loss for a while."

I pressed my hands to my sore eyes. I'd cried every single day since I left Ireland. "It will kill me to let them go."

"It will kill you to hold onto them," he murmured and caressed my back, sending chills through me. Lying beside him like that, I could feel the strength of his body, the solid muscle. If only he used that strength for good, and not evil. How long could I fight him? "What if I choose to never give in to you and fight until I die?"

He sighed. "I will give you to another man. You cannot be my wife if you will not meet my needs, and provide children. As the son of a chieftain, I need heirs."

I felt like an icy rock had dropped into my stomach and I sat upright, leaning over him. "What? You cannot do that." Panic started to take hold of me.

His eyes were sad as he took my hand and squeezed it. "If you choose to be unhappy, I will not need you anymore. You will be the slave of another man, and you will have no chance of achieving happiness."

I pressed a hand to my mouth. My stomach twisted and my mind raced. Asvald could be cruel and short tempered, but ultimately, he hardly ever committed evil against me. Going to a new man would only make my situation worse. I told myself to breathe.  
"How long do I have before you will give me to another man?"

"If you are willing to let your family go and be my wife, I will give you two weeks to mourn your loss and accept the fact that you are my wife and will act accordingly. If you tell me right now that you will never let your family go, I will divorce you and give you to another man by tomorrow evening."

The selfish side of me wanted to say, yes, I'll be your wife and forget my family. But of everything I believed in, I believed in family above all else. I would live with the guilt and shame of becoming Asvald's whore because I feared the life of a thrall.

I bit my lip and felt my heart tearing inside me. "I cannot, Asvald," I said softy, nearly a whisper. I felt too weak to even speak the words. "I cannot forget my family, and I cannot be your wife."

Asvald's face drooped and his eyes slowly closed. "You have made a grave mistake." His voice was hard and cold, a bitter edge that cut through my spirit like a frosty sword.

He rose from the bed. "I must gather witnesses for our divorce. I will return shortly." He stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

I sat up and wiped my eyes, and for the first time since my abduction, I sincerely wished for death. Instead of crying, I poured water into a bowl and washed my face, and re-braided my hair. My life was over. I would not have a loving husband. I would not have children, unless they were illegitimate, and I would never have a future. But the alternative seemed worse, to give up the love of my family, my own flesh and blood. I could never turn my back on my history, my heritage, and my country. I had to accept what must be done.

Asvald's bedroom door opened and people poured in. I recognized them as the witnesses of our wedding night.

Asvald became to my side and we stood before the small group of people.

"Witnesses, these are my reasons for wanting a divorce from this woman. Our marriage has not been consummated. We tricked you on our wedding night."

The witnesses looked at me and I blushed. "It is true."

The witnesses nodded, and didn't look too pleased. "Go on," a man said.

Asvald lifted his chin and I glanced at him, noticing that his eyes were watering. "She refuses to meet my needs, whether sexual or any other kind of need. We have an unhappy marriage and I want out of it."

"We need to discuss your plea for a moment," the same man spoke, then the witnesses formed a circle and huddled together, whispering in hushed tones.

I folded my hands to try to stop their trembling, and closed my eyes to take a deep, calming breath before turning to Asvald. "Please do not sell me to a cruel man."

He refused to look at me, his jaw clenched. "I will not sell you to an unkind man." He paused for a moment. His voice softened as he murmured, "I did not believe you would actually decide to do this instead of just submitting to be my wife."

Before I could respond, the witnesses turned back around and one woman with thick black hair and a sharp face spoke. "We have found your reasons to be valid. We will continue in the divorcing process. You must declare yourself divorced in your bedroom, in the doorway of your house, and before a gathering of people."

Asvald straightened and sighed. "I, Asvald, son of Bork, declare myself divorced from this woman, Eachna."

As his words sunk in, I felt the numbness of spirit beginning to take hold of me. I followed Asvald and the witnesses to the doorway of the longhouse, were he repeated the same words.

We walked outside and I curled my arms around myself, even though the weather was comfortable. Asvald strode into the middle of the village. "Everyone gather around!" He shouted and the villagers obeyed, a crowd quickly forming around us in all directions. I felt like a mouse surrounded by cats.

"I have gathered you here as witnesses to my divorce." His voice rang out loud and clear, and the crowd responded with gasps and whispered, fingers pointed to me, along with disapproving glances.

"Our marriage has not been consummated," he shouted.

My face turned red and hot, shame coursing through me. Why did he have to include that part? All he had to do was proclaim himself divorced. He did not have to explain why.

"She refuses to meet my needs, whether in our bed, or any other area of our lives. She rejected my life, therefore we have an unhappy marriage. I, Asvald, son of Bork, declare myself divorced from this woman, Eachna."

It was final. Asvald was no longer my husband. The crowd slowly began to disperse. Asvald met my gaze and I could see my own pain reflected in his eyes.

"You will sleep in my home but not in my bed tonight. Tomorrow you will be sold." He narrowed his eyes at me before turning and pacing back to the longhouse.

I followed him, relieved that the sun was nearly setting. I wanted to sleep and forget my troubles. Tomorrow I would face my fate.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Sleep refused to come to me that night, despite my strong desire to disappear in darkness. The bench felt too hard beneath me and the blankets too rough, the furs too heavy.

I knew my condition would only worsen by morning, so I cried as quietly as possible, my thoughts lingering on my family. Loneliness was my constant companion and I wanted nothing more than to see my loved ones again.

Thin morning light poured in through the doorway as the sun rose, signaling my doom.

Asvald's door opened, and I wondered if he hadn't slept either. His family rose as well, but Asvald ignored them as he gathered a few things. He stood before me and placed the items on the bench beside me. A knife, a thin, plain dress, and a leather collar. My heart sank.

He didn't speak as he sat behind me and pushed on my head, asking me to lower my chin. I obeyed and he took the knife, and lifted my braid from my back. Tears stung my eyes because I knew what he was about to do. He sawed my hair at the base of my braid, cropping my hair close around my face. He tossed my severed braid into the fire and a sob escaped me. He brushed off the loose hairs from my shoulders, then took the collar, fastening it around my neck. It would be my yoke of bondage.

He placed the plain brown dress on my lap. "Put this on."

Standing, I turned my back on his family and dropped my old dress, and pulled the new one over my head. Asvald regarded me with an emotion I couldn't place.

My chin trembled as I made an effort to control my spinning emotions. I gritted my teeth.

"Come with me." He headed out the door and I trailed a respectful distance behind him. After all, I was no longer his wife. I was only a thrall.

We gathered in the same place we had yesterday, in the middle of the village. Again, Asvald called for attention and a crowd gathered.

"This woman is for sale as a thrall. She will work hard. I cannot assure you that she will do as she's told, but I believe a good whipping would cure her of that." The crowd laughed and he smirked at me. I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes shut as my shoulders shook. I feared I would fall over without something to lean on. But I refused to crumble to my knees. They would never break me. I lifted my head and blinked away my tears.

Asvald continued, asking for a certain price, but I stopped listening, finding myself lost in reverie. In my mind, I could see myself as I young child, running through the Irish meadows, chasing butterflies amid the wildflowers, laughing and playing. Somehow I always found myself in trouble as a child. Rules did not appeal to me, and that hadn't changed. The ocean became a second home to me at a young age. I spent my days dreaming of the adventures I'd have and the happiness that would be mine. I'd dreamed of a home with a loving husband and children. How could such a care-free, happy young girl turn into a thrall in a foreign land with a leather collar around her neck?

My attention was captured again when a middle aged man with a thick beard stepped forward. "I will take her."

Asvald smiled. "Ah, Jabez! The deal is done." He shook the man's hand, then received a large bag of coins from him. He gestured to me. "She is all yours. Try not to treat her cruelly, old man."

The man, Jabez, nodded and laughed. "I would not dream of harming such a pretty little thing. Of course, if she disobeys, there will be punishment."

My eyes snapped from Jabez back to Asvald, praying he would say not to harm me. Asvald returned my stare, though he spoke to Jabez. "She is aware of that. I hope she is wise enough to avoid such discipline. But if that situation should arise, I'm sure it will be her own fault and she will have to bear whatever punishment you see fit."

He came to me and leaned close to whisper in my ear. "You are no longer my concern. You are nothing but a worthless slave to me."

I searched his eyes, pleading with him to protect me, even though I chose to leave his care.

"How dare you look in my eyes, thrall!" Asvald suddenly bellowed and I jumped, startled. I quickly lowered my eyes, my heart racing. "Remember your place, girl." With that, he turned and walked away.

Jabez called to me. "Come, girl. You have work to attend to."

"Sir, I must insist-" I started to speak but was interrupted by a sudden, stinging slap across my mouth. I cried out and lowered my head.

"Do not speak unless you are asked a question!" He scolded and I nodded, still keeping my head down. Humility was not a character at which I excelled. But I would learn. I would melt into a nothing, a mindless person with numbed emotions. Hopefully I would die young from the hard labor and my miserable life would be over.

Jabez led me into his longhouse, a dark, small, one-roomed building that stank of stale ale and roasted meat. A frail woman laid in a bed against the wall. She seemed quite ill.

"As you can see, my wife is dying. You will take over her duties, as well as help me with mine. You will milk the cows, churn the butter, cook the meals, weave and sew the clothes, and wash the clothes. You will also help me slaughter the animals when the time comes," he said firmly, commanding me.

I nodded, allowing my mind to go blank. I did not want to think of all the work in my future. What I wanted was blessed relief from this life. 

{}{}{}

The next morning I leaned over the fire, stirring a pot of porridge. My hands knew the motions, my mind wresting its way out of that awful longhouse.

Jabez sat by the fire and ate his food, bits of the porridge sticking in his beard. He did not offer me any of the food, and I knew it would be too bold to serve myself a bowl without his permission. My stomach grumbled but I ignored it, kneeling on the ground to grind more corn between two rocks, one long and flat, the other a little larger than my fist.

"Stupid thrall," Jabez growled and jumped to his feet. He towered over me and I resisted the urge to cower. "Put your back into it! You will take all day at that pace."

Gritting my teeth, I ground the corn faster and harder, a burning pain spreading through my shoulders and down my back.

The time dragged as I worked and I sang softly to myself to help it pass, hoping the sweet notes of my own voice would soothe me.

 _Is this really any better than being Asvald's wife?_ A voice inside me asked. I reasoned with myself. _I never said it would be better. It was simply the right choice._

Jabez's wife moaned and I glanced over my shoulder at her. She rested below a pile of blankets, so I could only see her face. Her skin appeared as pale as moonlight, her eyes silver and watery. She watched me, her lips moving like she wished to speak, but no words followed.

I rose and dusted the flour from my hands. The poor woman stirred compassion in my heart. Though I hated my current situation, dying was worse.

I brought her a cup of water and lifted it to her lips. She sighed and closed her eyes as she took a small sip.

Smiling, I gently squeezed her hand and returned to my task.

After several hours of work, the job was done. Jabez returned and commanded me to tend to the garden. More kneeling. Excellent. He walked away and I groaned as I headed outside to the garden growing alongside of the house. It was cluttered with weeds.

"You chose this," I whispered to myself and got to work, tugging up the weeds at the roots. Pain shot up my back as the already tired muscles strained.

Sweat trickled down my face despite the cool breeze. Dirt itched between my fingers and under my nails.

Thankfully a few hours later the sun began to sink into its bed behind the ocean, and I stopped pulling weeds.

Jabez came strolling down the path toward the longhouse, and I rushed inside. Quickly I washed the dirt from my hands and started chopping vegetables for the stew.

His form appeared in the doorway, but I knew better than to look up at him. I held my breath as he came to my side and dropped a rabbit carcass. "Skin it," he demanded.

My stomach turned and I tried to hide my disgust. I had never in my life skinned an animal. "Master..." I murmured, hoping he would allow me to speak if I addressed him with respect. "I cannot skin this rabbit."

"You are useless. You are a waste of my silver!" he shouted and I braced for a blow, but it didn't come. Instead he snatched the rabbit and stormed out the door.

I breathed a sigh and steadied my hands before continuing to chop the vegetables. Is this what the rest of my life would consist of? Grinding corn, pulling weeds, and chopping cabbage? I sighed, and allowed myself to go numb.

He returned a few minutes later with a skinned rabbit and dropped it in my lap. I gasped as blood seeped into my only dress. But I simply lifted my knife and cut up the meat.

{}{}{}

Several days dragged by, with the same exhausting chores that began before the sun rose and after it set. I couldn't live like this any longer. Yes, if I chose to stay with Asvald, I would have had to let my family go. But I realized as I laid in bed one night that my family would mourn to see me living the life of a thrall. They would be happier if I tried to make the best of my life with Asvald.

So I made up my mind. I would go back to Asvald and plead with him to take me as his wife again.

I opened my eyes and glanced at where Jabez slept. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Slowly I got to my feet and slipped out of the longhouse, too nervous to breathe.

The night air filled my lungs and for the first time in days, I felt truly alive. My heart raced as I glanced around. I couldn't be caught. It might cost me my life.

Without lingering, I headed swiftly toward Asvald's home.

"Slave girl!" A voice called harshly and I stopped dead in my tracts, cringing. Slowly I turned around my head down.

A man's feet approached me and a strong hand clamped down on my arm. He dragged me back toward Jabez's longhouse and I did little to resist him. I would be whipped, perhaps even killed.

"Wake up, Jabez!" The man bellowed as he thrust me into the house. I covered my face with my hands, trying not to sob.

"What is Thor's name is going on?" He jumped up from his bed, and I peeked at him through my fingers.

The man who found me smirked and pushed me toward my master. "I found her out wandering about. If I were you, I'd beat the skin right off her back." He nodded and slipped back into the night.

Jabez circled me like a hawk. I could feel the anger in the air between us. I kept my eyes on my feet.

"Get on your knees," he growled.

I shook my head and my shoulders began to shake. "Please, no."

"You dare speak to me!" He roared and shoved me until I fell forward onto my knees. I bit my lip and tried to prepare myself as I heard him grab his belt.

"Take off your dress," he commanded in a low voice.

I obeyed, then curled into myself, hiding most of my body, but baring my back.

The belt came down. My eyes opened wide and I gasped.

{}

Jabez refused to let me rest and heal, so the next morning I went about with an oozing back, and every move sent pain searing through me.

"Go to the docks for some fish," Jabez told me and placed a basket in my arms. Nodding, I headed out the door as quickly as possible.

As I walked through the village toward the docks, I felt the scabs on my back cracking and blood dripping from the deep wounds. Last night Jabez had beat me with his belt till I was barely consciousness. I was amazed I was even able to stand, much less walk.

I lifted my eyes as I approached the docks, and my steps faltered when I saw Asvald standing on the rocks, speaking with his father. I glanced over my shoulder. Perhaps I should just turn and head back to the house. But if I returned to the longhouse without the fish, another beating was sure to ensue.

Taking a deep breath, I grasped the basket closer and continued onto the docks. Asvald's eyes met mine and it took me a moment before I lowered them.

While buying the fish, I felt his eyes on me. I longed for him, to be held in his embrace while falling asleep. Perhaps I had been too stubborn for my own good.  
The coin purse slipped from my hands and out of reflex I bent at the waist to catch it. A scream tore out of my mouth as I felt my wounds rip open again.

Asvald was at my side in an instant. "Eachna, what is it?"

It the first time I'd heard my name in days. The pain blurred my vision and I swayed on my feet. "My back," I sighed and slowly tried to straighten up.

He glanced at my back, at the blood soaking through the thin fabric of my dress. "Jabez did this to you. Why?" He took my arm, letting me lean on him.

I lowered my head. "I simply disobeyed him. Why are you even speaking to me?"

"You are hurt," he murmured, his voice soft like a caress.

I lifted my eyes to his and glared at him through my tears. "I am a thrall."

His eyes filled with sadness and he pulled away from me. "Go about your work, then. After all, you chose those wounds for yourself." He walked away without looking back.

A sob built in my chest but I could never release it. I was property, and property did not have feelings.

{}{}{}

Throughout the next endless days, I worked steadily on and the wounds on my back healed, turning from ugly caterpillars of pain into butterflies of remembered wounds.

My master stopped calling me "girl" and instead referred to me as "it." I never spoke aloud except to answer with a "yes master." I felt my identity slip away and left in its place a hardworking, lacking of thoughts. My only motivation was avoiding the bite of the belt.

I found comfort in caring for his mute and dying wife, who alone offered me comfort with a squeeze of her hand or a kind glance.  
But the sad day came when her body went cold and her soul embraced death. Selfishly I wished she had lived longer, but inside I felt relief at the end of her suffering.

It was my job to prepare her body for burial and never will I forget the chilling feeling of touching the shell of someone's life.

Thankfully I slept soundly that night, at least until I was awake with a rough shake. A scream escaped my lips when I realized what I was face to face with, so to speak.

Jabez knelt over me, his manhood free from his pants and far too close to my face. It grew larger with each passing second as Jabez stroked himself. "Open your mouth, thrall."

I hesitated a moment. It came down to taking him in my mouth, or taking the belt again. The belt would be heaven compared to having his filthy cock down my throat. I covered my mouth with my hand, knowing he would try to force it in if I tried to talk. So I spoke through my hand. "Put that thing in here and I will bite it right off," my voice was a rough, low growl, dusty from lack of use.

It was too dark to see Jabez's face but I could hear the sneer in his voice. "You would never dare."

I removed my hand from my mouth and spoke loud and clear, despite the pounding of my heart. I almost wanted to thank him for making me feel alive for the first time in many days. Finally I would feel my heart inside me.  
"Do it, see what happens," I threatened.

Jabez growled and tucked away his member, and sprang off of me. I didn't allow myself to feel the relief though. He was only going to fetch his belt.

"Strip and roll over," he commanded and I quickly obeyed, biting down on my pillow as my master knelt beside me. A crack sounded in the air and pain burst down my back and spread throughout my whole body. A moan left me and I trembled. _Crack._ White hot pain seared my skin and blood trickled down, staining the blankets on my pallet.

 _Crack._ A scream. Skin split. Blood. _Crack._ Light splashed across my closed eyelids. _Crack._ My head started to spin. _Crack._ "You will not break me," I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oh, yes I will," he growled.

 _Crack._ Kill me, let me die. It would be a mercy. _Crack._ Blackness.

{}

I didn't know how much time had passed since I passed out, but I was thankful my master ignored me and allowed me to stay of my pallet. Throbbing pain ate away at my back.

What a mistake I made, choosing this life over being Asvald's wife. I made up my mind. That night I would find my way back to Asvald's bed.

… _ **.**_

I waited for my master to fall asleep, and when he did, I slipped out into the darkness.

My heart pounded fiercely and my back ached and burned, but I ignored it. To my relief, I soon found myself at the doorway of Asvald's home. I entered before I could be seen. The house smelled more like home to me than I ever thought possible, and I felt tears sting my eyes. There had been little comfort in the last few days, and I longed for it now. I smiled upon the sleeping faces of Groa and Bork, and of Asvald's siblings. But they were not the ones I wanted to see.

Quietly, I opened the door to Asvald's room and shut it behind me. His sleeping form huddled under the blankets, and I could hear his soft breathing. Good God, how could I have missed him so?

I crawled onto the bed beside him, wincing. With a shaking hand, I touched his hair. I lowered my head and brushed his parted lips with my own. "Wake, Asvald."

He groaned and stirred. Slowly his eyes opened and he jumped a little. "Eachna? What are you doing here?"

Instead of answering, I took his head in my hands and kissed him, this time with passion. His hand went to the back of my neck and he returned my kiss.

When our lips parted, I answered, "I cannot stay with that man. You must buy me back."

He looked confused for a moment and passed a hand over his eyes, sitting up. "You chose being a thrall over being my wife."

I nodded and decided on the bold move of straddling his lap, my hands on his shoulders as I gazed intensely into his eyes. "I cannot live like that any longer. Please help me."

He narrowed his eyes. "I am sorry that your master beats you, but that is the life you decided on. The only reason you want to come back to me is because you now know how awful the life of a slave is."

I groaned in frustration and squeezed his shoulders. "No, I made the wrong choice. Please, Asvald." I moved off of him and peeled off my dress, wincing as I had to tear it off my back because the dried blood made it stick. I turned my back to him and pointed to it. "Look at this. How can you be so cruel as to make me return to the man who did this?"

Asvald sighed and touched his fingertip to a bruise on my back. It was gentle enough that it didn't hurt. "Oh, Eachna. But how could I be so cruel as to allow you to return to the man who stole you from your family?"

His words sunk in and I realized how wrong I was to come here. He would not save me, not after everything I had said to him. "Forget this happened," I whispered and grabbed my dress. "I was wrong to think you would still want me."

Asvald grabbed my arm and stopped me from dressing again. "I never said that. But listen to me, Eachna." He paused and grasped my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "If I buy your freedom and you become my wife again, you have to do it for the right reasons. Because you want to make a new life with me, not because you want to escape thralldom."

I nodded. "Let's start a new life together," I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I mean it."

He grinned and spoke the word I longed to hear. "Yes."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Asvald spoke to the witnesses and they declared that our divorce was void on grounds of improper reasoning. I didn't quite understand what that meant, but I did know it meant that I was once again Asvald's wife. He also went and bought me from Jabez at the price of ten sheep and a barrel of ale.

He told me the news after I woke up in his bed. He'd gone to the witnesses in the early morning hours while I still slept.

After a kiss of celebration, Asvald's hands went to the collar that was still around my neck. "This must go." He unbuckled it and tossed it away, then carefully lifted the filthy thrall dress over my head, bearing my just as filthy body to him.

"I do believe you need a bath," he teased me, pinching his nose.

I slapped his wrist, though I couldn't help but laugh, too. "Your bed is so comfortable and I do not wish to move."

"Let me see your back," he spoke gently now, his eyes holding sorrow.

Nodding, I rolled onto my stomach. "How bad is it? As bad as it feels?" When he didn't answer, I looked over my shoulder at him. "Asvald?"

His face did not mask his horror. With a trembling hand, he trailed a finger over the scabbed wounds and the deep purple bruises. "This will leave scars, Eachna."

"I know," I whispered and rested my chin on my hands. Little did Asvald know, but scars were not new to me.

"Hold on, I will bring warm water and a rag to wash you off." He disappeared for a few minutes, before reappearing with the items.

First he gently wiped at the blood on my back. It felt good to have the stickiness wiped away. I shivered at the sensation.

"I hate seeing you this way," he murmured, rinsing out the rag. The water in the bowl turned pink.

I shrugged my shoulders and regretted it as pain split across my back. "I'll be fine," I hissed through my teeth.

He was silent as he wiped away the rest of the blood, and the dirt and sweat off my body. After that he gave me one of my dresses back and I carefully dressed, with cautious movements.

"Now you look like my wife again," he murmured and kissed my cheek. "Except for your short hair.

I winced. "Please don't ever speak of my hair again until it has grown back out."

He laughed softly and cupped my face in his hands. "Your wish is my command, _kone."_

{}

I rested and let my back heal, helping Groa with the easier chores while my back healed. The pain was at its worst at night, and I often woke with cries of distress. Asvald would pull me into his arms and soothe me back into sleep.

The scabs turned into scars, and soon the wounds were only pink stripes on my back that reminded me to always be grateful for what I had with Asvald. My anger started slipping away, like my spirit was healing along with my back.

Since my back was healed and my body restored, I decided one morning that I would begin my life with Asvald, as soon as possible. Whether I'd regret it or not, it hardly mattered.

I walked through the village till I found Asvald riding his horse toward the beach. He smiled and halted his horse when he saw me. _"Kone_! What do you need?"

My heart raced and I licked my lips. My mouth had gone dry. Before I could let this man take me, I had other scars to show him, ones that could never be seen by the eyes.

"I wish to speak to you." My voice shook and I folded my hands to stop them from trembling.

He quickly dismounted and came to stand in front of me. His long hair moved with the breeze. I couldn't deny it any longer; he was handsome. Not only handsome, but he was mine.

"Go ahead." He smiled and lightly touched my arm. The simplest touch put me on edge.

I motioned back to the house. "Privately, if you do not mind."

"Of course." He nodded and together we walked toward the longhouse. "Are you well?"

"Quite," I answered. "I feel there is something I need to tell you."

We entered the longhouse and went into Asvald's room, shutting the door behind us.

Asvald sat on the bed and looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak. His eyes held curiosity, but my stomach twisted and suddenly I didn't wish to tell him anymore.

I paced the room, back and forth, tugging at my braid. How was to word the first sentence? My lips felt stuck together, my throat tight.

Asvald spoke first. "Are you trying to tell me that you aren't a virgin? That Jabez raped you while you were his slave?" He paused and curled his hands into fists. "Because if that is the case, I swear I will kill him."

I shook my head and placed my hand on his shoulder. "No, no. He did not." I thought for a moment about Jabez trying to force his manhood in my mouth. But that wasn't important. Nothing happened.

Asvald reached up and took my face in his hands, his eyes intense as they focused on mine. "Tell me what is troubling you. If you are going to pace the room all day, I'm going back to work."

"My back is healed and I want to be your wife in every way. I suppose this is my life now and I should at least try to be happy. But before we can do that, I need to tell you something." I paused and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. It was still painful for me to remember, much less talk about.

"Speak, _kone_ ," Asvald said roughly and pulled me down so I was sitting beside him on the bed. "Just begin, the rest will follow."

"My father and I, we have never gotten along," I murmured, feeling my heart pick up speed already.

"You never speak of him." He glanced at me, sadness in his eyes like he knew what I was going to say.

I lowered my head and toed a ball of dust on the floor. "There is a reason for that. When my sister and I were young, my father liked to see us naked." I bit down on my lower lip.

Asvald went still beside me, his hands clenched on his knees. "Go on." He growled.

"My mother would go to the market once a week and sell vegetables. She would be gone all day along. On those days, my father would make us strip for him, and tidy the house and do the washing without our clothes."

Asvald stood to his feet, his back to me. "That sick bastard! _Jeg vil drepe drittsekken! Hvordan kunne en mann behandle datteren slik? Kona fattige, kjære søte._ " He switched from Irish into Norse and began to rant so I couldn't understand him.

"Asvald, calm down," I hissed. "You are not making this any easier."

He took a deep breath and faced me. "I am sorry. Continue your story, please."

I nodded. "He often called us names, like whore, or harlot. My sister, mostly."

Asvald pressed his fist to his forehead and clenched his teeth. But this time he didn't speak.

"I trusted him, so I did not think anything was wrong," I whispered, but at least there were no tears in my eyes. I had wasted enough tears on my father.

"How long did he do that? And did he ever touch you?" His lips were the only part of him that moved. He stayed frozen in place.

"He did it until I was about ten years of age. When my body started changing, and I was starting to become a woman, I started to feel shy and I told him I wouldn't take off my clothes. He pressed me to do it, but I resisted. He never made me do it again after that."

"Did he touch you?" Asvald asked again, only slower and more firmly. Finally he met my gaze again.

I tugged on my braid and bit down on my lip. "Sometimes he would bathe me, even when I was old enough to bathe myself. Then he would help dry me off and his hand would go between my legs."

Asvald growled and spun around, swinging his fist into the wall and cracking the wood. I jumped and cowered for a moment before straightening again.

"I will return to Ireland and I will make him suffer for this," he growled, leaning against the wall. His eyes were dark, fierce enough to scare me. "He is a sick bastard!"

My chest heaved as I fought to keep my breathing even. I would not cry, not now, not ever again. Not for my father. "You will not kill him," I said firmly and stood shakily and approached him carefully. "I forgave him, but I wanted you to know why I do not trust men."

Asvald sighed and reached out to me, his anger fleeting. I was glad that for once it was not directed at me.

"My poor _kone,_ " he murmured and kissed the top of my head as he brought me to my chest. "I am so sorry. The men in your life have not treated you the way you deserve. Including me. Our love has not been what it should be."

I heard his heart thumping under my ear. The sound comforted me. Lifting my chin, I peered up at him with pleading eyes. "Show me what real love is, how a man should love a woman."

Asvald lowered his chin so our faces were intimately close. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I intend to." Our breath mingled in the short distance between our mouths and my gaze lowered to his lips.

He drew me up to him so our lips connected, and I felt pleasure down to my toes at the contact. He kissed me tenderly and released me after not too long. He smiled and trailed his thumb along my jaw. "Tonight I wish to make love to you."

My stomach clenched and I lowered my head, though I felt a yearning for him deep in my belly. "I want that too, but may we talk about something first?"

He looked slightly irritated and I knew he was tired of all the talking. But my concerns needed to be soothed.

"I want to make a new life with you." I placed my hands on his chest and smiled softly at him. "But there is a part of me that still dreams of going home one day and seeing my family again."

He groaned and swatted my hands away. I didn't let him. "Wait," I continued. "I think that part of me will always be there, no matter how much I may come to love you."

"Eachna," he hissed, "I want to understand you, but sometimes you make it very _jævla_ difficult."

I ignored his Norse word and tried to explain myself more. "When you...release your seed inside me, there is always a chance I will become with child. If I have your child, I will be bond to you for the rest of my life and I am sorry, but that is still hard for me to accept." My face burned and I hoped he would not push me away.

Instead he shook his head. "You are my _kone_. I will do my best to understand you and your feelings even if it makes no sense to me. After all, you are a woman and men do not often understand how a woman thinks." He paused. "There is nothing I can do or say, except that you will have to come to terms with yourself when you have my child."

I nodded. "But I was thinking that tonight, when you bed me, you could...pull out and spill on my stomach instead, so we do not have to think about a child for a while yet." The words felt heavy in my mouth and I tried to fight my embarrassment. After all, we would be saying much more intimate things to each other in a matter of a few hours.

Asvald chuckled and shook his head. "No. Not a chance, sly one. I will always finish inside you."

My face flushed and I lightly smacked his chest. "We shall see about that." I raised an eyebrow and marched out of the room, relief flooding me when I stepped outside and the warm sun landed on my face and the cool breeze refreshed me. I felt like a burden had lifted from my shoulders. My secret was no longer a secret, and I could truly move on.

Halla had married not long ago, and seemed to float on a cloud of happiness, so I headed to her new home to spend the day with her before I had to spend the night with Asvald.

She smiled excitedly when she saw me and threw her arms around me. We still couldn't communicate well, because she didn't speak Irish and I still didn't know enough Norse to carry on a conversation.

She gestured for me to sit by the fire so I did, holding my hands out to the flames. Her eyebrows raised and she smiled at me.

I wanted to tell her what was going on with me, so I went to the bed and smoothed my hand over it and grinned at her. She seemed confused.

"Hmm," I murmured and thought for a moment, then made my hand into a fist and stuffed my finger in and out of the hole in my fist, mimicking sex.

She threw her head back and laughed, slapping her hand on her thigh. She said something in Norse and shook her head.

I came to sit beside her again and glanced at her with worried eyes, hoping she would understand my nervousness.

Her eyes sparkled and she raised her fist to her mouth and kissed her thumb and the side of her hand. She kissed it again and again, making me giggle. She removed her hand and sighed as if in pleasure, then made a rolling motion with her hand, as if saying to continue.

Perhaps she was telling me that once the kissing starts, the rest would follow? At least, that's what I hoped she was trying to say.

I stayed with her until dinner time neared. But before I left, she ladled some kind of tea into a cup and handed it to me. She pointed to the bed and made a motion with her hand like she was drinking something.

"Drink before bed," I murmured to myself, glancing down at the yellowish liquid in the cup.

Halla shrugged and kissed my cheek. " _Takk,_ " I thanked her in Norse, one of the few things I knew how to say.

" _Ingen årsak_ ," she answered as I slipped out the door.

As I crossed over to Asvald's home, my stomach whirled with the excitement of what I knew was coming. I was grateful that no fear tortured my mind, and I was able to numb the guilt that pricked at me.

Asvald grinned when I entered the room, and he gestured for me to come to him. I playfully stuck my tongue out at him and headed through the busy and crowded living space. Thord and Ulf shrieked as they played, running around and getting under Groa's feet, who then loudly scolded them.

But I only had eyes for my husband as he pulled me into his arms and let his hands slide down to my arse. My heart responded to his touch and my lips parted as I stared up at him.

He took the cup of tea from my hands and looked down at it. "What is this? Where have you been?"

"It's tea. Your sister made it for me," I answered, disappointed that his hands had left my backside.

He frowned and sniffed it, which was then followed with a slow grin. "Dear Halla. This is a relaxant tea." His eyes met mine, his lips curled in a devilish smirk that made me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

I reached for the cup of tea but he lifted it above my head and out of my reach.

"Asvald!" I protested and stood on my tiptoes, yet I still couldn't get to it. "Let me have it!"

He shook his head and grinned down at me with mischief written all over his expression. "I want a lively wife in my bed tonight, not a sleepy slug." He tilted the cup and quirked an eyebrow.

"Don't you dare," I hissed. I needed that tea. Just being this close to Asvald set me on edge. We weren't even naked yet, for heaven's sake!

He laughed and handed me the tea. "But only because it is the first time for you."

I nodded my thanks and quickly gulped down the thin, sweet tea.

Asvald brought me closer again and took the cup from my hand, tossing it across the room. His family glanced at us. But when they saw how close our bodies were, they were quick to turn away.

Dipping his head down, he tasted my lips, and when his tongue parted my lips, he tasted my mouth.

I trembled as my body responded to his actions. "Take me to bed now," I murmured against his mouth, amazed at how foggy my head felt.

He grunted and lifted my legs so they wrapped around his waist and I clung to him as he carried me into his room and kicked the door shut behind us. Lying us down on the bed, he continued to kiss me passionately, stirring into mindless desire.

The tea worked its magic as I felt the tenseness in my muscles ease away, my eyelids feeling heavy as I watched Asvald pull his shirt over his head and slip out of the leggings he wore underneath.

Even the sight of his erect manhood didn't frighten me. Instead I let him guide my hand there, let him teach me how to caress a man's body.

My heart skipped a beat when my touch drew a moan from his lips. An ache formed and intensified between my legs. The power I had over him was sweet indeed.

Finally, he pushed my head away and yanked my dress roughly over my head and tossed it away, his hands sliding over my hips, up my sides, until they covered my small, handful-sized breasts.

"Do you like them?" I asked ever so quietly, biting down on my lower lip and peering at him from beneath my heavy eyelids.

He lifted his head, his eyes intense in a way that should have scared me. "I love them," he said huskily and gently gave my breasts a squeeze. "Perfect," he murmured almost to himself and lowered his head, taking one pink tip between his lips.

I gasped at the strange sensation, panting as he sucked, my hand clutching his hair. A little cry escaped me as he did the same to the other breast. Why had I resisted all this time? His mouth was pure heaven. _You hated him_ , I reminded myself but promptly swept the annoying thought away.

The muscles of my stomach tightened as his mouth moved slowly, his tongue circling my navel. A moan passed my lips and I hardly cared.

"Asvald," I whispered, and felt him grin against my skin. He kissed right above my mound, his hands gripping my hips tightly.

Never in my life had I felt so breathless and flushed and desperate. "Asvald," I whimpered again, my legs parting by instinct.

His mouth returned to my neck and he kissed the soft skin there as his hands brushed my private curls, stealing my breath away.

His fingers dipped lower and I groaned into his shoulder, clutching the blankets in my hands. "Holy hell," I moaned and pressed myself into his hand, feeling no shame.

"Do you like that?" he asked, lifting his head to stare down into my eyes. I nodded and closed my eyes, soaking in the delightful pleasure of his touch.

"I want to hear you say it," he murmured in my ear, his voice nearly a growl.

Though I felt a pang of embarrassment, I was too caught up in the moment to ponder it for long. "It feels nice."

"Are you ready? I need to be inside you," he groaned. "Now."

My mind cleared as realization hit me, and my stomach clenched. "Asvald..."

He grunted in response, his head tucked in my neck, his lips placing soft, wet kisses there.

It felt foolish to wish for comfort, I was hardly a child. But Asvald seemed to know what I needed without any hint from me. He curled his arms around me and nuzzled my hair, his breath tickling my scalp, though he didn't speak.

One arm slid under my knee and he lifted my leg onto his hip, allowing himself to slip right between my thighs. When my leg was curled around him, he used that hand to reach down between us. I lifted myself on my elbows and tried to peek down at what he was doing.

"Lie back," he commanded without looking up at me.

My body shook strongly, and I didn't have the control to stop it, so I lay back and closed my eyes, feeling only his powerful body against me.

The tip of his manhood entered me and I gasped, my hands locking down on his arms, but I kept my eyes squeezed shut. My heart beat fast as a bird's inside my chest.

"Relax," he murmured, and shifted forward, moving deeper inside of me just as he caught my earlobe between his teeth.

"Ah," I breathed as I felt him inside me, the strange sensation making my heartbeat faster as Asvald lifted his head and gazed into my eyes, his jaw slack with pleasure.

In answer to my response, he brought his hips forward into me again, the start of a steady rhythm. Asvald's scent soothed me, the same smell on his pillow that comforted me while I cried. I let out a little cry when he moved a bit faster, pleasure replacing the ache.

He grinned and tugged lightly at my hair. "Is this as horrible as you thought, feisty one?"

I blushed and rolled my eyes, tightening my legs around him. "It had more to do with the fact of me hating you, rather than any pain I might feel in your arms."

With the last word of my sentence, he gave a strong thrust and made me moan. He bit down on his lower lip and huffed, his hips beginning to move faster yet.

I felt my heart would burst out of my chest, the excitement and the friction almost more than I could bear.

"I'm nearly finished," he groaned in my ear, his breath hot and quick. "You are so damn tight."

His passionate words sent a spark of pleasure through me, and I let out a loud moan when he touched me again, between my thighs on that special bud that sent me into a heated frenzy.

The groans continued in my ear, the thrusting of his hips lunging and almost rough as he sought his release, he rubbed the little bud even faster.

Tightness formed in my chest and I pushed my hips downward into the bed, my back arching as the beautiful heat moved up from my lower belly and exploded in my chest. I lost myself in the feeling, and left all care behind except for the desire for release. I found myself biting down painfully on my lower lip to stop myself from screaming as the release hit, leaving me trembling and weak, unable to move. Somewhere in that haze, I heard Asvald give a shout and hot wetness filling me.

He pulled out, drawing out a gasp from me, and flopped down on the bed. Beads of sweat covered his forehead, his face flushed like a child with a fever. My own chest shone with sweat, shimming as it rose and fell with every breath.

When I felt like I could move again, I rolled onto my side to face Asvald. Embarrassment teased at me, but I did my best to set it aside. He also rolled onto his side, his hand stretching out to caress my cheek.

His lips parted as he started to speak, then closed again. Instead he brought me to his chest and pressed his cheek to the top of my head.

I could hear the thudding of his heart under my ear; it was such a beautiful sound. The sound of life. I giggled as I found myself thinking, he really is human, not a devil.

" _Min kone._ " he sighed and gave me a squeeze. "I'm suddenly starving." He flashed me his charming grin and pulled on his pants. "Care to join me for something to eat?"

His causal attitude somehow put me at ease and I climbed carefully out of bed, feeling a little unsteady on my feet. Asvald tossed me my dress and helped me tug it down over my head. Once it was on, he wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me closer to him.

"Thank you for allowing me in your bed, Eachna," he whispered tenderly, his eyes closed as he brushed his nose against mine.

I flushed red and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Aye...well...I was getting tired of fighting you off."

The fire was still blazing in the main room, Asvald's family still talking around the fire and the little ones playing quietly in a corner. A kitten squirmed in Thord's tight hold, and Ulf laughed while patting its head.

Bork gave Asvald a knowing look and Groa smiled softly at me, her gentle eyes telling me that she knew exactly what had just happened between me and her son.

We ignored their curious glances and sat by the fire, where two plates of food waited for us. Asvald handed me one, then settled the other on his knee. He brought his head close to mine so we could whisper.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded slightly and lifted a piece of chicken to my mouth. I'd never felt so hungry in my life. A sudden realization occurred to me and I gasped, then coughed as I choked on my food.

Asvald pounded on my back. "You alright there, love?"

My eyes watered and I gripped my knees tightly, until I could breathe normally again. "Asvald, you forgot to..." I was speaking loudly, so I lowered my voice and leaned close to him. "You forgot to spill on my stomach!"

He smirked at me, his eyes full of mischief. "I believe I told you that I would always finish inside you, _kone._ "

I fought my irritation and instead focused on finishing my meal. Of course Asvald wouldn't listen to my wishes. He never did. If I had a child taking root inside me...I knew not what I would do. I pressed a hand to my stomach, suddenly feeling sick.

"I need to lie down," I murmured to Asvald without meeting his gaze and slipped back into his bedroom.

He followed after me and slipped out of his pants as I crawled under the blankets.

"Don't you want to take off your dress?" He asked as I laid my head down on the pillow, stomach down.

"No," I grunted and closed my eyes, fighting a feeling a panic. What had I done? Asvald had finally seduced me and I went to bed with him, my mind muddled so badly that I hadn't thought through what I was doing. I bit down hard on my lower lip.

"Please don't be angry with me," he whispered and kissed my shoulder through my dress. His hand rested on my hip, caressing gently.

I used my elbow to push his hand away. "Let me sleep, I will be in a better mood tomorrow, I'm sure."

Instead of arguing with me, he sighed and faced the opposite way. It wasn't long before I heard gentle snores.

On an impulse, I got out of bed and pinned on my cloak. _Where are you going?_ I asked myself, but I didn't have an answer.

I slipped out into the main room and grabbed a satchel, filled it with apples and bread, and stuffed a blanket in there as well.

Carefully and slowly, I tiptoed through the village until I reached the river. "Just a little walk," I whispered to myself, shaking off my fear of the dark, and the strange noises that echoed around me. The hoot of an owl, the distant cry of a wolf. Other sounds I could not place.

Fog rose off the river. I stood still. Finally I chose to head the opposite direction than I had went last time I tried to escape. I would just follow the river and see where it takes me.

But as I walked, deeper into the forest and further away from the village, I soon regretted my rash decision. Never in my life had I felt so lost, in more ways than one.

An ache still lingered between my legs, reminding me of my lost innocence.

The silver moon cast a silver light on the river's water, and on the leaves of the trees, rattling in a most disconcerting way.

 _Danger,_ the breeze seemed to whisper to me. _Turn around._

"I want to go home," I whimpered in response. "Ireland is my home."

The ground was soft below my feet, making each step a struggling effort not to slip, but I feared straying too far from the river.

The river of silver was my guide, its roar comforting me. If a danger approached me, my moon-lit escort would surely swallow it up.

The damp earth soon soaked through my elk skin shoes and my cloak felt thin as air. My toes went numb and I trembled as I walked faster, hoping to build up the heat inside me.

At last I couldn't walk any longer, so I settled beneath a tree and pulled out my blanket, using it with my cloak to keep me warm. Unfortunately, it is extremely hard to fall asleep in a strange dark forest all alone with only the ground, a tree trunk, and a single blanket for a bed.

Sleep avoided me for what seemed like hours, until my eyes closed and didn't open again.

 **...**

The sun was just rising about the mountains when I awoke, filling the sky with soft pink. A smile appeared on my face as the light warmed me and gave me a sense of protection.

After a breakfast of half an apple and a chunk of bread, I kept walking along the rushing river, even singing a jaunty Irish Gaelic tune to myself.

But as it got closer to midday, the roar of the river intensified, and quite suddenly, the river ended abruptly in a steep waterfall in the face of a tall mountain.

Somehow in the night, I hadn't realized that I was headed right for a mountain, which completely blocked my path.

"Damn it to hell!" I shrieked and fell to the ground in a tired heap. As much as I didn't want to admit it, with no river to follow, and no protection against anything in the woods or any knowledge on how to navigate them, I could have to turn back and return to the village. Perhaps I knew that all along.

I cradled my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. Asvald would kill me. He'd beat me within an inch of my life if I returned to him now. Of maybe he would have mercy on me since I decided to come back on my own.

Well, it was decided. I would have to go back. But why rush?

I laid in the grass and let my feet dangle in the cold water of the river, letting fish nibble my toes while I munched on a sweet, crunchy apple. Clouds drifted lazily across the gray-blue sky, and I sighed happily at my first taste of freedom in what seemed like so long.

I tossed the apple core into the river and slowly got to my feet again. I had to face my punishment sometime.

It took the rest of the day and another whole night of walking before I reached the village again in the early morning light.

The villagers were just beginning to immerge from their houses, and when they caught sight of me, a few of them ran off somewhere, probably to alert Asvald of my presence.

I sighed and straightened my spine. "Prepare yourself," I murmured under my breath and walked with heavy feet toward my doom.

But when I arrived at the longhouse, Asvald wasn't home. Groa welcomed me with a fuss, and Asvald's siblings crushed me in their embraces, but then Groa scolded me as she set me in front of the fire and gave me a plate of roasted meat and vegetables.

A shadow blocked out the light from the doorway and I slowly looked up to see Asvald standing there, his eyes hard and angry. He had been gentle with me before I chose to run away. My decision was so foolish. It would take me forever to gain his trust back.

"Asvald," I said softly, my throat feeling tight. A light sweat broke out on my palms and I wiped them on my dress. "I am sorry."

Silently he sat across the fire from me, staring at me without speaking. The room was hushed, even the little ones sensing the tension. Groa quickly herded the children out of the longhouse, leaving me alone with my very foul tempered husband.

I folded my hands in my lap, though I couldn't sit still, my knee bouncing up and down. "Are you going to hurt me?"

He slowly stood and came to my side, curling his hand around my arm. His grip tightened to the point of pain. "Depends on if you consider embarrassment to be pain."

Before I had a chance to consider his words, he dragged me out into the center of the village, which only meant one thing. He intended to summon a crowd.

"Asvald, please, whatever you are thinking, don't do it!" I begged me, and went weak at the knees.

He pulled me upright again and growled in my ear. "You should not have run away."

All the blood in my body seemed to rush down to my feet and left me feeling lightheaded and nervous.

A good crowd at formed now and Asvald began to speak. "As you all know, my wife Eachna decided to run away two nights ago, and she also decided to return again. But, she must still face her punishment."

He shoved me down onto my knees and tilted my chin up. "I tried to change for you, _kone._ I have tried to control my temper, and show you gentleness and care, but in return you spat in my face."

Tears welled in my eyes and I hung my head in shame, amazed at how deeply his words stung. "I'm sorry, Asvald. I stopped thinking and when I realized what I had done, it was too late. Please forgive me. I made a mockery of your love and that was unfair of me." The words were sincere, and heart-felt.

Something in him shifted, and I glanced at the crowd. The people were holding their breath, waiting to see what Asvald would do to me. I recognized many of the faces, faces of people that I was beginning to think of as my friends.

I heard the creak of his knees as he knelt in front of me and lifted my chin with his knuckle. Tears mixed with snot smeared my face, and my eyes must have been swollen and red.

"I was going to make you do something utterly demeaning in front of all these people, but instead I will give you a less harsh form of humiliation."

Again he rose to his feet and I stayed on my knees, though my leg muscles began to tingle sharply and my knees ached from the small stones beneath them.

"Go gather your rotten food and return quickly. Pelt her with it, and we shall be done with all of this," Asvald commanded, and the crowd burst into an energetic buzz, rushing to do as he said.

Groaning, I covered my face with my hands. How disgusting! But I suppose it was better than what I thought had been coming.

The crowd gathered again and I was glad I covered my face when mushy apples and other vegetables rained down on me, splattering against my body and coating my hair with rotten mush. They laughed and jeered at me, and I knew it would take me a long time to earn back their respect.

Thankfully, the food-throwing didn't last long and the people wandered away, leaving me smelling and looking like a garbage heap.

Asvald lifted me to my feet by my elbows, though he kept me at arm's length. "You are certainly a sight, Eachna."

I spit out a chunk of rotten carrot that had somehow made its way into my mouth. A feisty response came to me but I choked it down, not wishing to evoke any more punishment.

Groa joined us, her footsteps crunching softly as she carefully approached. "Best get you cleaned up," she murmured and took my hand, leading me away from Asvald.

I hurried after her, leaving globs of mush in my wake.

. **…**

Asvald and I avoided each other for the next few days; I was miserable and sorry, if not a bit ashamed, and he was still angry and hurt. I couldn't even look at him, couldn't be contented in his presence. He didn't smile, and stopped speaking to me. My heart always felt heavy and painful within me. Never in my life had I felt as alone as I did now.

We lived as two different people in the same longhouse as the weeks rolled by. Asvald would give me a kiss in the morning and thank me for the meal, and wouldn't return until the sun started to set. After I finished all my chores, I would spend my time roaming the woods and shore, or with Groa and her children.  
Several weeks after the whole food-throwing event, I asked Asvald,

"Can't I go home? What kind of life is this?"

He looked at me with sad eyes and sighed. "You cannot go home."

I groaned in frustration and rubbed my eyes. "That is your pride speaking, not your love for me. If you truly loved me, you'd allow me to return to my family."

He took my hand. "I am your family."

I shook my head and yanked my hand away, ready to walk away. "You never listen. You do not understand what this is like for me."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, you stubborn woman. I will give you a choice. Stay with me and start a family, or I'll take you home to Ireland and you'll never hear of me again. It's your choice."

My heart skipped a beat and I opened my mouth to say I wanted to go home, then hesitated. Asvald was my husband, I'd given myself to him, and now I wasn't sure if I could leave him. My eyes met his blue ones, filling with tears.

He smiled and gently touched my cheek. "See? You're so loyal, you will never leave."`

"Asvald…" I started, fighting too many emotions to understand fully how I felt. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against mine.

"Let me show you all I have to offer," he murmured against my lips. The tears that had gathered in my eyes fell down my cheeks, and off my chin.

I nodded and cupped his face in my hands. He pulled back and kissed away my tears, running his lips tenderly along my jaw. Shivering, I moved closer to him, my body pressed into his.

"Ireland is my home," I whispered, more tears falling.

"Home is where your heart is," Asvald murmured, and together we knelt onto our furs, his kiss gentle and loving. My heart was beating fast, and though Asvald was trying to comfort me, I could do nothing to stop my sobbing. Laying me back, he leaned over me, propped up on his elbow.

"Hush, don't cry," he said softly, his sweet side showing. I smiled through my tears and wiped them away.

My choices rolled around in my mind, between my family and Asvald. My family seemed like the obvious choice, but with Asvald smiling down at me, his hands caressing me; it wasn't easy to decide to give that up. I didn't want to give up his warmth in the night and his morning kisses, or the feel of his skin under my palms. No, I didn't want let those things go. Asvald was mine, as much as he considered me to be his.

Tears started falling again, my chest shaking and shuddering as I tried to cope with everything I was feeling. "If only…"

He shook his head and rested his finger against my lips. "Shhh. No more 'if only's.' We have our future, our life. I will love you forever."

I reached up and pulled him down to me, kissing him with passion because I didn't want to lose him. If I returned to Ireland, I would be unable to marry again and would live my life alone. I couldn't live alone; I always needed someone there to keep me company. "I love you, Asvald. I will stay, my dear husband. I will stay."

He breathed a sigh of relief and kissed my neck. "Thank you. I will spend the rest of my life giving back everything I took away. It is my wish that soon you will have my child, so your heart will not be empty."

Heat crawled up my neck, and I smiled as I threaded my fingers through his hair. "It's my desire as well."

Moving over me, he leaned down to give me a soft, gentle kiss. Sighing, I held him close and kissed him back. His tongue touched my bottom lip and I opened up to him, groaning when our tongues made contact. The familiar musky scent of him made my heart beat faster, the feel of his muscles under my palms making my head spin. I felt him against my thigh, and a hot blush covered my chest and neck.

"Touch me," he whispered in my ear and nibbled on my neck. I sucked in a deep breath and let my trembling hand wander down his toned belly that was covered lightly in amber colored hair. He let out a loud groan when my hand caressed him. Smiling, I gave myself in to everything my body yearned for and what Asvald needed.

Later, we lay resting together my head resting on Asvald's chest as he sweetly caressed my hair.  
"Are you happy, _minn kone_?" He asked softly, kissing the top of my head. I sighed and ran my fingertips through the course hairs that tampered down toward his manhood. Lifting myself on my elbow, I kissed his chest. "Yes."

"Are you saying that to tickle my ears or do you mean it?" He asked, his voice still husky from our love making.

Nipping him lightly, I giggled. "I mean it, _maor_."

Smiling, he tilted my chin up and claimed my lips, tasting me like I was some sweet wine. Deep in my heart, the words resounded. _I am happy_.

After the morning meal, Asvald left to tend the animals and I decided to ask Groa if she needed my assistance. "Can I help you?"

She smiled and nodded. "I'd like that, Eachna."  
I knelt beside her and started scrubbing one of the wooden dishes. "Everything is well between Asvald and me now." I glanced at her and grinned.

"That is good," she chuckled. "You will be much happier now. Trust me, Asvald will never stray from your arms now."

I nodded. "I hope so."

That day I took Ulf down to the river to splash in the water, needing to see what it would be like to be a mother. It was possible that soon I would have a child of my own to care for. Ulf sat on the bank, making a ball of mud and moss as his chubby feet kicked in the clear, cool water.

I sat down beside him with a sewing project, and he smiled up at me.

"Na, look!" he cried and put the ball of mud on my knee. I picked it up and tossed it back to him, and tried to wipe the mud from my dress.

"You play with it, Ulf," I said in Irish. I had taught Ulf some of my language. Most of what I said to him, he understood. He had taken to calling me Na, because he couldn't say Eachna. Spending time with him helped ease the pain of never seeing my little nephew and niece again.

Two strong hands came down on my shoulders and I tilted my head back to see Asvald smiling down at me.

"Good afternoon, husband," I murmured and he leaned down to kiss my lips.

"And to you, _kone,_ " he said before sitting beside Ulf, who called his name and crawled up into his lap, pressing his muddy hands to Asvald's cheeks.

Asvald spoke gently to him in Norse and removed the child's hands, laughing softly. Ulf grinned and tugged on Asvald's long hair, spreading more mud. Asvald stood, taking Ulf with him, and wadded into the river. He washed the mud from Ulf's hands, and from his own face and hair. Looking up at me, he called,

"Why is he so obedient to you, but is a trouble maker with me?"

I grinned. "Because you are his brother. It is his job to cause trouble for you."

He shook his head and lifted Ulf onto his shoulders, and waded back up to the bank. He stripped off his soaked shirt, his strong back and chest there for me to admire. Remembering how it felt to be in his arms, I blushed and lifted Ulf off his shoulders and placed him on the ground. I took his little hand and together we walked back to Groa's longhouse, Asvald trailing behind us.  
Once I got Ulf back to Groa, I decided to take a short walk.  
Asvald trotted up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I liked seeing you care for my brother. It reminds me what a great mother you will be," he murmured by my ear, nipping my earlobe.  
I giggled and leaned back into his embrace. "Maybe tonight…I'll conceive your child."

He spun me around to face him, bringing me tight against his body. Lowering his head, he captured my lips with his. I whimpered and fisted my hands in his hair. Slowly he brought us to our knees before laying me back in the grass.

"Asvald, here is not the place," I whispered, moaning when his aroused manhood pressed into me. He kissed my neck and caressed my thighs, one hand at his trousers, working to undo the tie.

"Asvald, someone will see. We are on a hill," I panted, placing my hand over his to still his movement.

"Let them see," he growled, biting the soft skin where my neck met my shoulder. "Let them know that you are mine." Lifting my dress, he slid between my legs.

"Stop it! It's only a short ways to our longhouse," I said and pushed against his chest. "The whole village need not watch."

He stilled and looked into my eyes. "I did not wish to upset you." He got to his feet and offered his hand to me. I stood and together we walked until we came to our longhouse.

"Tomorrow I will teach you Norse, if that is what you wish," he said as we settled down beside the fire.

"Yes, that would be wonderful!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. "I need to learn."

He kissed me hungrily on the mouth. "And I am always willing to teach."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The next morning I woke up to find that Asvald was gone. Sighing, I dressed and ate a small breakfast, worrying if I would ever be happy again. Yesterday was the first time I had smiled in a whole year.

I waited the entire day for him to return home, but even after the sun went down and the moon rose high in the sky, he still did not come.

I sat in the doorway, my chin resting on my knees, my eyes on the full moon. Tears streamed down my face. "I want to go home. I do not belong here." The night was eerily silent; the only noise was the waving breaking against the cliff.  
When I could keep my eyes open no longer, I laid down by the fire, hoping that Asvald would return soon.

Thankfully the next morning I awoke to find Asvald across the fire from me, looking extremely troubled.

"Are you well?" I asked, my voice scratchy from sleep.

He brought his gaze to mine, his lips pressed in a tight line. "I have been accused of murdering Jabez. Now I must _Jernbyrd_."

Groa overheard this and gasped, coming to stand beside Asvald, her hand resting on his shoulder.

I glanced at Groa to try to read her face as she stared at her son, and was dismayed to see it was crumpled in acute worry. "What does _Jernbyrd_ mean?"

"The carrying of hot iron. If I can carry a red hot iron in my hands for nine paces without dropping it, I will be innocent. But if my wounds become infected, I will be guilty," he said in a steady, calm voice. Despite his effort to seem brave, I saw the fear in his eyes.

"And you must do this?" I asked, moving around the fire to sit beside him, taking his hand in mine.

"Yes," he said and dropped his head into his hands. "I have no choice."

"Asvald, are you guilty?" I asked softly, touching his soft blond hair. _Please, don't be guilty._ After the beatings I received at Jabez's hands, it would not surprise me if Asvald decided to take revenge on the man. Groa bit her lip as she waited for him to answer, her knuckles turning white as she griped his shoulder tightly.

"I am innocent. I have shed no blood," he murmured, his whole body shaking. It was the first time I had seen him so visibly upset.

"I believe you." I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed. "You are strong and courageous. You can do this."

He groaned and dropped his head into his hands. A sheen of sweat glowed on his forehead. "Tonight. I have to do it tonight."

I nodded and stroked his hair soothingly like a mother would to her child. "I will be there to treat your wounds when you are finished. My love will ease your pain."

He removed his hands and looked at me with surprise. "Your love?"

Groa's eyes met mine for a moment, a smile gracing her lips before she turned away, letting us have our moment.

I nodded and returned my focus to Asvald, and as I gazed upon his amazed face, I felt my throat tightened and I could only murmur, "Aye."

But the spell didn't last long and the intense fear returned to Asvald's expression. "I can't drop it, Eachna. What if I drop it?" The panic in his voice caused my own heart to beat faster.

I had to control my own fear for his sake. "You won't. I will stand there and you will keep your eyes on me, and take nine paces until you reach me. Then you will drop that iron and I will kiss you until your pains leave," I soothed, and kissed his cheek.

He nodded and straightened his back and shoulders. "I will do this."

{}

When the sun began to set, Asvald took my hand and together we walked into the center of the village, where the iron was already heating in a boiling pot of water over a blazing fire. Asvald halted, his eyes on the pot, his grip tight on my hand.

"Asvald, remember yourself," I whispered and tugged him forward, wanting to get this over with. His father stood by the fire, along with the man who was also accused, and the man who had done the accusing. Asvald joined them and I stood off to the side, watching as Bork spoke in Norse.

After a few minutes, the other accused man stepped up to the pot and forced his hands into the boiling water, letting out a cry of pain. He jerked out of the water, holding the steaming rod of iron. He turned and started his nine paces, his face red with pain. Veins bulged in his neck and forehead. He reached the end and dropped the rod, holding his seared hands in front of his face. His woman stepped forward and bound his hands in clean rags and led him away. My gaze found Asvald again, and he looked pale and scared.

 _Lord, please be with him. Protect him from the pain and give him the strength not to drop that iron. Please be with him,_ I prayed.

Asvald stepped forward and hesitated only a short moment before thrusting his hands into the boiling water. I walked slowly to the end of his nine paces, my legs shaking. I heard his roar of agony and it tore at my heart.

He turned in my direction, the hot iron in his hands. Sweat beads formed on his forehead and he stumbled forward, his body shaking from the pain. I knew he was fighting every urge to drop the rod. His eyes met mine and I nodded, offering a gentle smile of encouragement. My hand covered my mouth as held in my anxieties.

Finally he stood before me and threw the iron rod to the side, looking down at his hands to examine the damage. His skin was raw and blistered, most of the skin burned away, exposing the pale pink flesh beneath it. I choked back my disgust, because Asvald needed me.

"You did well, my husband," I said, my voice weak. I held his wrist and led him back to the longhouse. The entire walk back he grunted in pain, trying to hide it.

I settled him by the fire and heated some water, watching as he closed his eyes, his hands still trembling.

I soaked a few rags in the hot water before going to his side and taking his injured hands into my lap. I pressed the rag into his hand and he let out a groan, his body going tense.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I whispered, tears in my eyes as I cleaned his wounds, and put some ointment Groa gave to me on his hands. Once I wrapped them up, his pain seemed to ease a little.

"It wasn't that painful," Asvald said, his voice finally steady. I looked up at him with disbelief.

"Whatever you say, Asvald," I said before lifting his bandaged hand to my lips and placing a kiss on the binding.

Groa and the children returned to the longhouse then and she fussed over her son, offering in cool water to drink or some warm herbal tea to help with the pain.

Asvald declined for offers and winked at me. "I have a better idea of what could ease my pain."

Groa rolled her eyes and flapped her hand at him, turning away from us to chase after Ulf, who was getting into her balls of yarn.

There would be no arguing with Asvald's wishes after the horrible ordeal he just went through, so I moved into his lap and kissed him with passion, hoping to take his mind off his pain. Though some of his siblings lingered around us, it seemed I was getting used to physical affection in front of other people.

His hands stayed at his sides, but his mouth moved feverishly against mine. My hands tangled in his hair and I touched the tip of my tongue to his bottom lip. He groaned and pulled away.

"Oh, Eachna…"he breathed and resting his forehead against mine. "I don't deserve you."

I stayed silent, resting my hands on his chest. I felt his heartbeat beneath my palm and smiled. Lying down, he rested his head in my lap and closed his eyes. I stroked his hair and started singing an old Irish lullaby. He sighed and only moments later, he was snoring. Leaning down, I kissed his forehead before slowly moving out from under him. I covered him with a thick wool blanket. "I love you, Asvald."

{}{}{}

The next night after dinner Groa did her usual ritual of washing Bork's hair, a job Norsewomen often did for their husbands.

Asvald sat by the fire with his burned hands resting on his thighs, his eyes glazed over with either thoughts or pain. I bit down on my lip as I looked at his hair, dirty from sweat.

I poured some of the heated water into a pitcher. Next I placed a bowl in Asvald's lap.

He glanced over his shoulder me with shock, his lips parted. "What are you doing?"

"You know what I'm doing," I murmured and lifted his hair till it hung like a curtain over his face.

"Take off my shirt," he answered with the same low murmur. An intimate murmur that sent a chill down my spine. I obeyed, helping him out of his shirt without disturbing his hands.

Once he was settled and leaning over the bowl with his hair in his face, I poured the water over his head. His blond hair darkened to brown and I heard him sigh at the rush of warmth.

I took a bar of soap and lathered up his hair, running the suds through the strands, enjoying the long silkiness between my fingers. He had hair that any woman would kill to have. As I massaged his scalp and hearing his noises of pleasure, I felt my throat thicken with emotion and an overwhelming desire to have him hold me in his arms. Not for lovemaking, just for love.

"Rinse it now, love. My back is aching," he whispered to me and I snapped out of my trance, realizing that I had been washing his hair for at least ten minutes now. I quickly poured the rest of the water of his head and rung out his hair.

He straighten and stretched. "Thank you." He pulled me close, using his forearm instead of his hands. Lowering his head, he nuzzled my neck. "Let us go to bed." Though the words implied something naughty, his tone suggested that he was thinking the same thing as I. He wanted to hold me. And that is what we did. We held on.

{}

Seven days went by and Asvald's wounds had begun to heal. His father came to check his wounds, and Asvald was declared innocent.  
As soon as the chieftain left our bedroom, Asvald took me in his arms and kissed me. My head spun, and I had to grip his biceps to keep from losing my balance.

"It was your care," he whispered against my lips. "You healed me."  
I smiled and tugged him toward our bed, urging him to lie on his back. "I couldn't let them banish you."

He stared up at me, his eyes filled with affection for me. "That would have been an easy way of getting rid of me."

I straddled him and leaned down so my mouth was almost touching his. "And why would I want to be rid of you?"

"So you could go home," he whispered, his fingertips stroking my thighs. My eyes closed and I kissed him gently, needing him.

"I can't go home. I can't let you kill them," I murmured, yanking on his shirt. He stripped out of it and threw it across the room.

"Is that why you're seducing me?" He asked, his still wrapped-up hands moving over my back.

"No, that is not why," I groaned and lifted my dress over my head, revealing myself to him. I pressed down onto his lower stomach, so he could feel my wet center. His eyes closed and he moaned, his hands falling to his side.  
My heart pounded as I lifted myself, ready to lower onto him. "Look at me," I murmured and his eyes opened again, meeting mine. Taking a deep breath, I moved down, bringing us together. We both groaned and his hands rested on my hips. Though it was still a bit painful, the feeling of our flesh coming together overruled it, sending waves of pleasure up my spine. Asvald mumbled in Norse as I stirred my hips, listening to him cry out words that sounded rough, yet exotic. I leaned down and kissed his neck and down his chest, my heart beating in time with his. Time to soar, time to be free. Time to let go. I had to let go of everything behind me to embrace everything that was in front of me.  
" _Minn fagr kone._ My beautiful wife," Asvald murmured, his hands stroking my back.

"My handsome husband," I whispered back and nibbled on his earlobe. My hands moved over his chest, his skin smooth yet tough. My head felt light as I rocked above him, my vision blurred from the intense pleasure.

His body tensed and I straightened, my head falling back as he finished inside me. His deep growl of release sent me over the edge, and soon I too, was spent. Collapsing onto his chest, we panted and tried to catch our breath, both of our bodies trembling with aftershock.

Rolling off him, I stared up at the ceiling and waited for him to recover. " _Jeg elsker deg_ _,_ " I said slowly, trying to get it right.  
He turned his head and looked at me. "What did you say?"

I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at him with a smile. " _Jeg elsker deg._ I love you."

His blue eyes shined, and when I laid my hand on his chest, I could feel his heart beating against my palm.

" _Jeg elsker deg, min kone,"_ he whispered gently, the sweetest words I'd ever heard him speak.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Since he was healed, Asvald started teaching me lessons in his language. He thought that if I spoke in his tongue, it would be easier for me to forget about Ireland. I doubted that would help, but I still wanted – and needed- to learn Norse. Starting out, I learned the names on common things like fire, water, moon, food, and the names of animals, and places. It took two months nearly for me to learn even those simple things.

But when night came and we were alone in our longhouse, he wanted to teach me more intimate words. We stood naked before each other, and though he was trying to teach me, both our minds were wandering.

Placing his hand on my head, he said, " _Hjalmstallr."_ I repeated it after him and got a nod of approval. Next he placed his finger on my lips and I parted them. His eyes grew heated as he touched his fingertip to the tip of my tongue. " _Tunga,"_ he murmured. Moving his hand down, he caressed the side of my neck with his fingers. " _Hals."_ Again, I repeated the word until he nodded.

His hand moved lower until it cupped my breast. " _Brjost."_

Breathing deeply, I kept my eyes on Asvald's and said the word. He touched my arm. " _Valtaeigr."_ I repeated it and got a nod. His hands moved around to my back.

 _"Hryggr."_

His hands came back around and caressed my belly. _"Kvior."_ Once I learned the word, his hand stroked my thigh. _"Leggr."_ I repeated the word. He pointed to my feet _. "Fotr."_ He looked up and me and smiled. "Well done, _kone_." Taking my hand he placed it on his chest _. "Kista."_ I quickly learned the word. He moved my hand down his belly to his manhood that was demanding attention. I blushed and felt hot all over as I took him in my hand. _"Fosull."_

Smiling, I nuzzled into his chest. "Does this mean the lesson is over?"

"Mmm, I think I have a few more things to teach you," he growled and pushed me toward our bed. I fell back and he moved over me, nipping his way down my neck and collarbone. I groaned and lifted my hips toward his. He pressed me down and lowered his mouth onto my breast. Letting out a cry, I clutched his head close, not wanting to lose our contact. Fire seeped through my veins, my body heated and flushed, aching for more. Asvald flipped me over, grabbed my hips and lifted my bottom into the air, ready to take me from behind. I gasped, and looked over my shoulder at him. Pressing his hand on my back, he gently pushed my chest down so it touched the bed, making my back sloped. I folded my arms and rested my cheek on them. Asvald spread my knees and knelt between my legs, touching the tip of his manhood to my entrance.

Growing, he kissed the back of my neck. "Do you want me?"

My face heated but I answered him. "Aye."

He rubbed against me again, driving another cry past my lips. "Where do you want me, _kone_?"

I held back a groan and didn't answer him, too embarrassed.

He slipped a finger inside me. "Say it, Eachna."

"Inside me," I mumbled, hiding my face in the crook of my arm. "I want you inside me."

His deep chuckle sent pleasant shivers up my spine, making me tremble with wanting. "Beg for it," Asvald commanded.

"Please!" I cried and pressed myself back. Taking my earlobe between his teeth, he entered me with one powerful thrust. My back arched in beautiful, pleasurable agony. The feeling of him inside me left my head spinning, my whole body vibrating. He plunged into me again and again, never seeming to get deep enough inside me.

Something inside of me kept getting tighter and tighter, bringing me up to my peak.

"Finish for me, beautiful," he murmured in my ear, and it was my undoing. My body tensed, my heart feeling like it would explode out of my chest as the pleasure relaxed me. Asvald let himself go when he knew that I was satisfied, and he finished, and collapsed on my back, panting in my ear. He rolled off me and closed his eyes, his muscular chest rising and falling with each deep breath. I leaned over him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"So that's how savage Norsemen bed their wives, huh?" I smirked down at him. He opened his eyes and grinned.

"I have been waiting for the right time to show you," he chuckled and pulled me down for a long, sensual kiss.

{}{}{}

After winter came and went and spring returned, Asvald announced to me that he would be leaving within a few days on a raid of Ireland. My heart skipped a beat in dread, feeling like it dropped into my stomach, but then I became flushed with anger.

"Ireland is my home," I told him, trying to keep from raising my voice. He reached out and touched my shoulder, but I shrugged out from under his hand.

"I know you don't like this, Eachna, but I am a Norseman, and this is what I do," he said gently, as if I could accept that my husband was about to kill and steal from people, burning down their homes and taking their women.

I looked up into his eyes, praying that he would change his path. "Asvald, you do not need to go raiding. Stay here and raise your crops and sheep. Don't gain your wealth by forcing another in poverty."

Asvald shook his head, his eyes flashing as if he was trying to control his temper. "You will never understand, _kone_. I must prove myself to the gods that I may enter into Valhalla upon my death."

I tried to stop myself from becoming angry. It didn't work. "You are right, husband. I will never understand. You are killing and ruining people's lives all for the sake of gaining entrance into your make-believe gods' feasting hall! I will never understand that. What you're doing is morally wrong. In the end, you'll only be rotting in hell!"

Asvald groaned and walked away from me, his steps stomping and his back tense with rage. Again I shook my head and went to find Groa. She always calmed me down when I was upset. I found her by the river, washing her family's clothes. I knelt beside her and began to help. I decided to talk about something other than my fight with Asvald, just to keep my mind off it. If I lingered on what Asvald had just told me, and the yelling that happened between us, I would burst into sobs.

"Where was your home?" I asked her quietly, breaking the silence between us. Groa always let me speak first when I sought her out. Maybe to make sure we talked about what I needed to talk about, or maybe because she didn't want to push me to talk at all if I didn't want to. Or perhaps she was just a silent woman.

She looked up at me and smiled sadly. "A small town on the coast of England."

"Do you ever think of your family?" I asked, looking into the gently rushing water as I scrubbed a shirt with a stone. Tiny silver fish glinted in the sunlight, playfully darting around the rocks on the riverbed. I'd never seen water so clear in my life.

"At first I thought of them constantly. Now, they hardly cross my mind. I have my husband, and my children now. I am happy," she said with a soft sigh.

"Groa is a Norse name," I stated, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. She rocked back on her heels and took a break from her washing.

"Bork named me that right before taking me as his wife. My true name is..." she trailed off for a moment, her eyes filling with tears. "My, it's been so long now since I've been called by it, I can barely say it. Elizabeth. My name was Elizabeth."

How hard it must have been to say her true name again, after nearly twenty years of not hearing it. I made me wonder why Asvald hadn't taken my Irish name from me. "Why didn't Asvald change my name?"

She smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Asvald is kind. He didn't want to take away the name that your parents had given you."

Her words brought a smile to my face. Asvald did have a heart, he cared for me, even if he had never said that he loved me. Maybe someday he would love me.  
"They are going to raid Ireland soon," I murmured, throwing the stone I was holding into the water with force. The rock disappeared beneath the surface, and I wished I could slip away just as easily.

"I know," she said softly, taking up her washing again. She scrubbed a pair of hose with a bar of soap.

"Doesn't that make you angry?" I asked her, exasperated, wondering why she was so accepting of her husband's faults.

"Aye, it does. But there is nothing I can do about it. They will pay for their sins, just like I will pay for mine," she explained and smiled at me. God, the woman seemed to have a heavenly glow around her, her face one that should've belonged to an angel. Perhaps that's where her unending patience stemmed from. "You will understand once you've lived with them as long as I have."

I nodded, though my heart was still heavy. While the Norsemen were often good fathers and husbands, they lacked morals when it came to destroying other people's lives. "Sometimes I wish that Asvald was an honorable man who I could be proud of." My stomach twisting in a way that was becoming familiar, and I bit my lip, wondering if I should tell Groa what I had been suspecting for several weeks now.  
"Groa, I believe I am with child," I whispered, my heart pounding because it was the first time I had said the words.

A little gasp escaped her mother and she dropped the soap into the river, looking up at me with wide eyes, her lips slowly turning up into a smile.

Laughing, I kissed her cheek. "Hold on." I peeled off my dress and slipped into the river, swimming after the bar of soap which was floating away. Once I caught it, I stood up straight in the water, enjoying the feeling of swiftly moving water flowing over my body. The sun glistened off my pale skin under the water. I looked like a polished stone.

"Got it!" I tossed the soap back to Groa and she just barely caught it, the bar almost slipping out of her hands again.

"Come back over here!" She called and smiled indulgently at me, just like a mother would. "I want to talk to you about your… condition."

I shook my head and kicked my feet in the water, floating on my back, letting the current carry me a ways down the river before swimming back up to where Groa knelt on the riverbed. "My God, it's a beautiful day." The water was chilly, but the sun was warming me, and the air was warm, the smell of spring in the air.

"Have you told Asvald yet?" She asked, wringing out a child's shirt and spreading it out on the grass behind her.

I breathed hard, spitting out water as I fought the current to stay in one place. "No," I panted, my feeling of playful starting to ebb away.

Her brow furrowed in a frown. "Why? I assure you he will be most joyful."

I grabbed onto a large rock in the middle of the river and sat on top of it, nearly moaning as the sun soaked warmth of the rock spread over my backside. "I just...I'm not sure I want this. Now I could never leave Asvald. The two of us are joined together to form our child inside my womb. I could never leave."

Groa didn't say anything for a moment as she just looked at me. Her eyes were unreadable, which I found unnerving. Usually it was easy to see her emotions playing in her face.

"Not that I want to leave," I added hurriedly, holding out my hand in a pleading gesture. "But it's just feels like now any chance of me returning home has disappeared and I'm mourning it."

Sadness swept over her face like a cloud and she glanced away, fighting her own tears. "I know, Eachna. I know."

A movement in the trees caught my attention and I watched as Asvald stepped into the clearing, coming toward his mother.

I suddenly remembered I was naked as a newborn, lying on a rock in the sun. The river water suddenly seemed freezing and I didn't want to swim back to the bank.

"Groa, toss me my dress," I said anxiously, pointing to the bundled up garment that laid in the grass a few feet away from her.

It was too late, really, because Asvald was close enough to see me, and the smirk on his face told me he was enjoying the view. I brought my knees up to my chest for modesty's sake.

Groa turned to reach for my dress, but Asvald raced forward and snatched it up, chuckling evilly. Groa just rolled her eyes at him and returned to her washing.

"Why are you suddenly so shy, _kone_?" The smirk still lingered on his face. He twirled my dress around. "I've seen it all before."

I flushed and stuck my tongue out at him. Our last interaction was a fight, and as he looked me with eyes that made me want to spread my legs and let him take me right there on the rock, I knew what I needed to say.

"I am sorry for losing my temper," I made sure that my eyes stayed locked on his. I didn't want to act like a puppy with its tail between its legs.

Asvald raised an eyebrow. "Really? That seems unlike you." That damn smile. Half of me wanted to slap it off his face. The other half wanted to kiss it off.

I stiffened. "What does that mean?"

"Forget it. You have my forgiveness. I would ask for yours as well, since I too raised my voice." He held out his hand to me. "Come here."

I glanced down into the chilly, clear water swirling around the rock and looked back at him, making a face. "It's too cold. I'm so delightfully warm here." Sighing, I lowered my legs, careful not to put my feet in the water. Putting my hands behind me on the rock, I arched my back a little, pushing out my swelling breasts. "You have my forgiveness, love."

He swallowed hard, his eyes no longer on mine. "Mother, would you mind finishing your washing a bit later?"

Groa chuckled and gathered up the rest of the clothes, leaving the wet ones still spread out in the grass. "Be gentle with her, Asvald. Tender, yes?" She quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What?" He asked suspiciously. Obviously baffled, he looked from Groa to me, then back at his mother. "You want me to make tender love to her, why?"

Groa just frowned and jammed his finger into his chest. "You may be grown and married, young man, but you still need to listen to your mother and obey without asking why."

Asvald raised his palms in defeat, looking a little sheepish. "Alright, mother. Whatever you say."

She winked at me, then hurried out of the clearing.

Grinning like a mad man, Asvald tore off his shirt and pants, kicking them away along with his shoes. He dove into the water and came up gasping and sputtering. "How long did you swim before climbing onto that rock?" He pushed the wet hair out of his eyes.

My heart was already beating fast as I anticipated his loving. "Not long. Hurry up here."

He grabbed onto the rock and pulled himself up. Cold water dripped off his naked body onto mine and I gasped, twisting away from him. "Good lord!"

He laughed and ducked his head, licking the water off my chest, while more just dripped down from his hair. His hands went to my hips, holding me in place. "Hold still."

Grinning, I reached down between us and cupped his balls in my hand, kissing his shoulder. Most of the time I just wanted to worship his strong body. I was amazed with the amount of love I could feel for him.

"Feels good," he murmured against my skin, lying me back completely flat. The rock was going to scrape my backside, but I hardly cared. I touched him enough to make him ready, and he did the same for me, before gently easing into me.

"Why did my mother want me to be gentle with you?" He asked before moving his hips, as if the answer could be enough to make him withdraw from me.

"The rock. If you pound me too hard, you'll tear up the back of my body," I said, hoping that would be a satisfactory answer. It was. He slipped his hands under me to protect the tender skin of my arse as he rocked slowly and smoothly into me.

I clung to him, belly to belly with him as slowly but surely we reached our release.

Afterward he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I wondered when I would have the courage to tell him about the baby. My hand fluttered to my tummy. I was going to have a baby.

{}{}{}

Since I had come to accept the fact that I was pregnant, my stomach turned much more often and most mornings I woke up feeling quite sick. Headaches ailed me for most of the day, then at night after the evening meal I would lose the contents of my stomach.

Asvald didn't mention anything to me about being with child, I believe he thought that I had some sort of stomach virus. He was too busy preparing for the raid.

I kept trying to work up the courage to tell him, but I just couldn't. Even though Groa told me that Asvald would be quite happy with the news, I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I had this feeling that once I told him, things would change between us, and not for the better. So I kept my little secret.

{}

The village bustled with activity the morning the men were to leave on the raid, women finishing last minute packing for their husbands, the men tending to final arrangements.

I gathered Asvald's packs and gave them to him with a peck on lips, and he took them down to the ship before returning to say goodbye. He kissed his siblings goodbye first, then Groa, who told him to behave and gave him a pat on the bottom.

He turned to me with a smile that held a secret. Ducking his head, he pressed his open mouth against mine and pulled me against his hips by gripping my arse. I heard the giggles of Groa and the children, but I didn't mind.

Twining my fingers in his hair, I returned the passionate kiss and teased his tongue with my own. But when I felt his hardness between us, I pulled away before I could be tempted to drag him back to bed and never let him leave.

He breathed heavily and rested his forehead against mine, our breath mingling in the space between us. "My _kone_. Be a good lass while I'm gone and try not to feel too lonely without me."

We looked up at each other, hands brushing cheeks, thumbs grazing lips.

"Do not hurt the women and children," I murmured, ignoring the ache of remembering the raid on my own village. But there was no stopping him, and I could do little to change his way of life.

"You know I won't," he answered and kissed me quickly one last time. "I must go."

We whispered our love of one another and he headed down to the beach, and I stood alone on the cliff that overlooked the ocean, watching as Asvald's ship slipped into the distance. My hand drifted to my stomach. I loved the child beginning to grow inside me, and I loved the man who fathered it, but I couldn't help but feel the burn as a seed of bitterness was planted inside me.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Spring came and went and summer began, and still the men did not return. Apparently it took a long time to raid village after village along the Irish coast.

Sleep avoided me those few long months, nightmares waking me every night. A cold sweat would coat my skin as I remembered flashes of swords and spurts of blood and high-pitched screams which taunted my mind as I slept. Sometimes I would see Asvald, a helpless woman pinned beneath him in the blood-flooded cobblestone street. Other times I would feel Asvald's hand curling around my own neck as he dragged me away from my family.

With the lack of sleep and the constant headaches and roiling stomach, I almost felt glad that Asvald wasn't around to see me in such a way.

Groa helped me cope with the pregnancy, and offered me advice, but despite her tenderness toward me, for the first time in a long time, I felt myself longing desperately for my mother. My family's faces were beginning to dissolve in my mind, and with the heightened emotions due to the little bump forming at my waist, I fought the sadness every day, longing to accept my current life.

The child would be an unbreakable bond to Asvald for the rest of my life. Whether I wanted it or not, Asvald would be a part of my life until my death. As the tiny bump appeared, I felt the searing pain of watching my dreams of returning home dissipate  
Of course I wanted the baby, but at the same time there was the loss of my chances of seeing my family again.

One night I went to Groa and fell into her arms crying, despite the late hour. She listened to my sobbing and the source of my pain, all the while her cheek pressed to the top of my head as she rubbed my back.

"I know, Eachna, I know," she murmured and squeezed me, and I felt comforted because she honestly did understand.

Slowly my sobs eased and I listened quietly to soft and soothing voice.

"This child, and Asvald, will become your family, and soon the loss will change into the greatest blessing you have ever known. Believe me, the first time you hold your child and see its precious face, you will realize that you had been waiting for this moment your whole life. Do not mourn. Just wait." Gently, she wiped away my tears. "Do you love him, Eachna?"

I nodded, and when I spoke my voice was thick. "I do. I love him very much." It was the true, I never would deny that I loved him. Groa gave me a look, a disapproving one, and for the first time, I felt guilty for my tears and my self-pity. For months I said I loved my husband, and then cried myself to sleep missing my home, hoping to make him see the hurt he put me through, hoping he would hate himself for it. Was that love? How could I treat the father of my child in such a way?

Slowly I withdrew from Groa and settled back into my bed, which felt much too large without Asvald sleeping by my side.

For the first time in nearly three months, sleep came and the nightmares faded away.

{}

On a warm day late in August, the dragon ships arrived on the horizon. The whole village gathered on the shore to greet the returning men, the crowd buzzing with excitement.

I searched the ships for Asvald's face when they got close enough, and soon found him in the largest ship, standing at the bow. A warm feeling like mead on an empty stomach flittered through me. My husband was home. I glanced down at my slightly rounded belly and caressed it. How would Asvald react to seeing my blooming form?

But as the ships docked, my heart sank as Asvald got off the ship with a young woman, wrists tied in a rope as Asvald dragged her from the docks into the crowd, coming towards me. I heard the young woman growling in Irish.

Soon they stood before me, Asvald with a triumphant grin on his face. "Come here, _kone_ , and give me a kiss."

My hands went to my face as I felt blood rush to my cheeks in anger. "What have you done?" My voice was low as a warning.

"I brought her as a gift for our household, both ours and my parents. She will mostly be a help to my mother, you have no need to worry about her." His hopeful eyes searched mine, like he was begging me not to be angry.

But I ignored Asvald and looked over the girl who seemed to be near the same age at me. Perhaps a little taller than me, she had a heart-shaped face with brown eyes, and sleek brown hair. It was easy to see that the girl was livid and ready for a fight, as she growled in Irish and struggled against her bonds. My ears felt a strange shock at hearing my native language after such a long time. I had stopped speaking Irish months ago.

Her lovely brown eyes met mine, the look therein almost intimidating. I felt myself shrink under her glare.

"Don't you dare look at me with pity, woman," she snapped in Irish. Her brows arched and her gaze didn't waver.

I tried to change my expression and instead turned to Asvald, folding my arms over my chest. "How could you do this to any Irish woman?" I could see that Asvald's temper was rising to the surface.

"You are not my authority and I do not answer to you," he growled slowly and leaned over me. "You are my wife, not my leader."

Quick as lightning, I reached out and slapped him across the face. As soon as the smack cracked the air, I regretted it. But I had a temper before I was pregnant, and the child seemed to make it worse, along with all my other emotions.

He grunted and grabbed my wrist, twisting my arm behind my back. "I could have you whipped for such a blatant act of disrespect!" The force he extended was frightening.

"Stop!" I cried and my other hand covered my belly. "Please, the baby."

Realization dawned in his eyes and they dropped to the hand on my belly, the bump underneath. He released my other wrist. "You are with child," he breathed in awe and brought me to his chest. "You are with child!"

I melted into his warmth, despite how much I wanted to resist him. "I am." But then I pushed away from him. "Back to the matter at hand," I said, gesturing to the tied up girl, who stood watching us with her lips parted, her brows close together.

"Eachna, I know this upsets you and I am sorry for that, especially in your...delicate condition, but she will hardly affect you." He patted my arm as if to convince me.

I threw up my hands. "She will live in my house, so yes, she will affect me!"

Asvald took my arm and the three of us walked toward our longhouse, though the girl dug her heels in the ground and resisted.

Pity tugged at my heart as I knew exactly what she was going through. I turned to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me. I am Irish, which I am sure you can tell. This man next to me captured me a year ago and made me his wife. I have tried to run away twice, and I can tell you right now there is no point because there is nowhere to go." I paused for breath. "What is your name?"

"Alanna," she answered and pressed her lips together. Her eyes amazed me, for I could see the strength and the resistance of her own fear.

"Alanna, you can trust me, and my mother-in-law, who was also captured as a girl. We know what you are going through, and we can help, but first you must trust us. I can assure you no harm will come to you." I tried to copy the levelness of her gaze, to reassure her. "I promise you."

Though her body language was still wary, she nodded and followed us into the longhouse, which was empty. Groa and the rest of her children were still down on the beach welcoming Bork.

"Eachna, I am exhausted. If I lie down for a while, can you make sure that Alanna is bathed and fed, and dressed as a thrall?" Asvald asked, his hand brushing my arm. As if a simple touch of his hand could persuade me to do his bidding.

I resented him for making me play a role in this girl's thralldom, but I nodded, remembering what a help Groa had been to me when I first arrived.

Asvald went into our bedroom and shut the door, and I turned to Alanna. "Would you like to bathe or eat first?"

"Eat," she answered and sat down by the fire, glaring down at her bound wrists.

I grabbed a knife and cut the ropes, revealing the bloody, raw skin underneath. Alanna hissed in pain and let her wrists rest on her knees. I handed her a plate of bread and cheese, knowing that she probably hadn't eaten well in weeks, and giving her meat right away could upset her stomach.

She ate quickly and I sat nearby, running my hands over my stomach. "I am sorry my husband took you. I told him not to when he left on the raid."

Her gaze met mine, and she shrugged her shoulders. "He is a brute. I doubt you could control him anyway." She looked down at my belly. "Did he force you?"

I shook my head and smiled. "No, he never did."

"So you gave in to him." Her brow arched in disapproval. "The wee babe inside you will be the child of a whore." Shaking her head, she went back to eating.

Since her life had recently been turned upside down, I did not take her words to heart, and inside passed her a cup of water.

When she set aside her plate, I gathered a clean dress, stockings, and a pair of shoes, along with a bar of soap and a rag, and gestured for her to follow me outside.

We walked to the river side by side, Alanna taking in her surroundings.

"Why wouldn't you escape? Why didn't you follow the shore?" She asked, pointing behind toward the beach.

"I still don't know the land, and I don't know how to survive in the woods on my own. Running away never would have worked, and I think I always knew that." I kept my gaze on the path in front of me, not wanting to make the girl beside me uneasy.

"How could a true Irish lass like you turn into one of them?" She asked, her words biting. Seems like we shared a spirit of stubbornness. Of course, the Irish tended to share that particular trait.

I sighed and tugged on the end of my braid, considering her question. "I am not one of them, I will always have Irish blood and it will always be my homeland. But I chose to try to be happy here with them rather than live in misery for the rest of my life." I thought of my time with Jabez and the scars on my back seemed to burn on my skin. But I would keep that to myself a while longer.

"We could escape together," Alanna nearly shouted and turned to face me, her hands gripping my arms, her eyes alight with excitement. "You said you shouldn't survive in the woods on your own, but we could survive if we went together!"

For the first time in a long time, I felt a yearning to take off at a run and never look behind me. Alanna's longing for freedom reflected what I'd been suppressing since Asvald and I made love for the first time.

But my hand went straight to the bump of my belly and I felt my throat tighten. I knew that the child would be the bonds that would forever connect me to Asvald, and I knew I could never try to leave again. I loved Asvald, too, and that couldn't be denied any longer.

I sighed and gently pulled my arms away from her and kept walking. "I am having his child in six months. I cannot leave him, and I know you can't understand it now, but I love him."

She cursed quietly to herself and glanced at me. "I feel like I can trust you."

Smiling, I handed her the rag and soap. "I am glad. Now show me that I can trust you. Go into that clearing and bathe quickly in the river and put on these clothes." I laid the folded dress and stocking in her arms with the shoes on top. "Met me here when you are finished."

Her eyes widened as she looked past me toward the clearing cut in half by the river, then back at me. But she didn't speak.

I held her gaze and said, "You will not be treated like a slave in our house, I will see to that. You will eat with us as a family, and you will have a comfortable place to sleep, and you will do as much work as the rest of us do. You will not be beaten or touched physically in any way. I will protect you."

She pursed her lips and nodded, lowering her eyes so I couldn't read her expression. "I will be back." With that, she turned and walked into the clearing.

I sighed and sat down in the grass beside the path, listening to the sweet birdsong and the breeze through the trees. Such a beautiful day. What a shame that it was the beginning of a difficult road for Alanna. She would struggle just like I did, but she would not have a man attacking her, but she always wouldn't have him love to lean on. But I would make sure that she could lean on me.

A short while later, she reappeared in my dress, which fitted her a little loosely, because I was a bit bigger than she. Her damp her was braided over one shoulder like my own and she looked healthier without the grime of travel on her face. I was almost surprised to see her, and that she hadn't run off.

"I wanted to," she said with a guilty smile. "But it would feel too wrong to break your trust."

I knew that she might be trying to earn my trust now so she could run later, but I still appreciated it that she returned. "Thank you." I grinned and bumped her with my shoulder as we headed back to the longhouse. "You saved me from a fight with my husband."

"You're welcome," she grumbled, and I bit back a smile. Perhaps I was selfishly glad to have a friend from my homeland.

{}

Asvald woke as we were sitting down to dinner, and he blinked the clouds of sleep from his eyes as he looked over Alanna. "Why isn't she dressed as a thrall?" His question was aimed at me.

I handed him his plate of food and tugged him over to the fire and sat him down. "She will not be treated like a thrall in this house. She will be respected and protected, understand?"

Asvald's brow arched and he glanced from my face down to my belly and back up.

 _That's right,_ I thought. _Do not argue with a pregnant woman._

"Alright," he murmured. "As long as she carries her share of the work, I do not care what she is or isn't wearing. I will leave her under the control of you and my mother." He glanced at Groa, who was speaking to her husband as he ate.

"Thank you," I murmured and kissed his cheek. The talk I had with Groa flashed through my mind, and I reminded myself to speak privately with Asvald as soon as possible.

Alanna ate quietly, her face filled with sorrow she could not hide. The tension showed in her eyes, in the way she chewed slowly. I felt myself mirroring that tension. I left Asvald's side and sat beside her.

"Do you want to tell me about your family?" I asked softly, knowing that talking about the people one loves can make one feel as if they are with one again.

"No," she grunted and set aside her food, having hardly touched it. "Do not ask questions." Her voice was sharp and she refused to meet my gaze.

"Alight," I sighed, wishing she would accept some form of comfort me, if not for herself, than for me.

Asvald gestured for me to return to my place beside him and I did, leaning on his shoulder. "I am still furious with you." A smile rested on my lips, though, and the words came more from stubbornness than from truth.

He chuckled and wrapped one arm around my shoulder, keeping me close to his side. "I know you are. But," he lowered his head so his mouth was near my ear. "Did you realize that I brought a bit of your homeland home to you?"

"That is sick, Asvald. She is not a part of my homeland, like you brought me home a rock from an Irish beach. She is a human being with a family who loves her." Emotion rose in my throat but I choked it down. Damn pregnancy, it was making me unstable.

"I know that, Eachna. I knew that when I took you." He turned his attention to his food and began inhaling it.

I picked at my own food, taking a few bites but still feeling a little too unsettled to eat.

After our meal, I moved to help Alanna and Groa with the cleaning up, but Asvald caught my hand and tugged me toward our bedroom. "We need our time alone, come on."

Of course I didn't resist, and he shut the door soundly behind us. Within moments, his arms were around me and his mouth was on mine, devouring me hungrily.

When he pulled away, he mumured in my ear, "Take off your dress. Let me see you."

My heart pounded with excitement and I obeyed, though a little slowly. My body had changed, obviously with my bump and all, and I worried about his reaction to it.

But as soon as my dress hit the floor, Asvald's hands were on my belly, caressing and running his thumbs over the taunt skin. He got to his knees and pressed his lips to my navel. "Sweet little babe," he murmured. "I love you."

Smiling, I stroked his hair and felt my heart melt as he expressed his joy for the wee babe inside me.

Finally, he got to his feet and tugged me to the bed, lying me down on my back. But instead of covering my body with his own and opening my legs, he laid on his side next to me, his hand resting on my bump.

"We created this wee one with our love," he whispered and looked at me with gentle eyes. "Simply amazing, isn't it?" His fingers drifted lightly over my skin.

I nodded as I felt tears pool in my eyes. Sighing I wiped them away and laughed softly. "My emotions are severely heightened right now."

He chuckled and drew me to his chest, draping one leg over my hip so we were as close as possible to each other and perfectly entwined.

When I heard the rest of the family settling down for bed in the other room, I whispered to Asvald, "You know she is going to try to run tonight."

"I know," he grunted and refused to meet my eyes.

"I will go after her," I said and got up from the bed, pulling my dress on again. "She'll probably try in another hour or so and I'll listen for her. When she sneaks out, I'll follow her."

Asvald started to protest but I held up my hand. "You will only frighten her more."

He nodded reluctantly and nodded, patting the bed for me to join him once more. I did, and he pulled the blanket up over my shoulders.

...

Asvald fell asleep, and the longhouse was silent as I waited for the sounds of Alanna getting up from her bed.

It was around midnight when I heard shuffling, and I peeked out of the bedroom door to see Alanna slip out of the longhouse into the night.

I quickly followed her as she headed toward the shore. Sneaking up behind her, I took hold of her wrist. She jumped and have a little scream before turning on me and slapping me across the face.

I shook off my shock and gripped her shoulders. "You cannot escape. Trust me! Do you think that I wanted to stay here? Don't you realize that I wanted to get away just as much as you do? Trust me when I say that this won't work!"

She growled and struggled against me, sending us both to the ground. I rolled and pinned her beneath me. Luckily, I was heavier than she.

"Alright!" She cried and pushed me off of her. Getting to her feet, she looked upward in frustration and took a deep breath. "Fine! I understand."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her back toward the longhouse. She shook me off but kept walking with me. "Of course escape is impossible, since you keep stopping me."

I ignored her and we snuck slowly back into the longhouse and I pointed to her bed and rasied my eyebrows. Alanna made a face at me but settled beneath her blanket. The snores of the rest of the family rose up around us, and I suddenly felt extremely tired.

I left Alanna to her own devices and slipped back into bed with Asvald, who still slept soundly. With one leg draped over his hip, I fell back asleep.

{}

Thankfully Alanna didn't try to run away again, and she was helping Groa with breakfast when Asvald and I emerged from our bedroom.

When the morning meal was over and settled in our stomachs, Asvald suggested that we take a swim in the river, and I readily agreed.

Asvald took my hand and raced toward the river and I tried to keep up.  
Upon reaching the river, Asvald stripped off his shirt and helped me with my dress, his mouth hungry and eager against my neck.

"I want to get my fill of you after being parted from one another for so long," he murmured, nibbling on my ear. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair, though my response to his attention was a bit less passionate than usual.

He tugged my dress from my body and tossed it aside. Looking over my body, his eyes sparkled with love and desire, and returned to my face.

"Your breasts are bigger," he stated, his hands coming up to cup them. I tried to hide a wince. My breasts had become very sensitive since Asvald had planted his seed in my womb.

I reached out to caress the tent in his pants, trying to take his mind off my changing body. He quickly stripped out of his pants.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I brought my lips an inch from his. "Asvald, if you do not take me right now, I will find someone else to do the job." My words had the intended effect. He lifted me into his arms with a possessive growl and carried me into the water. I twined my legs around his hips and clung to his neck. His mouth roamed over my chest, nipping me and kissing me, taking the hardened tip into his mouth. I groaned and my head fell back, the heat between my legs painful in the crisp water.

I felt his straining manhood against my arse, and rubbed against it.

"Gods, woman, you're killing me," he moaned, his hands tangled in my hair. I grinned and bit his chin, moaning as I moved against his taunt abdomen, grinding myself on him shamelessly.

"Fuck me senseless," I growled, needing him more than I thought possible. Earlier my body didn't seem all that willing, but once Asvald got my blood pumping...I was more than willing.

Asvald laid me down on the riverbank, most of my legs still in the water. Placing one hand by my head and the other on my hip, he entered me with a quick thrust and began pounding into me. For a moment I worried about the baby. Was it safe to make love while carrying a child? It was too late now.

My whole body trembled with pleasure, my cries sounding almost like I was in pain, Asvald's lovemaking was so intense. Asvald's face was flushed, his lips parted in bliss, his eyes half-closed. His cries were also loud, the kind of sound that made my stomach jump with wanting, making me even slicker between my legs.

His hips rolled faster and more jerky, his breathing deep yet quick. He was almost done. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, burying my face against him.

Reaching down between us, Asvald stroked my sensitive bundle of nerves, making me gasp and pant his name. My back arched off the ground, and that was it. I was lost in my pleasure, letting it roll over me again and again until I came back down to earth.

Asvald's eyes were squeezed shut and with one last deep plunge, he finished inside me. He rolled off me and gasped for air, both of our bodies flushed and spent.

"That was..." I started to say.

"The best it's ever been," Asvald finished for me and took my hands and pulled me up into a sitting position, then splashed some cool water on my flushed cheeks before leaning back on his hands. "I'm so very happy, _minn kone_. You've made me a very happy, happy man." He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me.

"I'm glad, my love," I whispered and returned his loving embrace. "You've made me happy too."

He pulled back and brushed my damp hair away from my face, his brilliant blue eyes searching mine. "Have I? I thought I ruined your life."

I shook my head and ran my fingers through his long, soft hair, letting the ends tickle the sensitive skin on my hands. "I am sorry for how I've been acting. I've been a spoiled bitch and I'm sorry."

Asvald smiled softly and kissed my cheek, then rubbed his beard against my neck. "It's understandable, love. But thank you for the apology."

We clung together again and I felt like a burden had lifted off my shoulders.

{}{}{}

A few months went by and my little bump grew into a big bump, and I could now feel the baby's kicks and movements inside me. Some nights Asvald would lie in bed with my and rest his hand on my belly to feel the baby's jabs.

"It's going to be a son," Asvald said to me as he rubbed his hand over my belly, waiting for the baby to respond.

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. "Why do you say that?"

"He's kicking," Asvald said with a grin and placed a kiss on my little bump. No matter how big my belly got, to me it would always be my little bump.

"All babies kick," I giggled and shook my head. "I think it's a daughter."

Asvald shook his head. "I pray that it's not. The last thing I need is another hot-headed female running around."

"Are you saying that I am hot-headed?" I scolded him with a smile. I already knew about my stubborn side.

"I love you," he murmured and kissed me gently. He looked at me for a moment, before moving down between my legs and lifting my shift.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my heart starting to pound.

"Giving you something you haven't had in a great while," he murmured before lowering his mouth to my center. My back arched and I clutched at his hair, crying his name. He hummed against me, cupping my bottom in his hands, keeping me close to him. The pleasure made my sight blurred, my limbs shaking as I soared to my peak. When my pleasure subsided, my eyes opened and met his, and he smiled.

" _Minn fagr kone,""_ he rumbled and gave me a passionate kiss. I smiled. An overwhelming tenderness for this man poured from my heart and I kissed him more fervently. This man was my lover, my husband, and my child's father, and I loved him.

{}

The pregnancy enhanced my dreams, making them vivid and all too real. Often I woke in a cold sweat, my heart pounding as the last whispers of the dream slipped away.

One night I saw my sister in my sleep, her smile just as I remembered it, her hand in mine as we walked on a beach. She asked me to come home, and I glanced down, seeing the bulge of my growing child. Her eyes followed mine and she touched my belly. "A wee demon, that's what it is."

Her words chilled me and I searched her face, dismayed to find tears standing in her eyes.

"Demon or no, he's mine," I whispered, meaning the child, but I was looking past my sister, to the outline of a man on a hill, a man I knew was Asvald. Kalin turned and waved to the form, before facing me again. Her golden eyes seemed to bore a hole right through my chest, like a beautiful sun that quickly blisters skin.

"You made your choice," she whispered and started backing away from me. I reached out to grap her wrist but it was already too far away. When I tried to move forward toward her, my feet felt heavy as a ship's anchor and I couldn't move. I screamed as she walked away from me and straight into the sea until she disappeared under the waves.

That scream is what woke me from the dream, tears coating my face. Asvald leaned over me on his elbow, brow furrowed with concern. "What is it?"

I closed my eyes and gulped for air, my chest squeezed in a tight fist. The homesickness left me breathless and shaken. The desire to see my home was so strong I felt I could run arcoss the sea back to Ireland.

"My sister," I hissed out from between my clenched teeth, in an attempt to hold in the sobs.

"Love," he whispered sleepily and pulled me into his arms, holding my head to his chest like a child who had just fallen and scraped his knee. But he did not say anything else, he just waited for me to relax against him. I found it odd that the same man who had caused this pain was now trying to ease it away. For a moment, I wanted nothing more than to cuff him on the side of his head and scream in his face. Damn fool of a man, he was.

But then he spoke the most sincere words I had heard him say in a long time. "I am sorry." The words rang with honesty and the pain of his own guilt. Perhaps his mistakes became the demons that tortured him at night.

I curled closer to him and inhaled his scent deeply, wanting to draw it into my heart. "Thank you," I whispered and kissed the smooth skin of his neck.

"We make choices, _kone_ , and sometimes we hate the choice itself, yet we love the result." His hand went to my stomach, underneath so he could feel a bit of the weight of the babe. "I want to tell you that if I had the chance to go back and undo it, I would let you stay with your family and pass on by. But I cannot say that I could do that, knowing that I would have all of this," he paused and patted my bump. "I put you through the worst emotional pain a person can feel. I love you too much, _kone,_ a selfish love that wants you here with me, even if you would be happier with your family."

I let his words soak into my soul for a while and simply breathed. Finally I spoke. "I would not be happier with my family. I am sorry, again, for acting like I would be, but it's not true. I love this land, I love the people, and I love you and this baby." I grabbed his hand which caressed my belly and trailed my finger over the back of it, enjoying the tickle of light blond hairs under the sensitive tip. "Let it comfort you, husband, that if I left right now to go back to my family, I would be most unhappy and spend most of my time longing to have your arms around me again."

A warm silence dropped between us, but did not separate us. The link of our echoed breathing kept us close to each other's bodies and the worries of life faded away and there was just the two of us. Well actually, the three of us.

{}

It was two weeks later that I was at the river washing clothes when Alanna came running into the clearing. Alanna and I had grown almost as close as sisters over the last few months, and she settled into Norse life with an ease that almost made me jealous.

"Eachna! The chieftain, he is very ill! Groa needs you!" Alanna called before running away once again. Feeling my heartbeat pick up speed, I pushed myself to my feet and groaned, my back aching. Moving as fast as I could, I headed for the village.

I reached our longhouse and Groa met me in the doorway. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes held more panic than I'd ever seen there before.

"Oh thank God that you're here. Please, take the children," she said and the little ones clung to my dress.

"What is happening?" I asked, reaching out to take her hand. Her eyes filled with tears.

"It's Bork. His heart is failing," she whispered and slipped back into the dark house. I heard Bork's moans and heard Asvald's voice as he comforted his father.

Taking Ulf and Thord's hands, I led them toward the ocean. _"Kom igjen, små."_ I said, telling them to come. Ulf and Thord splashed in the foamy surf, laughing and splashing one another. Inga sat beside me in the sand, her face in her hands. Sibbi was standing with his feet in the water, staring grimly out over the clear blue ocean.

"He's going to die, is he not?" She asked in Norse, looking up at me with sad green eyes.

"I do not know, little one," I said. She just sighed and shook her head.

My baby kicked and rolled inside me and I reached out to take the girl's hand, placing it on my belly. "He is kicking. Can you feel it?"

Her eyes widened and for a moment she seemed to forget that her father was dying. "Yes! Doesn't that hurt?"

I shook my head with a smile. "No, it does not hurt. It reminds me that I am growing a little person."

She smoothed both hands over my bump, watching intently. "It is amazing, yes?"

I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "Yes it is."

A short time later, Asvald came walking slowly to the beach, trying hard to hold in the tears. I got to my feet, ready to receive him. Instead of coming to me, he went to Ulf and lifted him to his hip, and placed his hand on Thord's head. They gazed up at him, wanting their questions answered. Inga and Sibbi went to his side, both of them crying. Inga wrapped her arms around his waist and cried into his shirt.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched Asvald comfort his brothers and sisters. He would make an excellent father. My hand drifted to my belly and I rubbed, feeling the baby's foot through my skin.

Asvald put space between him and the children, and came to stand in front of me.  
"I am Chieftain now."

I looked at him, my lips turning down as tears rolled down my cheeks. "I am sorry, husband."

He leaned down to kiss me, then turned to wander off into the forest. I sighed and gathered the children to bring them back to Groa's home

{}

It was late and Asvald had not returned home yet so I spent the evening talking with Alanna and preparing for the baby, who was due to be born in around two months.  
Alanna, Groa, and I were already in our beds when Asvald finally returned. He came into the longhouse looking mournful and heartbroken. I reached out for him like I would a child and he came to me, burying his face in my shoulder.

"He's gone, Eachna. He's gone," he mumbled into my shoulder, feeling the wetness of his tears on my skin. _Was my husband, the all-powerful Norseman,_ _crying_ _?_

"All is well, my love. You will be fine," I whispered. With a sigh of anguish, he pulled back and kissed me fiercely, as if trying to force his pain away. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. He took my lower lip between his teeth, his tears wetting my cheeks, his hands gripping me tightly to the point of pain. I pulled away, for he was hurting me in his grief. Once again he cuddled into my shoulder, fisting his hands in my dress to keep me close.

"Easy, love," I murmured and stroked his hair as he wept. Finally, he took a few shuttering breaths and looked up at me with bloodshot eyes.

"My father is gone...I am the chieftain," he said, his voice scratchy from crying.

"I know." I looked him in the eye and smiled. "You will be a kind, loving, and respected leader."

Sighing, he buried his nose in my hair and breathed in my scent. "I love you, _minn fagr kone_."

{}{}{}

It was only a matter of weeks before Asvald adjusted to being the leader of a large group of people. He also became the owner of eighteen farms. Not only was he carrying that responsibility around, but he was also about to become a father. My belly seemed huge and I was most thankful that Asvald did not see me unclothed very often.

On one chilly evening, Asvald and I sat by the cliff and watched the gray ocean roll gently against the shore.

"Asvald, I want to teach our baby of my God. I do not want him to grow up believing in your heathen gods," I said while twisting a blade of grass between my fingers.

"Are you worried for his soul?" Asvald asked, giving me a crooked smile.

"If the child grows to believe what you believe, then aye, I would be concerned for his soul. Also, we do not know if it will be a son. My heart is telling me it's a girl," I said, grinning back at him.

"Alright. I care not what gods he believes in," Asvald said and picked up a smooth stone and threw it as far as he could out into the frothy water.

"Also, you will never strike our child. Promise me," I said, my smile vanishing as I stared into his eyes.

"You may do the disciplining of a daughter. If it is a son, as I know it will be, I will discipline him as I see fit," Asvald said firmly, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

I sighed but nodded. "Fair enough. As long as you never truly hurt him." I paused for a moment and placed my hand over Asvald's. "If it does turn out to be a son, I do not want him to go on raids when he becomes a man. I want him to be honorable."

Asvald's eyes flashed angrily to mine. "He will be a Norseman and the son of a chieftain. He _will_ go on raids and he will conquer many lands."

My eyes filled with tears. "No. The child is not only of Norse blood. The child is Irish as well. Just like you are part English."

Asvald growled. "Do not ever mention that I have English blood ever again. Do you hear me?"

"Are you ashamed of your mother? My God, Asvald, she gave your life to you and yet you resent her bloodline?" I ripped up a handful of grass in my agitation and started shredding the blades.

"Enough!" He bellowed and it echoed through the still air. I ducked my head and shut my mouth, but still boiling with anger. Tears rolled down my cheeks, much to my shame.

After a short moment, I looked up at him. "Damn you, Asvald! This child is mine, and you know that. _Mine._ Inside _me_ , needing _me_ for life. I will decide what to teach him and how to teach him."

"Ah, he may be safe inside you now, but once he is born, he is at the mercy of my hands. I can decide if he lives or dies. If I choose not to acknowledge him, you will have to abandon him. Anyone could kill him and it would not be murder," Asvald threatened with fury in his eyes.

Though my heart was pounding, I would not let him intimidate me. "You jest. You would never kill your own child."

He shrugged and gave me a look that said, _Want to test me?_

I slowly got to my feet and waddled back into the house. Alanna was sitting by the fire, her chin in her hands. Her eyes met mine as I walked in.

"Are you well, Eachna?" she asked, frowning at me with concern.

I nodded, though I was fighting tears. "I am well." I sat beside her and rested my head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around me and rubbed my arm.

"What did he do?" She whispered and watched the doorway. We both got uneasy when Asvald's temper was evoked.

"He threatened to kill our baby once it's born. He has the power to do so," I murmured, trying to keep my anger at bay.

Alanna rolled her eyes and shook her head. "That man is a piece of-" she paused and glanced at the little ones in the room. Thord stared back at her for a moment before flashing her a smile. Alanna sighed loudly and looked back at me. "We all know he has temper and of course he didn't mean it."

Nodding, I pressed my palm to my stomach and took a few deep breaths. "He loves me and the child."

Later that day when Asvald came in for the evening meal, I asked him if he was serious about killing our child.

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. "I was just angry, my beautiful one. I did not mean anything I said. Will you forgive me?"

I sighed and nodded, used to Asvald and his moods. "I suppose. You really must work on keeping control of yourself, Asvald." The man had serious problems control his tongue, along with his temper. But then again, so did I.

He laughed. "Aye, it seems I have no self-control at all."

"It's not a jest, Asvald. You need to get it under control." I folded my arms over my chest and stared sternly up at him.

He tried hard not to smile. "Yes, dear." He kissed my forehead. "I still say it's a boy."

I lowered my head, biting my lip. "If you want him to raid, that's fine. It's your- our – culture, so if that is what you want, I will not stand in your way." The words were difficult to say, but it was time that I accepted his way of life.

Leaning down, he kissed my cheek and patted my belly. "My sweet wife. Thank you."

…

Later that evening, Asvald and I lay in bed with a good amount of space between us. I was still angry with him, even though he said he didn't mean anything he said about killing the baby.

Asvald knew I was upset, and kept glancing at me and sighing. Finally he said,

"I did not say I _would_ kill our child, I said that I _could_ if I wanted to."

I pressed my lips together and looked at him from narrowed eyes. "Why would it matter anyway? Why do you always have to hold your power over me?"

He chuckled. "Because you're always testing it." He rolled to face me and put an arm over my waist, tugging me toward him. "You may be Irish, but you have turned into quite a Norsewoman."

I cuddled next to him, but stayed silent, still unsure about my feelings. Our child kicked inside me, and poked an elbow into my rib. I laid my hand over the spot where a little foot showed through my skin and poked the baby back.

Asvald was watching me play with our unborn child, a smile resting on his lips.

"I love you both so much," he murmured, and pressed his fingertips into my belly where the baby last kicked, and a moment later, the baby kicked back.

I giggled and lifted my face toward Asvald, who placed a sweet kiss on my lips. "You make me angry sometimes and you speak without thinking, but I love you."

Asvald kissed me again and smoothed my hair with his hands. He knows I love it when he touches my hair. I sighed and leaned into his touch.

"Have you been missing your family?" Asvald asked softly, still stroking my hair.

I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, breathing in his scent. "No, not too much," I whispered. It was true, my family was starting to fade away as my future with Asvald and my child got brighter.

"That's good," he said and kissed my forehead.

I looked up at him and grinned. "You're in a loving mood tonight."

"Mmm, I want to hold you," he whispered and wrapped his arms around me. Asvald didn't usually like to cuddle.

"Asvald..." I whispered and trailed my fingers over his chest and over his stomach muscles. "I am glad that I came to be here."

Asvald rolled so I was under him, though he was careful not to put any of his weight on my belly. He looked down into my eyes, smiling. "You're happy," he said.

I nodded. "Aye, very."

He moved off me and I turned my back to him. He moved up behind me, the whole length of the front of his body touching the back of me. He draped an arm over my waist, keeping one hand on my belly. I closed my eyes and soaked in the warmth of his body, for the nights were getting quite cold. He nuzzled into my neck, placing soft kisses there. I was loving all the affection.

As we fell asleep together, I wondered how I could have ever slept alone.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

My time came in the dark of an icy winter night. I woke to the labor pains, like a fist wrapped around my insides and squeezing. Trying not to yell, I woke Asvald and he helped me walk into the main room and wake Alanna and Groa, who put some water over the fire. I wanted to hold my baby, but at that moment, the fact that within a matter of hours I would be a mother was more overwhelming than my fears of the pain or possible death, or even the desire to nurse my little one.

"Oh God, oh God," I groaned o8ut of fear and paced, my heart racing in fear. "Don't let me die, please," I prayed, needing some kind of comfort. Another pain gripped my belly and I cried out, panicked.

"You're alright, Eachna," Groa mumured gently, though she made no attempt to touch me.  
I let out a long drawn-out moan and then the pain left me. With a sigh of relief, I sat by the fire and tried to eat some bread and butter to give me strength through the long night ahead. My lips moved in silent prayer, my hands moving constantly over my tight, round belly.

Alanna took the children to spend the night with Halla and her husband, and when she returned, the midwife was with her.

"There will be no heathen prayers. I want no chants to your gods. Alanna will pray for me, won't you?" I asked and looked at her. She nodded with a smile.

For hours they left me alone, letting me lie down when I wanted to, and letting me pace when I wanted to. The pains were unbearable, and sometimes I would burst into tears until it faded. I never faced any pain like that before.

When I felt that the baby was coming, I wanted to lie down, but Groa insisted that I squat, that it would be better for me and the baby. I did as I was told, and Groa next behind me, supporting my back and keeping me steady. The midwife was in front of me, ready to catch the baby. The pain blurred my eyesight, and it seemed like a never-ending groan poured from my mouth. I felt the crown of the baby's head emerge, gasping at the horrible burning pain.

Groa murmured encouragement in my ear and rubbed my lower back. The midwife guided the baby's shoulders, and seconds later, the baby slipped out in a wet rush. I gasped with relief.

"It's out?" I asked in shock, staring down at my red baby. "It's over?"

Groa laughed and patted my shoulder and kissed my sweaty cheek. "It's over, Eachna. Your baby is here."

Though I had been staring at the baby, I finally truly saw it, a smile appearing on my face as I looked upon its little wrinkled body, and heard its cries of surprise and anger from being forced from my safe, warm womb. The midwife was wiping the child off with a soft rag, but I pulled it away to see that I had given birth to a son. Asvald had been right. It was a darling little boy, delicate and red. I almost laughed as I realized that newborns were honestly not pleasant to look at, and were only beautiful to their own parents.

"Hello baby," I whispered as tears flooded my eyes, so much in awe of this little person I had created that I could hardly speak. I cried happy tears as the midwife cut the baby's cord and counted his toes and fingers. But I knew even before she told me. He was perfect.

{}

Once the afterbirth was delivered, Groa helped me over to the bed and I laid down, thankful for the relief. While I was laboring, a large skin had been draped over the doorway, to give me some privacy. Alanna pulled back the skin to allow me to see the early morning sky, brimming with vibrant color, a faded glory that refreshed me and encouraged me.

"A new day for the beginning of a new life," Alanna said and came back to my side to kiss my cheek. I smiled and the midwife laid my newborn son on my chest so I could nurse him. The baby calmed at the warmth of my skin, his head turning to the side to latch on to my breast. I gasped at the beauty of this moment, and more tears slid down my cheek. It hurt to nurse him, for it caused cramps in my belly and his jaws were strongly clamped down on my nipple, but it did not ruin how perfect it was. The child cooed, and his tiny hand pressed to my skin.

"I love you," I whispered and touched the soft blond hair on top of his head with my fingertips. My son opened his eyes fully for the first time, blinking up at me with grey-blue eyes. My smile widened and my heart stretched to hold all the love I felt for my baby. He smelled sweetly of newborn, his little body warm against me, his skin soft and tender.

"My little bump. You will always be my little bump," I murmured down to him with love. This was the best day of my life.

It was later that afternoon when Asvald came into the longhouse. I had spent most of the morning sleeping, but I awoke when he entered.

"Are you well, _kone_?" He asked, kneeling beside the bed and taking my hand.

I smiled and caressed his cheek. "I am well, though a bit sore and tired."

"May I hold our child?" he asked, looking at our sleeping baby in my arms. I gently lifted him up and placed him in Asvald's waiting arms.

"Meet your son," I said, proud of my little family. Then I realized something. This was the first time I'd thought of Asvald as my family. Our son made everything seem perfect, like every bit of pain and every day of loneliness was meant to be.

Asvald smiled at the child and touched his finger to our son's cheek. "He has your nose."

I laughed. "Aye, and he has your eyes and your lips."

"And your chin," he said and his eyes met mine. "He is beautiful. Thank you, _kone_."

I gave him a nod and lifted my arms for my son. Asvald places him back in my arms.

"In nine days we will have the naming ceremony," Asvald said, smiling warmly at us.

"What will you call him?" I asked, stroking my son's downy hair.

"You will find out in nine days." He leaned down and gives me a long, deep kiss. I was glad that in due time, Asvald would join with me once again.

A little more than a week went by, and it was time for our son to be named. I got up and dressed in my finest blue dress to show my status of the chieftain's wife. I nursed him before walking slowly to the common hall, still a bit sore from the birth and trying not to slip on the snow-covered ground, Alanna by my side.  
Opening the heavy wooden door with one hand, I stepped into the crowded hall, thankful for the warmth.  
Asvald was at the front of the room and his voice echoed off the walls. "Today we welcome new life into our village. A new child has been born! Who bore this child, come forth and identify yourself!"

With shaky legs, I stepped forward through the parted crowd. "I am Eachna and I bore this child," I said and stooped to place our child at his feet. The child cried and I yearned to comfort him, my breasts tingling with the urge to nurse. Before much longer, his cries would cause my milk to leak.

"I am Asvald, son of Bork, and I sired this child," Asvald said and I blushed. He continued, "I recognize the child, named Toki, as my son and swear by the gods to raise him to be a fine warrior." Asvald drank from a horn of mead then bent to lift our son into his arms. I smiled when our son, Toki, stopped fussing because he knew who is father was.

Asvald turned to face me and asked, "Do you, Eachna, accept me as the child's father and swear by the gods to raise him as a warrior of this village?"

I wasn't quite happy about the warrior part, but I said, "I do so swear." Taking the horn of mead from Asvald, I took a sip.

Asvald lifted Toki into the air and shouted, "Here is my son Toki, welcome him to this village!"

The crowd all shouted back, "Toki, we welcome you!"

"It is done," Asvald said and laid Toki in my arms once again, then placed a kiss on my cheek. "You have made me most happy," he whispered. His praise warmed my heart.

{}{}{}

That night Asvald slept beside me, and Toki slept in a cradle alongside our bed. Lying on my belly, I watched Toki as he slept, his little lips parted in sleep, his fist tucked up by his cheek.  
Asvald propped himself up on his elbow and peered over my shoulder at our son. His bare chest pressed to my own bare shoulders. I could feel the wisps of his chest hair against my soft skin.

"He is perfect." His breath tickled my ear. Without seeing his face, I could hear the smile in his voice.

I smiled and touched my fingertips to my baby's belly. "I know. Look at his golden hair! It matches yours," I whispered affectionately and gently stroked the tuft of blond hair atop the babe's head.

"You did well, my love." He kissed my cheek and laid down again. Smiling, I rolled to face my husband and trailed my lips along his jawline before pulling back to search his eyes, finding sleepiness and tenderness.

"There is only one thing that is bringing me sorrow. I wish my mother could be here to see my child, along with my sister. I wish they could know that I've had a baby," I whispered, fighting old emotions I longed to escape from. The hope that Toki would ease that pain was still present in my heart and I didn't want to lose that hope.

Asvald looked at me, and I could tell he was trying to be compassionate. "Your brothers learned that you are married all those months ago. I am sure that your family will assume that at one point or another, you would have a child. For now, focus on the family you and I just created."

I kissed him softly, and my body started to react in wanting him. Pulling away, I tried to dampen the flames of desire I felt, reminding myself that I had just given birth a week before.

"I'm glad the baby is born. Now I don't have to share your body with someone else," Asvald mumured and nuzzled my neck.

"We still have to wait until my bleeding stops," I told him, though I loved the affection.

"Mmm," he hummed and kissed my neck before putting some space between us. "I eagerly await that."

I smiled. Everything just kept getting better.

{}

I gained new respect from the villagers since I had given Asvald a son. Being the chieftain's wife was actually quite fun. People would trip all over themselves trying to please me, to get in my favor.

Life was difficult in a new way as I got up in the night to nurse Toki and my temper was more easily provoked.

But the most special times were when Toki cried in the night for milk, and I would lie on my side as he nursed, his warm little body cuddled to my side and Asvald would wake up and watch over my shoulder. I loved those special moments with the men in my life.

"I was right," he told me and kissed my shoulder. "You are a wonderful mother."

I smiled and stroked Toki's cheek. "He deserves the best of me. He deserves the world."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

While I waited for the time Asvald and I could be intimate again, I tried to think of ways to keep myself busy. I decided to help Edna, a girl who had been one of my friends in Ireland, who was captured in the raid with me. I had seen her around the village, tending to her work as a thrall. Each time I saw her, she seemed weaker and more pale, looking like a skeleton with skin stretched over it. She was a bed thrall, and her master was not a kind fellow. I decided that I would help her either find a new master or earn her freedom.

I waited for her by the docks, where she went every few days to buy fish for her master. She had a basket under her arm, and her face was thin and weary, her blond hair dirty and mangled. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out into her way, blocking her.

"Hello, Edna," I said and offered her a smile.

Her eyes looked hollow, and I wondered if she remembered who I was. "Hello." Her voice sounded just as hollow as her eyes looked.

"Are you well?" I asked, frowning. It was a stupid question, since obviously she wasn't well at all.

Her bony shoulders rose and fell as she sighed. "I am a thrall." As if that defined her well-being. Perhaps it did. I could recall being Jabez's slave and the sting of his belt.

Sorrow for her made my chest hurt. "I can help you."

Hopelessness made her face shadowed and weary, and her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke. "It is too late for me, Eachna. My heart has stopped. I am cold as stone."

I shook my head and took her hand. "No, I don't believe that. I will ask Asvald to buy you and you may stay with us, until we give you your freedom."

A flicker of excitement showed in her eyes then disappeared. "I can ask noting from you. You should not even be speaking to me."

I chuckled. "Oh hush. We've been friends for a long time."

Her eyes narrowed. "Why have you not spoken to me in so long if we are such good friends?"

The betrayal I saw there in her expression burned me deeply and guilt stung me. "I have had my own trials to handle."

"Oh yes, that's right. Making love to your husband and having his child. How could I forget?" Her tone was bitter and sharp.

"I am trying to help you," I said quietly, keeping calm despite her angry words.

She sighed and hung her head. "I know. And thank you. I will accept whatever help you can give me." She glanced over her shoulder at someone and said, "I have to go now." She darted away before I could say another word.

Sighing, I turned and faced the ocean, looking past the fishing boats and longships that blocked my view. My thoughts turned to Ireland, and how I wished I could see my family again soon.

"Eachna, get out of the way," I heard Asvald's voice and saw that he was standing in front of me, holding one end of a net that was filled with flopping fish. Another man held onto the other side.

I covered my nose and stepped out of the way. "Asvald, when you have a moment, I need to speak with you."

He looked over his shoulder at me. "I am busy now, wife. I will speak with you later." He continued his work and I stood watching. His broad shoulders flexed as he worked, the muscles in his back bunching and releasing. My God, he was handsome. Mmm, I couldn't wait to get him back in my arms and between my thighs.

I blushed at my thoughts and quickly left the docks. I returned home, where I had left Toki in Groa's care.

When I entered, I saw Groa rocking Toki gently in her arms, singing a Norse lullaby. Toki was fussy and squirming in her arms, his little face red and wrinkled. I smiled and went to them, holding out my arms for my baby.

"Thank you for watching him, Groa," I said as she placed in him my arms. I sat down beside her.

She smiled and touched her fingertips to the thick, fuzzy patch of light blond hair on Toki's head. "Oh, it was a pleasure. He's such a handsome boy, Eachna."

"He is," I cooed, and unbuttoned my dress so I could nurse him. Usually I wouldn't want to do that in front of anyone but Asvald, but Groa was there when I gave birth and it seemed silly to be shy around her now. Toki latched on and calmed, his little fists tucked under his chin as he nursed. His eyes stayed locked on mine, and my chest tightened at this beautiful bonding experience.

"How are you feeling, Eachna?" Groa asked as she went to her loom, settling down on the bench. Her back faced me and I was grateful for the privacy.

I smiled ruefully. "I've felt better. I am so tired from waking up in the night every few hours to feed him. I've been grumpy from lack of sleep and that is affecting Asvald."

"He's quite accustomed to it, actually. When he was a bit younger and still a boy living here at home, he would help me with the newborn babies. Ulf is nearly four years old now, but when he was newly born, Asvald helped me care for him."

I nodded and grinned down at Toki. "That certainly makes sense. He's quite good with Toki."

"I'm glad he is being a good father. Didn't I tell you two years ago that Asvald is a good man?" Groa laughed and I laughed with her.

"Aye, you did. Maybe if I had listened to you, I might have saved myself a bit of trouble," I said and laughed. I always had trouble listening to people older and wiser than myself.

Groa chuckled but didn't say anything. I finished nursing Toki, and was ready to return to my house. I went to Groa and kissed her cheek and said goodbye.

Once back in my own longhouse, I laid Toki down for his nap and began to think about how I could help Edna. Maybe I could convince Asvald to buy her, and then we could grant her freedom. That seemed like the best plan.

Asvald returned home a short time later, looking tired from working on the docks.

"I need to talk to you about something important, Asvald," I said as I helped him out of his cloak.

"What is it, love?" He asked and wrapped his arm around my waist. My God, I loved the feel of him near me.

"One of my friends who was captured with me is a bed thrall. Her master is unkind and treats her poorly. I want you to buy her from him so we can free her," I said pleadingly, praying he would agree.

Asvald grabbed my arm. "Listen Eachna. Your friend belongs to her master and I will not take her away from him simply to give her freedom. If I gave every Irish captive in this village freedom, we wouldn't have hardly any thralls. No, I can't do that."

My heart sunk. I wished he would do this for me. "Well, I will do everything I can to help her."

"No, you won't. I want you to stay away from her. Don't go starting trouble with another man's woman," he said and let go of my arm.

I pouted, but didn't try to argue with him. I would help my friend, whether he told me to or not.

{}

That night we cuddled close together, simply nuzzling and kissing playfully, not passionately.

As we cuddled and kissed, Asvald's hand brushed my side and I let out a squeal, then quickly covered my mouth with my hand. Damn it.

Asvald's mouth tipped up in a smirk. "What's this? Are you ticklish?"

I shook my head no, but that was a lie. I was very ticklish. I was surprised he had not found that out until just now.

He wiggled his fingers against my side and I howled with laughter, kicking him in the belly. He groaned, then laughed with me.

The baby ruined our fun by choosing that moment to start crying. We had woken him up. I started to rise to go to him, but Asvald got up first and lifted Toki to his shoulder, rubbing his little back while making soothing sounds at him.

"Hush, little man. I've got you. It's time to sleep now, yes it is," he murmured to our baby, whose eyes were starting to close. I remembered how Asvald acted when I first arrived here, angry and mean. It amazed me to watch him be so tender with our child.

Asvald kissed Toki's little neck softly and laid him down once again, then slipped under the blankets to my side once again.

"Alright, I won't tickle you because of the baby," he whispered and kissed my cheek.

"I think that's wise," I whispered back and let my hand wander down his belly. "I'll use my mouth on you if you let me help my friend."

Asvald stopped my hand. "That won't work on me, missy."

"Why can't I help her?" I asked, once again trying to plead with him. I would do anything to help Edna.

"I already told you," Asvald scolded gently. "Let it be, Eachna."

"She's my friend. I can't just let her suffer. Don't you understand?" I sat up and glared down at him.

"Keep your voice down, you'll wake up the baby. And aye, I do understand, but I'm telling you no." Asvald pulled me back down to his side. I turned my back on him and tried to get some sleep.

{}

The next morning I woke up tired because I had to get up many times in the night to feed Toki, though I forced myself to get up and finish this business of helping Edna. I gathered up a gold necklace Asvald had given me, a small dagger that belonged to Asvald, and one of my nice combs, and a few gold and silver coins. I wrapped the things up in some rich cloth and started out the door.

"Where are you going?" Alanna asked as she followed me out the door. She walked backwards while facing me, her eyes sparkling with challenge.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling at her. "I'm going to help a friend."

"Eachna!" Alanna gasped and grabbed my shoulders. We came to a stop and she shook my shoulders. "Asvald told you not to! You should listen to him or he'll lose that temper of his again. It's not a good idea."

I shook her off and kept walking. As much as I loved Alanna, she was bossy as hell. "Asvald can go drown in the river," I grumbled and squeezed the bundle of goods in my hand, hoping it would be enough to purchase my friend. Toki rested in the crook of my other arm, fast asleep despite Alanna's shouting.

She shook her head and grinned at me. "Sometimes you are so thick-sculled. If he beats you arse raw, don't come complaining to me." She flapped her hand at me as if dismissing me and marched back toward our longhouse.

{}

Once I reached the right longhouse, I ducked inside. Edna's master sat by the fire, while Edna fixed his breakfast. It seemed like she had a fresh bruise across her cheek and a small bite mark on her neck. Pity for her overwhelmed me.

"Ah, it's the chieftain's wife," Edna's master addressed me with a cheerful smile. With rotten teeth and a balding head and a round girth, he reminded me of a small whale. Poor Edna. "What can I do for ye, mistress?"

I forced a smile and came toward him. "I would like to buy your thrall, Edna. I have payment," I said and placed the bundle of goods in his hands.

"What ye be needing her for?" He asked, opening the package.

I struggled to think of something to say. "With the new baby, I need help in my home."

"Mmm." He picked up the dagger and tested it in his hand. "Why do ye want her? She's a tiny thing. Can't handle much work."

"I won't be needing someone who can handle a heavy load. She will do just fine," I said calmly, hoping he would let me have Edna.

He held up the necklace and let it sparkle in the firelight. "The problem is, she is carrying my child. Otherwise, I'd let you have her without payment. You are the lady of the village, after all."

"That isn't a problem. We'll take care of the baby. Unless you want to keep the girl and have another mouth to feed," I said and plucked the necklace out of his hand.

"No, you can have her," he said and took the necklace back, placing it beside the dagger.

I took Edna by the arm and led her back to my house, glancing about to make sure Asvald didn't see us. I would rather wait to face his wrath for another few hours.

I got her settled on a soft bed of furs and brought her some meat and cheese and bread. While she ate, I asked,

"Are you really with child?"

She shook her head and swallowed her mouthful of food. "No. I told him that in hopes that it would save me from the back of his hand. Among other things," she murmured.

I patted her knee gently. "I'm sorry, friend. Your life will be better now."

{}

I left her and Toki in the care of Alanna while I went down to the river to wash some clothes.

My back was aching by the time I was almost finished, and I gave a sigh of relief when the last shirt was clean. Just as I was about to spread the wet clothes over some bushes to dry, I heard someone bellow,

"Eachna!"

I winced and turned to see Asvald storming toward me. He came to a stop in front of me, his fists on his hips, his eyes dark and angry, a deep frown wrinkled his brow.

"Why is there a thrall in my house? An Irish thrall?"

I swallowed and tried to smile. "Uh, she's my, um, friend, and I uh thought that um, we could use some help around the house, and um..."

"You disobeyed me!" He shouted, and I fought the urge to cower away from him. I said nothing and hung my head, wanting to burst into tears. Asvald showed no mercy and grabbed my arm, dragging me through the village and up the hill to our longhouse.

Alanna saw Asvald's angry and smirked at me, shaking her head. _I told you so,_ she mouthed to me and grinned.

I stuck my tongue out at her, which earned a shake from Asvald to recapture my attention. He pointed to Edna. "How did she get here?"

"I paid for her," I mumbled, wincing at his tight grip on my arm. He would leave bruises.

"With what?" He asked, still angry and his chest heaved. I had not seen him this furious in a long time.

Even Groa looked a little shook up. Thankfully, the children weren't home, probably out playing with the other children.

"Just some things that were lying around," I answered, trying to skirt around the question.

"What. Did. You. Pay. With?" He asked slowly, his grip on my arm tightening.

"Ow," I muttered. "I paid him with your dagger and a necklace you have me, a comb, and some coins. Alright? Now let me go!" I jerked against his grip, feeling humiliated in front of his mother and my friends. Alanna acted like she wasn't paying attention as she held wee Toki in her arms, but the slight smile on her lips gave away her lie. Edna watched with wide-eyes, her arms curled around her knees which were drawn up to her chest.

He released my arm and gave me a little shove. It had been a long time since he had been this rough with me. But then again, I kind of provoked it this time.

"So you stole from me as well? When are you going to learn, woman?" He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. "Your friend is going back to her master and you," he pointed at me, "will be taught a lesson."

My heart started pounding, but I put my fists on my cocked hips. "What are you going to do? Whip me?"

My face flushed when Alanna covered her mouth with her hand to hold in a giggle. I whirled towards her, ready to give her a piece of my mind, but Asvald turned me roughly back towards him.

He leveled his gaze on me and raised an eyebrow. "I might." He was being serious. He went to Edna and pulled her to her feet. As they headed for the door, I growled at Asvald, "Damn you and your fucking temper. And your fucking pride!" I hardly ever swore so fiercely, but I felt this was a special occasion. Groa gasped at my filthy language.

Asvald threw a glare at me over his shoulder, then they were gone. I turned and took Toki in my arms, and rushed into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Shaking with aftershocks of strong emotion, I went to the bed and lay down, settling Toki between my breasts, lying on his little belly, his cheek pressed to my skin.

My mind flashed back to when I was first brought here. How afraid I was and how Asvald had treated me. I felt the same why now that I had felt back then. Why did I love this man? He stole me from my home and my family, and had treated me so badly at first.

Toki whimpered in his sleep and I looked down at him, feeling a small bit of pain melting in my heart. One reason I loved Asvald was because we had a child together. But was that good enough? Had I only fallen in love with Asvald because I had no other choice?

My thoughts were interrupted when Asvald returned, looking as angry as he had when he left. Standing in the doorway of our bedroom, he glared at me. "Put Toki down, Eachna, and come here."

My legs shook as I got up from the bed and lay Toki down again and went to Asvald, my stomach turning. _Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me._

He took my arm and led me to the bed, and made me lay down on my belly, lifting my dress up to my knees. Oh God. I wasn't about to beg him to stop.

"Don't you dare, Asvald," I hissed as he removed his belt. My heart beat so hard I could feel it in my head. Memories of Jabez's beatings came back to me and I cried out loudly in fear, which woke Toki, who started screaming in his cradle.

"You disobeyed me," Asvald said, his voice deadly quiet. His folding his belt and slapped it against his thigh in warning. The cracking of the leather made me squeeze my eyes shut as I felt true terror grip me.

"I'm not a dog who didn't come when you called," I snapped, grinding my teeth together as I braced for the first strike.

"If you continue arguing with me, I'll strike you twice as many times," he threatened.

I tried to jump up to run away but he caught me in a second and pushed me back down.

"Lie still," he growled.

"Asvald, how can you beat me after that Jabez did to me?" I cried, my whole body flushed in anger. "I still have the scars!"

He pressed his other hand into my lower back, pinning me down. "You need to be punished for your blatant disobedience. But I will not use the belt." He tossed it away. "I will strike you with my hands, though."

I sighed with relief. That wouldn't be so bad. He sometimes smacked my arse during passionate and rough lovemaking, and it never caused me much pain.

"Would you still learn your lesson?" He leaned down so his low voice was right next to my ear

I nodded rapidly. "Aye, whatever." Toki was still crying, and I wished the beating to be quickly over so I could get to him.

"Don't use that tone with me," he warned, then lifted my dress to reveal my backside. He brought one hand down and slapped me hard. It stung, but instead of letting out a cry of pain, I began to giggle. I buried my face in a blanket to try and hide it. He slapped me again and I felt my arse jiggle, and this time I laughed aloud.

"What is so funny?" He asked, highly frustrated. His evil plan wasn't working.

"Me arse is jiggling," I said and laughed again.

"I'll use the belt if you don't stop laughing," he threatened, but it seemed forced. I laughed harder and pressed my hands to my belly, gasping for air.

"Shut up, Asvald. You could never beat me," I said between gasps and giggles.

"I just did!" He cried, though his anger was gone and I could tell he was trying not to smile.

I got up from the bed, still laughing and shaking my head as I lifted Toki to my shoulder, rubbing his back and bouncing a little. He quieted and drooled on my dress.

I turned and faced Asvald again, my anger returning. I no longer felt like laughing. "You took my friend to the slaughter."

He sighed and dragged a hand down his face and over his beard. "Eachna, let it go."

"I cannot. Isn't there something you will do for her?" I asked, pleading with eyes.

Again he sighed and leaned down to touch his forehead to mine. "Damn it, Eachna. I am the chieftain. I have to be fair to everyone in my village, including all of the thralls. I can't free one for no real reason and not free the others."

"No real reason?" I repeated, feeling a pain in my heart. "It's my wish, and that not a real reason?"

He moved back, looking less than pleased. "You are not in my place and you do not understand. I have a responsibility."

"Aye, to me. I am your wife. I just had our baby!" I gestured with my head to Toki, who clutched my braid in his hands and sucked on the end of it.

Asvald jumped to his feet and threw up his hands. "I can't, Eachna! I can't do what you want me to do."

"Her life is horrid life is horrid and you do not even care," I murmured lowly, settled onto the bed.

Asvald came toward me and placed his hands on my arms. "Come now, love. There is nothing you can do."

I pushed him away from me with my free hand and strode out of the bedroom, and out of the longhouse, ignoring the curious glances of Groa and Alanna. They must have heard every single word of our conversation. The evening air cooled my anger, but my heart still ached. The sun was sinking low into the ocean, trying it gold and pink.

My stomach was in a knot and I didn't know where to go. As my mind wandered, I let my feet carry me until I reached Halla's longhouse. She was awake, sitting by her fire. I saw her husband behind her, mending a fishing net.

"Halla," I said softly, standing in the doorway. Tears were streaming down my face.

She looked up and quickly came to me, taking my hands in hers. "What's wrong, Eachna?"

"Would you take a walk with me?" My voice trembled and I bit down on my lip to hold in my tears. Toki still rested on my shoulder, his blue eyes wide as he watched the world around him. Halla's husband came forward and reached for the child. I allowed him to take the babe, and he cradled him against his chest.

Halla nodded and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. We walked to the river, our favorite place.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asked softly. Her blond hair glowed in the moonlight, her round face flushed. Groa's offspring all shared a natural beauty that sometimes took my breath away.

I went on to tell her about my friend and my plan to help her, and how it all went wrong.

"Hmm. You did disobey him, Eachna. But he acted rashly when he returned your friend to her master," she said, rubbing my back gently.

My chest tightened and more tears fell down my cheeks. "I just want my friend to be happy and safe."

"I know, Eachna. I'm so sorry," Halla whispered. "But he loves you and he tries to make the right choices. He couldn't strike you with his belt, because he loves you and doesn't want to harm you. You giggled when he tried to smack your ass, so he must not have caused pain."

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and I could smell the rain coming.

I shook my head and folded my arms over my chest. "I want to go home, Halla. I want to take Toki home so I can see my family again. I am so sick of Asvald and his temper. I forgave him for how cruel he was when I first came here and for nearly forcing me in bed with him. I forgave him over and over again. But I can't do it anymore." My legs were weak and I moved to sit on a large rock alongside the river, which looking like a roaring flow of black ink, instead of water.

Halla followed me, but didn't sit. She wrapped her arms around me. "I know you have forgiven him many times, and it is hard. But you are not perfect, either, and he has forgiven you for things, too. After all, that is how every relationship works. We have to keep forgiving and keep loving, otherwise we wouldn't have a single person to stand beside us."

She was right. I pressed my cheek against her belly, starting to sob.

By the time my tears ran out, a light rain was falling and I was starting to shiver.

"Do you want to go back to Asvald? I'm sure he is calm now," she said, stroking my damp hair.

My eyes were sore from crying and I was cold, but I didn't want to move. I cuddled closer to her. "Everything will be alright, won't it?"

"You know it will," she murmured back, then pulled me to my feet. "I'm done comforting you. It's time you went to Asvald. If we stay out any longer, we'll both fall ill."

We walked back to her home and retrieved Toki, then she walked me back to my longhouse and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

My stomach was in a knot again as I walked slowly into the longhouse. Groa glanced at me with pity at my soaked and miserable appearance. Alanna just flashed her sassy smile at me and tilted her head toward Asvald. He was kneeling, starting a fire. He saw me and got to his feet, wiping his hands on the front of his pants. He opened his mouth to talk.

I held up my hand. "Don't speak, Asvald." Sighing, I walked into the bedroom and to Toki's cradle, lying him down. He was fast asleep, his fist tucked up under his chin. He was beautiful.

Asvald came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "You're cold, love. And wet. You need to take off that dress."

My cheeks heated, but I didn't try to wiggle away. His warmth flowed into me, the gentle pressure of his body against my back.

"Would you let me help you or would that make everything worse?" He asked, his voice a gentle whisper in my ear. It had an effect on me that I didn't want to recognize.

My eyes dropped to my feet and I wanted to cry but all my tears were gone. "Asvald..."

"Look, Eachna, I'm sorry for taking your friend back. I swear, I'll find some way to help her. I will free her and find her a husband, and if anyone dares to question me, I will tell them it was a favor and gift to you. I will make it right, I promise." He placed a kiss on my neck.

I sighed. "I'm sorry for disobeying your wishes. And thank you."

He turned me around and lifted my chin with his finger. "The gods have blessed me with such an understanding wife."

I blushed from his praise. "Aye, well...flattery will get you anywhere."

He chuckled and patted my arse. "Does this hurt? Did I hit you too hard?"

I shook my head and giggled. "No. If I hadn't been so angry it would have been even more amusing."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't hurt you," he whispered and kissed my cheek. "Seems like even when I'm angry, I can't hurt you. You have tamed the mighty beast." He puffed out his chest, making me laugh.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him softly, though I was still questioning my love for him.

Asvald pulled away and cupped my face in his hands. "You are holding something back from me, I can feel it. Tell me what's wrong."

Tears filled my eyes and I glanced away. "I want to see my mother. When I was a younger girl and imagined what it would be like to bring a child into the world, I pictured my mother being by my side for each step of the way. Now I cannot have that and quite honestly, I mourn that. I want to go home."

Now Asvald's whole faced looked pained. "I cannot allow that, Eachna. Your place is here."

I covered my face with my hands, homesickness becoming a stabbing pain in my heart. I felt physically ill. "I need them, Asvald. I need them so much."

His hands caressed my sides but did little to comfort me. "I know you do, sweet one. But you are here now," he said and looked into my eyes. "Do not forget who I am. You cause trouble for yourself when you start forgetting that I am a Norseman and a Chieftain."

Moving slowly, I pulled off my wet dress and went to the bed and lay down. I covered my eyes with my hands once again to attempt to hold back my tears. "When will I ever be happy?"

Asvald followed me to the bed, and got in beside me. "Forget about your family back in Ireland. I am here and I will love you forever, and I will be your happiness, if you'll let me." His arm wrapped around my waist, bringing me close up against him. Sincerity showed in his face, but still I felt like my heart was breaking for the hundredth time.

My chest trembled with my held-in sobs. "If you loved me, you would allow me to see my family again."

He sighed and pressed his cheek to the top of my head. "And if you loved me, you wouldn't even say that. But I know about your pain, Eachna. And I know that no matter how much time passes, it will always be there. My mother suffered the same fate as you, and she still carries the pain of it in her heart."

I sniffed back some tears, letting out a high-pitched whine as a sob escaped from me.

Asvald pulled me over to face him, and his warm fingers wiped away my tears. "The reason I am not allowing you to return to your family is because I cannot risk losing you. Yes, I know that is selfish but it would kill me to lose you."

My tears slowed and I was able to breathe again. His words did make sense to me. If I returned to Ireland, I didn't know if I would have the strength to return to Norway with Asvald. "Hold me," I whispered and Asvald pulled me closer, kissed the tears off my cheeks before bringing his lips to mine.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

The last week of my recovery period ticked by. My body had healed, and I knew I was ready for Asvald to lie in my arms again.

{}

The sun was setting, the evening quiet and calm. Asvald would be home soon.

I spoke in a soothing voice to Toki as he rested in his cradle, his feet in his hands, his eyes fixed on me. He gurgled back at me and I laughed softly.

"Mmm, I love coming home to you," Asvald's voice said in my ear and startled me. I turned to face him.

"Hello Asvald," I said and wrapped my arms around him. "Do you know what?"

He leaned down and kissed my neck, his lips sending shivers down my spine. "What?"

"You're supposed to guess, love," I said and threaded my fingers into his hair.

"I don't want to guess, I want you to tell me so I can use my mouth for better things," he murmured and kissed my collarbones, though I knew he really wanted his lips on my breasts.

"Tonight...we can make love," I said and instantly his body began to react.

"Praise the gods," he moaned and brought his mouth to mine, kissing me with passion as he backed me into our bedroom and towards our bed. Grabbing the hem of my dress, he attempted to lift it over my head but I resisted.

"Wait," I said quickly, my face turning red. I began to chatter on and on. "I'm...my body is not the same as it was, as I'm sure you know, but I just want to sure that you understand that everything might not be exactly like it was, but I am hoping that you will still find pleasure-"  
He silenced me by placing my finger over my lips. "Quiet. You are still my beautiful wife."

"But my belly isn't as flat as it was, my waist is thicker. I am fat." My voice trembled, my eyes moist.

He tried to hold back his smile. "I like a fuller woman. Your breasts are larger as well and that makes me happy."

"But my belly..." I touched a hand to my stomach that poked out a little since Toki came along. It was true that I carried more weight in my thighs, tummy, hips, and ass. I didn't mind at all but I thought perhaps Asvald would.

"Your belly reminds me that you gave me a son," he said truthfully and covered my hand with his. "You are beautiful."

I smiled and he leaned down and kissed me gently, longingly. Slowly he began to lift my dress again and this time I let him remove it. His eyes roamed over me, over my full, pink-tipped breasts, my belly, the curves of my hips. The dark patch of curls between my thighs, my smooth, creamy thighs, and even my wee flat feet which looked more like flippers than feet.

"Ah, so beautiful," he said and pulled me into his arms, claiming my mouth again. I parted my lips and touched my tongue to his. Asvald's britches were getting a wee bit tight, so I pulled on the tie and yanked them down, and he kicked them away, never taking my mouth from his. When his hard manhood made contact with my belly, I gasped and removed my mouth from his, looking down upon him.

"I've missed that," I whispered, almost too embarrassed to say it out loud.

"Good," he growled and pushed me back onto the bed, shrugging out of his shirt. My hands instantly went to his chest, my fingers twisting in the golden curls there. Spreading my legs, he looked down upon me. My head became foggy and I just needed him. I needed him to be inside me. Moving up my body, he tried to control his breathing and kissed his way down my neck, heading toward my breasts.

"Stop," I said and he looked up at me. "Do not touch my breasts or my milk will leak." My face must have been bright red, I could feel the blood rush there. He kissed my heated cheek and whispered in my ear,

"Don't be ashamed. I do not mind." He avoided my breasts like I asked and played with my navel instead, tracing it with his tongue. His grunts of excitement made me ache even more for him, and I just couldn't take it anymore. Placing his hands on either side of my head, he met my eyes and thrust inside me. My lips parted and my eyes closed, and as he soaked in the feeling of my warmth around him, he couldn't help the guttural moan that passed his lips and his whole body trembled, having difficulty holding himself up. My legs wrapped around him, and when he moved against me, my heels pressed into his backside, forcing him deeper.

"Oh gods," he panted, overcome with need. He rolled his hips again, starting a fast pattern.

"Slow," I said, my voice scratchy. "Keep it slow. It's been awhile."

My head was so fogged, it took me a few moments to realize that he moved a bit slower, and rested his forehead on my shoulder, letting out moans to let me know what I was doing to him. My hands went to his back, my nails digging into him.

Lifting his head, he watched my face as I reached my peak, gasping for air.  
Asvald's body tensed and he ducked his head as he pushed deep inside me one last time, his seed spilling out to fill me.

He rolled off me and tried to catch his breath, intertwining his fingers with mine. It was then I realized that Toki was whimpering in his cradle. I groaned and got to my feet and went to him. He stopped crying as soon as he rested in my arms. I smiled as I lifted him to my shoulder, rubbing his tiny back soothingly. Toki's golden hair stuck up, his eyes blinking sleepily.

I settled Toki back into his cradle and slipped over the blankets to cuddle against Asvald's side again.

"I think we woke him with our passionate cries," I giggled, my fingers playing with the curly golden hairs on his chest. He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I suppose we did," he murmured. "Eachna?"

"Hmm?" I answered, already half-asleep. My body relaxed next to his.

He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. I closed my eyes and soaked up his warmth, feeling myself beginning to drift off. But before the darkness swallowed me completely, I heard him whisper, "I love you, Eachna."

My lips curled up just a bit at the corners, and then the sweet darkness carried me away.

{}

The next day I woke up with a sense of dread. Something was wrong. Something was going to happen, and I had a horrible gut feeling about it. Sitting up, I glanced about the room and saw that everything was in order, except that Asvald wasn't sleeping next to me. But that was nothing unusual, he often rose before I did to attend to his work. I dressed and washed my face. After re-braiding my hair, I changed Toki and joined the rest of the family in the main room.

Alanna greeted me with a grin and reached out for Toki, and I handed him over. Groa nodded at me. "Good morning."

I smiled and went to wrap an arm around her shoulders. With soft brown hair and big hazel eyes, a round, gentle face, she was the very image of beauty and motherhood. "Indeed, it is a fine morning." I couldn't keep the smirk off my lips.

Alanna came to my side and waved her hand in my face. "Oh, don't act like it's such a big secret. We all heard what you and Asvald were up to last night."

I threw my head back and laughed. "I apologize if we disturbed your sleep." We all laughed together and I felt aglow with the warmth of the love I was surrounded with. I would never imagined two years ago that my life would end up like this. Imperfectly perfect.

Alanna placed Toki on his little mat beside the loom, where he lay on his belly and watched us work, his little arms and legs pumping. "Ah ah ah!" he grunted, a little bubble of spit of his lip.

We all stilled as the ground seemed to hum beneath our feet.

"What is that?" Groa frowned and reached for Ulf, drawing him to her side. I went tense, listening. A sound like thunder shook the longhouse. But it wasn't thunder. It was hoof beats.

Thord grabbed my hand, and hid behind me. My heart pounded and I started toward the door, wanting to peak out and see what was going on. But all of a sudden, screams rose up and filled the air. Terror arched through me and I felt Thord tighten his grip on my hands. I looked at Groa, not knowing what to do.

"It's a raid, a neighboring village probably," she whispered, her eyes closing for a moment before fixing on me with chilling strength. "Hide the children. They will be upon us soon."

Alanna sprang into action, pushing the children under the beds and tossing blankets over them. I stayed frozen in place, my mind numb as I listened to the sounds of battle, seeing it through the doorway, the men with swords, and the blood that stained the road. Stepping cautiously into the doorway, I called out into the midst of the fighting, "Asvald! Asvald!" I searched the faces, seeing Ragi engaged in a fight with three other men, and Halla's husband, whose face was smeared with blood.

"Eachna, step away from there!" Groa shouted and I screamed with fright, retreating into the longhouse. Toki! I turned and started to bend to pick him up from the floor, when suddenly I felt two strong arms around my waist, lifting me up and away. Screaming, I kicked and struggled against him, but it did little good.

I saw Groa cowering in a corner, and Alanna was nowhere in sight. Smoke burned my nose, and as I was pulled out of the longhouse, I saw that the roof was on fire.

"Toki!" I screamed and kicked against the strong man who held me. "Please, my babe is in there! He will burn!"

The man ignored me and tied my hands together with rope, then my ankles. I sobbed and watched franticly as the house burned quickly. The air was thick with the smoke, for several other nearby houses were also burning. The man in battle disappeared into the smog, leaving only the sounds of their screams and the clank of their swords. I watched as Groa and her children ran out of the longhouse and towards the woods.

"Groa!" I screamed after them, praying she would hear me. "Toki is still in there!"

But she did not hear me and instead kept running, Ulf in his arms, Thord dragged behind her. Inga looked over her shoulder at me, but Sibbi tugged on her hand and they disappeared into the haze of the smoke.

I sobbed and screamed in rage. My child was burning and there was nothing I could do. Never in my left had I felt such a helplessness, an intense shredding in my chest. I was thrown across the horse and soon all I could see was the ground rushing past me. They were stealing me away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

My heart thudded wildly in my chest. I was draped over the back of a horse, my feet and hands tied. _My God, Toki was inside the burning house!_ Tears dripping from my cheeks as the ground sped past below me, making my head spin. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

The huge, ugly man who had captured me had his hand on my back, holding me onto the horse.

 _Please God, let Toki be safe. Protect him, and protect Asvald,_ I prayed, doing anything I could for the people I loved. But behind my closed lids, I saw Toki's face, screaming as he was swallowed by angry flames. _Oh God, protect him._

We rode for hours, and my whole body ached, but my fear numbed it. That night my captors stopped, allowing me and the other captives to rest. Both my feet and hands were tied to a tree, preventing me from moving even an inch. The northern lights wove across the starry sky, and tears rolled over my cheeks and into my ears. My breasts ached painfully from too much milk and I wanted to remove some, so my body would continue to make milk for when Toki and are I are reunited, but of course I couldn't, for my hands were tied. I had to believe that he somehow survived. I could not allow myself to believe in his death.  
The night dragged on and I finally fell asleep.

{}

Morning came and my captor woke me with a kick. My eyes flew open and I glared up the man's cruel brown eyes. His nose was large and crooked, his cheeks and chin covered in a long, unkempt black beard.

"What are your plans for me?" I asked in Norse, jerking against the ropes that restrained me.

He sneered at me. "You are a chieftain's wife. You are here for ransom."

"If you harm me, Asvald will kill you," I growled and tried to sit up. The ropes made it impossible.

He laughed, but it was in no way friendly. "Oh, not to worry. You will come to no harm if you do as you're told."

"What am I being told to do?" I asked quietly, telling myself to be brave. It wasn't my first time being captured by savage Norsemen.

"You'll see, spoiled woman," he said with a cold smile. Untying my ropes, he put an oatmeal cake to my lips. I turned my face, not willing to accept anything from those brutes.

"Eat it, bitch," he growled and grabbed my jaw to open my mouth. With a sigh, I opened my mouth and took a bite of food.

"Good girl," he chuckled and patted the top of my head. I glared at him.

Once again I was tossed on top of a horse and we galloped across the gently rolling grass covered hills.  
Finally we arrived at my captors' village and I was hurried into a small sod house that stank of stale food and smoke. An old woman with grey hair and a cold, stern face lived there. When I entered, she grabbed my arm and pushed me down next to the fire. I glanced up at her before turning my back to her and squeezed some milk from my breasts, desperate to relieve the pain.

The old woman muttered to herself, but I couldn't understand a word she said. Ducking my chin down, I let my hair fall in a curtain around my face to hide the hot, stinging tears on my cheeks.

"Stop your tears and help me," the old woman snapped and I got to my feet, wiping at my face.

After I prepared the evening meal, I asked the old woman if I could go for a walk.

"No," she snapped, unable to look me in the eye.

I sighed and laid down on my furs, groaning as I pressed my palms to my eyes. _How could my life get any worse?_

I waited until the old woman fell asleep, then I slunk to the door, and took a few running steps until I tripped, twisting my ankle at a horrible angle. Pain exploded in my ankle and I let out a scream, rolling over to see my captor rising from the ground, looking furious.

I winced and crawled away backwards, ignoring the pain I felt.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked, kneeling down in front of me. My breathing deepened and quickened, my eyes wide as he used one hand to grip my hair, the other to squeeze my ankle. I cried out and tried to twist away from him, but that only brought more pain.

"Are you trying to escape, woman?" he asked, yanking on my hair. His breath smelled heavily of ale. He was drunk.

"Of course! I have a husband, a newborn child. I have to get back to them," I said, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"I'm sure he'll come for you, in due time," he said. "But while we wait, I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind if I used you for myself a little bit." His hand left my hair and went to the hem of my dress.

"No!" I screamed and kicked him soundly in the stomach. He groaned but his grip tightened on my ankle. I screamed out in pain and terror.

"Lie still, you stupid bitch," he growled at me and grasped my shoulders, holding me down. Panic burned through me and I twisted around, trying to free myself.

"Help!" I screamed, but knew that no one would come. Here, I was only a thrall, another man's woman. No one would help me.

He moved so he was straddling me, and his hands left my shoulders. I wriggled underneath him, but couldn't get free. I watched with wide eyes as he undid his trousers, freeing his erect member. I felt sick just looking at it, my terror deepening.

"My husband will torture you and kill you," I hissed as tears rolled down my chest. More than anything at all, I wanted Asvald.

"Only if he can catch me," he answered, his voice slurred, and pushed my dress up to my hips. I tried to jerk away from him as he knelt between my legs, holding my arms down. He held my feet down with his legs.

"Dear God, save me. Sweet Jesus, help me," I prayed and closed my eyes. I felt the tip of his manhood brush me and I yelped. "You won't get any gold from my husband if you violate me!"

He sneered at me. "I do not need the gold. What I need is the warmth of your flesh."

My world started to tip and I felt like I would faint. I had survived two years among these Norsemen without being raped. Why was this happening?

Suddenly I heard an angry scream. "You old bastard, get off that girl!"

The man jumped off of me and stumbled to his feet. I sat up and saw a young woman standing there, her hands on her hips, her face angry. The man bowed and turned to run away. She let him go and came to kneel in front of me. Her green eyes were kind, and she didn't seem much older than me. Her hair was pale in the moonlight.

"Did he violate you, sweet one?" She asked gently, touching a hand to my flushed cheek. I was still trembling.

"No," I whispered and pushed my dress back down. "He tried, but I think he was too drunk to..." I hesitated and looked down at my hands. "He couldn't get his manhood inside me."

"You will be alright now." She helped me up and I let out a scream when I tried to put weight on ankle.

"Come with me, I will bring you into my home and care for that ankle," she said soothingly. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain again.

Slowly, we limped back to her home, which was the biggest longhouse in the village.

"You are the wife of the Chieftain," I stated as she seated me by the warm fire, for it was a chilly spring night. In the light of the fire, I could see that the woman was only wearing a nightdress.

"Aye, I am," she said as she ripped some cloth up. Her husband, the Chieftain, set up in his bed.

"What's going on, wife? Why are you out of bed?" He asked sleepily, before his eyes landed on me. He looked back at his wife and raised his eyebrows.

"She is a captive. A man was trying to force himself on her, and I stopped him. Her ankle is broken and I am going to tend to it. Go on back to sleep," she said and her husband laid back down again. She looked at me with a smile and knelt down to feel my ankle. I winced from the pain.

"Sorry," she murmured. "What is your name?"

"Eachna," I hissed as she wrapped strips of cloth around my ankle, binding it tightly.

"That is an Irish name," she said and looked up at me. "Are you not Norse?"

I shook my head. "I was born in Ireland. My husband's father stole me from my home so I could marry his son."

She chuckled and turned her attention back to my ankle. "Your life has not been easy, has it?"

I smiled. "No, certainly not."

"That is quite rare, you know. For a chieftain's son to marry a captive." She wrapped another cloth around my ankle and I shifted.

"What is your name?" I asked, trying to distract myself from the pain.

"My name is Alwilda," she said, her name flowing beautifully off her lips.

"That is a lovely name," I said and cried out as she tightened to bandage.

"Thank you," she said and moved to sit beside me. "Your ankle should feel better in a few hours, now that it is bound up. Are you hungry, thirsty?"

"I'd like some mead, if it wouldn't be too much trouble," I said, wanting the drink that I knew could make my head spin. I wanted to get drunk.

"Of course," she said and got me a cup of the sweet drink. I took it from her with thanks and took a long gulp.

Alwilda leaned close to me and whispered, "I know that in a short while, some men are planning to ride Ireland. If you'd like, I can arrange for you to go as a thrall. You could escape and return to your family."

I nearly choked on my drink and I looked at her with wide eyes. "You would do that for me?"

She nodded, her green eyes sparkling.

I threw myself forward and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thank you so much, Alwilda."

She laughed softly and gave me a squeeze, before pulling back. "Alright, but you must stay quiet for now."

She rose and laid out some furs by the fire. "You may sleep here tonight."

I laid down on the furs and smiled up at her. "May God bless you, Alwilda."

She grinned, then slipped into bed beside her husband. My eyes closed and I was asleep.

{}

The next days dragged on and on, turning into weeks. I hardly left the smoke-filled sod house, because of my ankle. I waited for Asvald, praying that he would come. But the hours ticked by, the sun rose and set, and my husband still didn't come.

A new man came to visits me every day and made sure I was being cared for. He would check my ankle to make sure it was healing correctly. This new man was called Alf, and he was quiet, gentle. He treated me with great kindness.

I never saw the man who captured me again.

The old woman I stayed with was mad, she muttered to herself and talked to faces she saw in the dark. I thought I would go insane myself from not having anyone to talk to. While my ankle healed, I spent most of my time on the beach, sitting on the warm sand and watching the soft waves.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I hadn't spoken aloud in days, and my heart ached for my family. _Asvald, where are you?_ Sighing, I rested my chin on my knees.  
Footsteps crunched behind me and I looked over my shoulder. Alf, my caretaker, came and sat beside me.

"It seems your husband won't be coming after all," he said, and I was unable to read the cool blue of his eyes.

I kept my eyes on the sparkling water, fighting off my fear that Asvald would never find me.

Alf spoke again. "In three days' time we will be leaving on a raid. Ireland, actually. We'll be bringing you along to prepare our meals and do the women's work. Couldn't leave you here, now could we?" He touched my cheek and I turned my face away, trying to hide my excitement. Alwilda had kept her promise and I would soon be returning home. My heart raced in my chest and for the first time in days, I felt a wild and fearless hope.

I spent the next three days resting my ankle, willing it to heal even just a little bit more. It was broken and painful, but I'd do anything to get back to my family. If Asvald couldn't find me, at least I'd have my sisters and brothers, and my mother.

The day dawned for us to depart and Alf came to get me, handing me a little pouch filled with bread and cheese. I smiled and thanked him.

We reached the beach and the Chieftain leaned down and helped me into the ship, settling me down on a bench toward the back. Alwilda was also on the ship, for she would be cooking and cleaning for the men during the raids. She was clever, and had arranged for all of this to happen perfectly.

I watched as they loaded food and water, nibbling on a piece of bread. It wasn't long until we were sailing away from the coast. My heart squeezed painfully. Would I ever see Asvald and Toki again? Though I missed my husband, I missed my infant son even more. I wondered if he was even alive.

The ship rocked gently, and my stomach twisted. Focusing my eyes on the sky, I tried not to be sick. The men didn't row, for the wind was on our side. All was quiet, peaceful, despite the hell these Norsemen were going to create for the Irish.

As the day lagged on, I hummed a Norse lullaby to myself, fighting boredom. Alf came and sat beside me.

"After this trip, I plan on taking you for my bed thrall," he said in a calm manner, his voice gentle.

I looked down at my hands, unwilling to look at his face, even though he was quite handsome. "I am no virgin. I have just given birth to a child only three months ago."

"It matters not to me if you are a virgin, or that you have birthed a child. I have grown an affection for you, and I want you under my care." He rested his hand on my knee, his thumb caressing me.

When I didn't respond, he sighed and stood, and moved to the front of the ship. I watched him walk away, and smiled.

A few days later, we made port on the western side of Ireland, close to my hometown. My family was only a few miles down the coast. The men stormed out of the ship, shouting battle cries and raising their axes and swords. They left me alone with Alwilda, who was supposed to keep an eye on me.

"Go," she said and helped me over the side of the ship, so I hid the hand lightly. Pain still shot up my broken ankle and I held in a cry.

"Will your husband beat you for letting me escape?" I asked as she handed me a bag filled with bread and cheese, and a horn of water.

She shook her head, her green eyes shining. "No, he is kind to me. Now go!"

"Thank you, Alwilda. For all you've done. I pray that someday we might met again." With those parting words, I turned in the direction of my old village, and stumbled that way as quickly as I could. My ankle screamed in pain but I couldn't stop. The sun had just risen and I had all day to make my journey. I moved inland a bit so I wasn't walking on sand, and my pace quickened. My whole body trembled but I couldn't stop. I was eager to see my family, but I didn't like the idea of seeing my father again.

When the sun was setting low in the sky, I could see the outline of my town. Sobs shook my body as I stumbled the last mile or so.  
The town was quiet as I limped down the stone streets. The shops were familiar, so were some of the faces. As I got closer to my home, my feet moved faster, my heart racing. Coming to the little farmhouse I had grown up in, I swung open the door. My sister was sitting at the table, my mother at the hearth. They both looked at me with wide eyes.

"Eachna?" My mother gasped. I smiled, tears filling my eyes. It had been more than two years since I had last seen them. My mother rushed to me and pulled me into her arms. My sister came to my side and wrapped her arm around me.

"Are you well? Have you been harmed?" My mother asked, frantic. Tears followed down her cheeks.

I nodded and blinked against my own tears. "I am well, I assure you."

She pulled back and just gazed at my gaze. "My, you've changed. You're a woman now."

Leaning forward, I kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly once again.

When all our tears were spent, and kisses had been exchanged, they set me down in front of the fire, giving me milk and a plate of food. As I ate, I told them about Asvald and Toki, about the raid from another village and how I ran away.

Kalin and Mama sat in shocked silence for a few moments, just staring at me.

"You fell in love with a Norseman?" Kalin asked, frowning at me.

I smiled. "Aye, I did. He's not all that bad, really. He's quite handsome and he treats me well," I said, not telling them about his roughness when I first came to live with him.

Mama nodded and pulled me into another embrace. "I am so happy to see you again!"

Kalin smiled at me, her hazel eyes sparkling with love for me. "I cannot believe my baby sister had a child before me."

I blushed, feeling like a child myself. I was a child when I had last been with them. "I miss my son. I pray that he is alive."

Just then my father walked into the house. "Eachna?" His eyes filled with tears and he rushed to me, pulling me into his arms. I returned his embrace and waited impatiently for him to release me. His tears wetted my neck, and I felt my stomach twist.

Once he let me go, we sat and I retold my story.

"You're a mother?" He asked, tears streaming down his face. I hated his tears. It was doubtful that he even missed me at all. The man always used words and fake tears to express his love, not his actions.

I nodded and glanced at the ground. "I am happy now. I know it may be hard to believe, but I have my own life now, with my husband and son. You probably don't understand."

My father's blue eyes hardened, thick glass that can cut through my soul with his glare. "He should be killed. If he shows his face here, I will kill him."

I gritted my teeth. Since leaving Ireland, I'd become even more of a fighter and I would not let this man who calls himself my father affect my life any longer. "You will not kill the father of my child."

My father slammed his fist down on the table. "He is your rapist!"

I rose to my feet and slammed both palms on the table. "He never forced me! I wanted to lie with him, father. Perhaps I am the little whore you always said I was."

His face paled, his sharp blue eyes cutting into me. "I never meant those words to hurt you, Eachna." How could he look so angry and yet still try to speak gentle words?

I felt emotion choking me but I turned it back into anger. "How did you mean them, then? Asvald may have stolen me from my home, but he is a better husband and father than you could ever hope of being." My heart thudded in my chest and I despised the old pain that returned. Of all the things I'd gone through, this old, familiar pain hurt the worst of all.

Refusing to engage with him anymore, I turned and rushed into the room Kalin and I used to share and slammed the door behind me.

{}

That night I slept in my sister's bed, and she cuddled up close to me.

"Tell me more about Asvald," she said, grinning at me and poking my belly.

I giggled. "What more do you want to know? He has blue eyes, golden hair, and a muscular body. His voice is deep, and he likes to order me around."

"Is he a good lover?" she asked, winking at me. I rolled my eyes and smacked her lightly on the arm.

"Yes, he is a good lover," I giggled. I'd missed such candid conversations with my sister.

"Is he well-endowed?" She whispered. Her eyes shined with a mischief we both shared.

"Kalin!" I squealed and pulled the blanket up to cover my blushing face. "He is of a pleasing size and that is all I will say."

"Alright, fine." She giggled and poked my tummy again. "I am happy you are here, Eachna. Life just isn't the same without you."

I lowered the blanket and met the eyes of my sister. "I have missed you as well. My first year away was the hardest. Never in my life have I felt such loneliness."

She rubbed my back and smiled, her beauty taking my breath away. "You're here now. You do not have to be lonely anymore."

"You cannot even understand how happy I am to be here," I whispered, my voice thick from tears. "I thought I would never see you again."

Kalin's lower lip trembled, her golden green eyes filled with tears. "I thought you were dead. I almost wanted to believe you were dead, instead of believing that you were living your life as a slave."

I took her hand and pressed my thumb into her palm. "I've been mostly happy, this whole time we've been apart."

"Mostly?" Kalin asked, frowning.

I went on to tell her about the time I left Asvald to be a thrall to Jabez, and the tiresome work I did, and my attempts of getting back to Asvald, and finally of the beatings I received.

She gasped and tears gathered in her eyes. "Oh, little goose. I am so sorry."

Tears rolled down my cheeks at the sight of the pain in my sister's eyes. "I still bear the scars of that man's belt," I said softly, almost ashamed. The scars were light, just hints of pink stripes along my back. But Asvald and the women who helped me give birth were the only ones to see it.

"May I see them?" She asked gently and I nodded. She helped me pull down my dress and I lay on my stomach. With a gentle finger, she traced my scars. "My sweet little sister. I am so sorry." Hot drops of water fell on my skin and I realized she was crying.

"You are the only one to see those scars besides Asvald and the women who helped me give birth to my son," I whispered and rolled over again, pulling my dress up.

She stared at me with compassionate hazel eyes, though she didn't speak for a while. We simply lay together, soaking in each other's presence. Finally she spoke again.

"Did your...husband ever force you to lie with him?" Her golden eyes were dark with worry.

"Well, not really. Do not worry about it, alright?" I said, not sure how to answer the question. After all, he did harass me often at the beginning of our so-called marriage, but he never truly forced me to bed with him.

Kalin nodded and glanced down for a moment, her lips quivering. When her gaze met mine again, her golden eyes shined with unshed tears. "I am sorry about your baby, Eachna."

I gritted my teeth against the pain in my chest, taking a gasp of air to ease the tightness. "I am praying and hoping that he still lives." My nose started dripping and I dabbed at it with my sleeve. "As a mother, it will kill to me know that he died in such a painful, horrid way." Finally I couldn't hold in my pain anymore and the wails burst out of me, the sobs shaking me violently. I felt like if Toki died, part of my soul would die with him. Perhaps that's why the pain was so intense. If Toki was already dead, I was grieving my lost son and the ghost of my motherhood.

My sister's arms curled around me and she held me close, till slowly my sobs turned into silent tears drifting aimlessly down my face.

"Go to sleep, Eachna. Mama and I will be here when you wake," Kalin whispered and kissed my cheek. I nodded and closed my eyes, heaving a big sigh. I was almost afraid to fall asleep, afraid that I would have nightmares of Toki in that fire, afraid that I would wake to find that it was all a dream, afraid of wishing it was all just a dream. I was starting to drift off against my will when Kalin slipped her hand into mine. A smile spread across my face and I relaxed. It was so good to be with my family again, and not be alone during my storm.

….

The next morning I woke up feeling much better, and after more kisses and embraces from my Mama, I went for a walk in the Irish countryside I had missed everything about Ireland so much.

My milk had stopped producing and I had cried over that, angry because if I ever got Toki back, and if he was even alive, I wouldn't be able to bond with him that way. The air was warm and moist, smelling slightly of salt. It was good to be home, but I missed Asvald. I longed to hear his voice, to feel his strong embrace, his lips on mine.

I came to a stream that ran through the farmland behind the cottage I had grown up in. I sat on the bank and let the sparkling water flow over my toes.

I wanted to cry for happiness for being with my family after all this time, but my heart ached for Asvald. I hadn't seen him in weeks. It seemed so unfair that now I was back in Ireland, all I wanted was to be in Norway with Asvald and Toki. Fate was cruel.

When I was done walking, I went to my brother's home and saw my nephew, Jarlath, and my niece, Anne. He didn't remember me. I reached out to him, and he turned away, shy because he had no memory of me. After speaking with my brother and his wife, I quickly left, unable to stop my tears. Jarlath was my baby, I spent much of my time with him before I was captured. It broke my heart into a million pieces that he had forgotten me.

I returned home again, where my father was waiting for me. "Eachna, we need to talk."

I raised my eyes to his and refused to let myself waver. "What is there left to say?"

He sighed and motioned with his head toward the field behind our house. "Let us walk."

I'd just come from a walk, but I'd rather be moving than sitting while talking to him, so we strolled side by side, the long grass ticking my ankles.

"You did not hate me before you were captured. Why do you hate me now?" He asked, his voice cracking.

In that moment, I truly hated him. I did. There seemed little I could do about it. All those years he'd forced me to pack all my negative emotions in a box and forgive him, and let him have his way. Well, I was sick of it. I whirled on him. Maybe I'd been strong by carrying my burden before, but after the hell I'd been through in the past couple years, I was a strong enough fighter to throw it back in his face.  
For once, I became angry without tears stinging my eyes. "You have deceived yourself if you think all this time I've forgiven you and loved you. You were supposed to be the man who cared for me and protected me, but instead you were the one from whom I needed to be protected." I stopped for a breath, and glared at my father. His face was tight, his eyes burning into me. Never in my life had I known eyes harsher than his.

He broke into my silence. "I never hurt you."

I nearly crumbed under the cut of his glare. But that had happened enough for my lifetime. "How can you say that?"

He reached out and tried to pull me into his arms. "I love you, Eachna." His hands slid over my arms.

I resisted the urge to scream, and instead shoved him away and took a few steps back. The touch of his hand sent shivers up my spine and I felt like I would be sick. "I have known true love from my husband, and my child, and Kalin and Mama." I leveled my eyes on his and pierced him back. The words poured slowly and smoothly from my lips. "You do not know honest love."

I couldn't handle any more of his presence, so I turned my back and stormed away, not knowing where I was going. I covered my mouth with my hand and sobbed as I walked. Hurt did not bring my tears; anger did. But as I passed people on the road and heard their loud Irish laughs and passionate shouts full of love, I felt my anger fade. I was home. Surrounded by familiar sights, smells, and sounds, it was not the time to feel angry.

I went down to the beach, remembering how scared I was two years ago, being stolen by Asvald. The water was clear and blue, and I let the sea foam tickle my feet. My ankle throbbed. My eyes searched the horizon for ships, hoping that Asvald was on the way. Fishing boats bobbed in the calm waters and fishermen worked on the docks, but I felt like I was alone, the only sounds I heard was the soft roar of the waves. Would Asvald ever find me? Would he even know where to look? _Where are you, Asvald?_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Dreams of Toki and Asvald haunted me while I slept, and I woke often with screams, covered in sweat and tears. Kalin would bring me to her chest and rest her chin on my head, her hands stroking my back.

"Do not lose hope," she murmured to me sleepily in the chill of the spring night. Her voice sent the pain in my chest ebbing away. The only bond stronger than the bond between my sister and I was the bond I had with Toki. Only a mother's bond is stronger than the one between sisters.

Slowly I pulled out of her arms and sat up, lighting a candle beside the bed. My arms curled around my knees as I rocked slightly. "I shall never see my son and husband again."

My sister was not one to encourage false hope. Instead she stayed quiet and just looked at me with tear-filled hazel eyes. The death of children was not unknown, it was a common loss, one every mother seemed to experience at least once in her life. But I had not expected to lose my first child, while still young.

"It is strange." My voice seemed to break through the air like a hammer, shattering the silence with dull shock. "It is strange how all that time I was gone, I longed to be here. Now I am here, and all I wish is to be there." The word cruel played in my mind for a time, repeating itself like a whispered chant in the corners of my mind. I sat still, not even daring to blink my eyes. Unable to.

Kalin sighed and let her tears spill. "All I know is that every day you spent apart from me was a hell I never care to remember." Lifting her head, I felt her gaze on my face. "But my hell would have been bliss to you."

Finally I blinked and turned my head. Without meaning to, I held Kalin's hand in my own, her skin softer than my own. I turned it over so I could trace the lines on her palm. For a moment I wondered if the lines of the hand honestly had a story to tell. Our eyes did. Why not our hands as well?

"Only some was hell." My voice broke and I cleared my throat, the silence of the small room deafening to a broken heart. Shadows in the shape of our bodies lingered on the wall. Shadows touch when hearts cannot.

Kalin knew I was lost in my mind and spoke for me. "The love was not hell, you mean?" Her voice was softer than mine, gentle like a mother's.

Should not I be the one with the mother's voice?

I shrugged and rubbed at my eyes, trying to clear away the heavy fog in my mind that threatened to drag me into a pit all too familiar to me. A pit with no sound, no light. I had been before and would never again peer into its depths. "For the first time in my life, I was truly loved by a man, and I brought life into the world. There is no hell in that."

"Do you wish to speak of Toki?" Kain asked softly, though I could hear how much she wanted me to speak of the nephew she never met.

So I told her, everything I could think of. I told her how he woke me at all hours of the night and most days I cried with exhaustion. I told her how the top of his head smelled like comfort and how his coos where the most precious sound I had ever head.

Letting the words pour out from my heart felt like the blood gushing out and cleaning an open wound. Perhaps now my heart would heal.

By the time I finished speaking, the pale light of morning began to flood the small house, and I rose from the bed, lifting my arms over my head and arching my back. The stretching of my muscles reminded me how nice it felt to move.

Kalin and I dressed, and while she went to gather eggs and milk to cow, I joined my mother at the hearth, making oatmeal cakes.

My mother took a glance at me and must have seen the redness in my eyes and the dark circles below them. "I am so sorry, my love." She caressed my back and kissed my cheek. "I never wished this for my daughter."

Biting my lip to hold back my tears, I poured the strong Irish tea into mugs and set them on the table as my father stumbled into the room. "Good morn," he smiled at me and nodded his head, as there wasn't a single bit a malice between us. Luckily, after a year with Asvald, I learned how to ignore a frustrating male.

My sister returned with the milk and eggs, and we sat down to break the fast.

Silence lingered as my family sensed how ill at ease I felt, how tortured my soul was.

"Have you abandoned your God for their pagan ones?" My father cut through the tension with a haughty voice, his eyes digging holes into me.

Too tired not wilt under his stare, my chin lowered as I sipped the tea I cradled between my hands. "Do you think I would be here right now without my faith?" The coldness of my tone shocked me. Usually emotion spilled from me, out of my control.

Father smiled, though I would have been more comforted by a corpse's grin. "I rejoice to hear that, Eachna. The wretch who stole you may have ruined your body, but at least he could not touch your soul."

Kalin glared at our father, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the edge of the table. My mother rose from the table and turned her back, busying herself by cutting slices of bread.

Instead of answering sharply, I inhaled deeply and sipped the warm tea, grateful for the soothing effect it had on me. My father would not change his mind no matter what I could say. "Father," I finally spoke, softly. "If I have learned anything at all in my time away from here, it is that living in peace is better than living in strife. Let us be at peace."

"Ah. Of course," he nodded and went back to his food.

Rolling my eyes, I stood and took my sister by the hand. "Come for a walk with me."

She followed me quickly out onto the dirt road that snaked through the small coastal village. "Are you well, Eachna? I am concerned for you." She picked up her pace to keep stride with me. "Where are we going?"

"Anywhere, other than that house," I said sharply and stumbled into the long grass, leaving the road. My ankle was healed, and I took off at a run, pumping my legs faster and faster and faster, my hair free behind me, whipping against my neck, my chest heaving as I breathed deeply. It reminded me of the times I ran trying to escape from Asvald.

Kalin ran beside me, and together we disappeared into a spinning world of green and blue. As I ran I began to sob, angry at the world for what I had been through, how far I had come to end up in the same place but having lost so much.

I couldn't breathe, my throat and nose filled with tears. Finally I dropped to the ground and rolled onto my back. I swallowed hard and gulped in the air, until I had enough to scream. Tearing up grass by the roots, I roared and threw it violently away from me.

Kalin stood over me, stooped as she tried to catch her breath. "Eachna, stop. You are scaring me."

Wispy clouds drifted through the pale sky and my breathing slowed as I watched them drift aimlessly, at peace with the fact that they had nowhere to go. "Do forgive me, sister." I pressed a hand to my sweaty brow and peered up at her through squinted eyes. She looked so beautiful with her face flushed from running. "The strain I've been under has not settled well with me."

She plopped down into the grass beside me, lying back with her arms under her head. "You've always been a strong wee one, Eachna. I would say it has all settled quite well with you. How is it that you could manage to not tie a rock to your ankle and dive into the sea?"

Smiling, I rolled onto my side and faced her. "Death would not end any of my pain. Though I did try to run a couple times." My thoughts turned to the night I first lay with Asvald, and how strange I felt when it was over. "Kalin, I ran the night Asvald took my maidenhead."

"Why?" Her hand covered my own, her thumb trailing over the fragile skin on the back of my hand. "Did he hurt you, little goose?"

"No, 'twas not that." My face felt hot, and I realized with some sadness that I felt shy in front of my sister in a way I had never experienced before. "It felt I had betrayed you, and betrayed mama." I could not make myself look into her eyes as tears filled mine. "It felt wrong to love him after all he did."

My sister engulfed me in her arms and soothed me as a mother would a child, her warm tears wetting the skin of my neck. "He chose wisely when he took you," she murmured. Her breath smelled like tea, and her hair smelled like home. I inhaled deeply. "He chose the biggest heart in all of Ireland."

Laughing and crying all at once, I untangled myself from her and stood, holding out my hand to her. Kalin grinned and took it, hopping to her feet. "Where shall we go now?"

I glanced around at my small home, how different it was from the Norse village that had become my own. The houses were round with thatched roofs instead of long and rectangular with grass roofs. The land was greener and there weren't any mountains around. Just trees and farmland.

My eyes happened upon an old tavern where the fishermen would go to drink after a long day of work. I wondered if they would remember me. Kalin and I would often go there together to dance a jig and flirt with the men. It was all in the name of jest, and all the men treated us as if they were our brothers or uncles. Irish men knew how to behave, unlike some uncouth Norsemen I could name.

"Let's go to McTavish's Tavern." A girlish squeal escaped me and we raced across the field and through the street, dodging carts and chickens and pigs. The door opened with a thump. The tavern was poorly lit, it's cloudy, milky light giving me the sensation of being in a dream.

A fat man with a full dirty beard stood behind the counter, pouring a fisherman an ale. I remembered him, his name was Matthew McTavish. Kalin tugged on my hand and we smiled at each other, not needing words to say that it was good to be together again, like old times. We perched on the stools and waited.

The tavern was mostly empty, as most of the men were still at sea or at work in the fields. Old fish and sweaty men scented the stale, unmoving air and again I inhaled deeply, remembering the smell of home which sent my heart into a twist.

Matthew pushed two mugs of ale toward my sister and me, starting me from my thoughts. His face was flushed, sweat trickling into his beard as he stared at me, looking from me to Kalin and back again.

"Is it you, lass?" He focused on me, his mouth hanging open with surprise, his voice incredulous. "Has your ghost returned to haunt this old pub?" He chuckled heartily.

I grinned and took a gulp of ale. "It's Eachna, yes." I lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Well by Saint Peter, do tell the story!" He leaned close to me and I blinked at the stink of his breath. "How is that you made it back to this o' town after so long with the heathens?"

So I told him the story, leaving out many details and even changing the story to make it more entertaining. It was just the proper Irish way of telling a wild tale. Kalin's laughter made it even better, for she knew how the true story went.

When I finished Matthew was sweating even more than before and he appeared both amazed and horrified. I couldn't help laughing at his reaction, and by the time I had finished my story, I had already drunk a couple mugs of ale.

"Well by God!" He laughed loudly, and when a fellow fisherman came into the pub, he called him over. The fisherman recognized me and again I told me tale, again and again as more people wandered in. Kalin finally left, as she got tired of hearing the story again and again, and I felt bad that I gave up some of my time with her, but I was enjoying the attention. Also, I'd had a bit too much to drink at that point and hardly knew what I was saying.

One of my brothers even came, for news of my return was spreading around town and he wanted to see what the fuss was about. The bond between my older brothers and I was thin. We were never close, and honestly he felt like a stranger to me.

When the sun had been down for an hour, my brother Seamus took my arm and pulled me from the drunken crowd after my stories began to wander into the kind not proper to be told from a lady's mouth.

The world swirled around me as we stumbled through the night, Seamus supporting most of my weight.

"Ah lassie, what have you done? Your head will be a'pounding tomorrow," he grunted as he wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me from stumbling.

I just laughed and grinned up at him, his face blurry and pale in the clear moonlight. "I like your voice. It's gentle. I missed that voice," I slurred and patted his cheek. "You're a good man, my boy. Quite good."

He shook his head and watching the movement of it almost made me sick. "Thank ye, lassie."

My knees gave out and I escaped into darkness.

….

When I woke up tucked into Kalin's bed, the first thing that entered my mind was how badly my head ached, and how nasty my mouth tasted. Slowly last night's events came back to me and I groaned, rolling onto my stomach. Not often did I get drunk, and I wasn't proud of my behavior last night. Asvald would not have been pleased. I was a mother, and mothers did not do such things. Or was I a mother still? Perhaps not.

There was a noise behind me so I sat to see Kalin standing in the doorway. "Good morn', sister." She smiled but I could tell she was frustrated with me. "How is your head?" In her hands she held a mug of water, which I took and gulped quickly.

"It's hurting," I told her with a sheepish smile as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. A sudden thought occurred to me, and my heart skipped a beat, stealing my breath.

"Eachna?" Kalin grabbed my hands and frowned down at me. "Eachna, what is it? You are pale as the moon, love."

I blinked and sucked in a few deep breaths. "If Asvald has given up and thinks I am dead, he may have taken another wife." Saying the evil thought out loud increases the achy feeling inside me.

"From what you told me, it seems your husband loves you with all his being. And after all the trouble he went through to get you in the first place, I doubt that he will stop looking for you until he either sees your corpse or until you're in his arms again." She smoothed my hair back from my face. "Stop worrying yourself."

Her eyes were guarded. She was trying to hide something from me, and I didn't like it. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her down onto the bed next to me. "What is it, Kalin? Talk to me. After all this time apart, do not withdraw from me."

To my surprise her eyes welled with tears and she turned her face away. "Listen, Eachna. I know you've made a home in Norway, and I understand that. But selfishly, I want you to just stay here with me."

"Oh." My breath left me in a little sigh. Of course, how did I not see it before? If I left her again, it would only break her heart even worse than the first time.

Finally she looked at me, her eyes red and her lips trembling. The pain was written on her face, and it occurred to me that perhaps her suffering over the last year was worse than mine. At least I had the comfort of knowing she was safe in our village, though she grieved for me. But she had no knowledge of what became of me. She had to go to sleep each night wondering if I was safe and wake up each morning not knowing if I was alive. "I am sorry, Kalin," I murmured as I cuddled into her shoulder. "I must stop complaining, for I am not the only one who has suffered." Her hair soaked up my tears.

She stroked the back of my head and we stayed that way for a while. When we were both comforted, we joined my mother for the chores.

My mother wanted to know what it was like for me carrying my first child and how the birth went. At the time all I wanted was for my mother to be there with me, and it gave me some healing to share my memories with her.

{}

Time continued to pass quickly and slowly all at once, racing by when I laughed with my family, and slowing down when I woke in the night crying for my husband and baby.

Gradually, I felt myself slipping back into the way life had been before I left. Asvald's face began to fade into the back of my mind, and Toki felt more like a dream than a child would had once nursed at my breast.

My father and I avoided each other and spoke peacefully when we had to speak.

The Irish language began to feel normal again on my tongue, and I welcomed all things familiar, the food and the music, and the faces of those around me. Acceptance eased my grief.

The best part of being home was going to the market and enjoying the social crowd of excited Irish people. Kalin and I went as often as possible, sometimes coming home with fresh fish for supper, and other times with little carvings made of driftwood or other such useless items.

One day as Kalin and I made our way to the market, I passed a young man with golden brown hair who seemed familiar. With a start, I realized he was the man that I had fancied before I was captured. There had been talk once of my possible marriage to him, though my father hadn't been too eager to marry me off at the time. His name was Aedan.

I told my sister to go on without me and headed toward Aedan. He was standing in the middle of the marketplace, buying some turnips and cabbage. He turned from the cart and saw me, his grey eyes growing wide.

"Eachna?" He exclaimed and laughed, coming toward me. Suddenly I felt horribly shy and unsure. "How did you get back to Ireland, lass?"

Aedan had been more of a friend to me in the past then a lover. I hadn't really thought about him since I was stolen away. It took me a moment to find my voice, and when I did, it was barely above a whisper. "It's quite a story. Are you well? Have you found a woman to love?"

He shook his head and smiled "No. You were hard to shake out of me mind. I tried often to forget ye, but no, you have haunted me like a ghost, lass." His eyes sparkled and I felt sadness squeeze at my heart. He had loved me, and still seemed to. I could have had a life with him, a peaceful life with a good Irish man. I would not have minded being his wife and bearing his children.

"Come with me," he took my hand and led me down to the beach, where we sat in the cool sand and he listened to me tell my tale, as truthfully as I could manage. This time it wasn't for entertainment.

When I finished, we stayed quiet for a moment, and he let the sand slip between his fingers. "You love him." His felt betrayed. His tone was clipped and he refused to look at me.

"Aedan…you may not understand, but I do…I do love him." Gulls cried above us, the waves breaking with gentle roars against the shore. The water reminded me of the blue in Asvald's eyes. In Toki's eyes.

"Aye, because he filled your belly with his child. If his seed had not taken root, you would not love him." Bitterness choked his words and the anger in his face was almost enough to frighten me.

I kicked off my shoes and stripped off my woolen stocking, sighing as the chilly sand got between my toes. "I would love him with or without Toki."

He just sighed and picked up a piece of drift wood, pulling out a small blade from his belt. He whittled it carefully and I watched his hands move, and then the concentration on his face. "How long will you wait for him?"

I stuck my finger in the sand and drew a longship, wishing I could somehow make it real and sailing toward me with my husband aboard. "I will wait until he arrives."

Aedan threw down the piece of driftwood and stared at me with almost a…anger in his eyes. His golden brown hair whipped in the ocean breeze, adding to his intensity. "And what if he never comes for you, hm? Will you wait for him until you are old and gray and cannot remember your own name?"

I was taken aback by his outburst and tried to control my face to hide my surprise. Why did he care so much anyway? But what he was saying rang with truth. If Asvald didn't come within a few weeks, it would be unlikely that he would come at all. Would I spend my life living in the memory of a year of my life with a stranger? Or could I move on and begin a new family?

Glancing at Aedan from below my lashes, I could see a future with him filled with dark haired children with blue eyes and a quiet Irish life. No raiding, no strange customs. Just home and family. It was tempting, I had to admit.

"Was he an honorable man, Eachna?" He asked softly, his hand resting on my knee, sending chills through my body. It had been many weeks since I had been touched by a man.

"He…he never forced me and he never sleep with another woman while he was with me. He was a good father and he loved our son." My throat was thick with emotion and I paused to cough, hoping he didn't notice.

"But he still raided and plundered and stole and murmured." He shifted so he was on his knees, his hands suddenly cupping my face. I gasped and covered his hands with my own, our intense gazes fixed on each other. "I can give ye what ye need, Eachna. A good honorable Irish man who will give you everything. Let him go and come with me." By the time he finished talking, his lips were mere inches from mine. I could taste his breath, which smelled faintly of bread and wine.

A strange urge inside me wanted to push me toward him, to connect our mouths. Good God, I wanted to be touched and caressed and held. It had been so long.

"But I belong to another," I finally chocked out, shoving gently against his chest to put some distance between us. The effect he had on me was disconcerting.

"And where is he? Hm?" He peered at me with intense blue eyes. His eyes were a completely different shade of blue than Asvald's eyes. Aedan's eyes could almost pass for gray. "Let him go, Eachna."

Shaking slightly at the thought, I turned my eyes to the brilliant clear ocean that rolled softly, like gentle lovemaking. How I longed for a ship to appear in the distance. The desire for my husband was so strong, I felt like my chest would cave in onto itself.

"Aedan, your life had hardly changed in this year I've been gone. But I have found beautiful love and brought new life into the world. That is not easily forgotten, but I cannot expect you to understand that." I finished with a sigh and slowly rose to my feet, about to walk away. Aedan caught my hand, his lips parted but unsmiling. "Promise me you will consider my offer."

I gave him a single nod and gently pulled my hand free. "Good day, Aedan." With unsteady steps I retreated as quickly as possible, hurrying home.

{}{}{}

Kalin sat with me outside in the grass as we stitched clothing. We needed to make a dress for me, as the weight I had gained during my pregnancy disappeared, leaving my dresses too large of me. Also my milk had dried up, which left my breasts closer to their original size.

"Have you thought any more on Aedan's offer?" Kalin asked, her golden eyes gentle as she glanced at me.

I shrugged. The topic was one I did not care to speak of often, though now my whole family and the village knew. My father was insisting that I accept, since after all I was no longer a virgin and it was a kind offer for a man to wed even after baring another man's child.

"There is still a hope that Asvald will find me," I murmured, pulling hard on my thread. "If I chose to marry Aedan, that hope will die."

"Eachna." Kalin used a tone that caused me to lay down my sewing and give her my full attention. "I know this is painful and hard, but I think it is best that you find your place again here. It has been two months since you came here and he has still not come. It's time, little goose." She lay her hand on my knee and smiled softly, her curls falling around her face. In that moment, she reminded me of an angel. I often wondered why Asvald chose me instead of Kalin, since she was more beautiful than I. With my long, straight and dull brown hair, my round hips, and small breasts, there would be no denying that I was not a strikingly beautiful woman, though I was soft and lovely.

A bird sang into a nearby tree, its sweet tune joining the gentle sound of rustling leaves. The sound instilled me with peace and I breathed in the Irish air. "Fine. I will speak to Aedan soon about a quiet wedding." The words send a sliver of pain through my heart but I told myself Kalin was right, 'tis time to let go. With time I could find love with Aedan, and there would be more babies. I could not live with my parents forever, and I did not want to die alone anyway. So in the end, I had little choice in the matter.

…..

Before I could lose my nerve, I went to Aedan's home and knocked softly on the door, my stomach turning like an ocean storm.

The door swung open and there stood Aedan, surprise playing on his face when he saw me. It took him a moment to speak. "Come in, lass." He stepped back and gestured me in.

The house was small and round with a thatched roof, like most of the other homes in the village. It was dimly lit with one fire and a single window, but it still afforded more light than a Norse longhouse. Against one wall was a small bed and a small table with a candle on top, and a book of prayers too.

Before the hearth was another small table with two chairs, set with mugs and plates. Aedan pulled back one of the chairs and I sat, smiling nervously at him as he settled across from me.

His gray eyes held a bit of mischief as he said, "What can I do for ye, mistress?"

I straightened my back, preparing myself for what must be said. My hand drifted to my belly, remembering how it felt to carry Toki inside of me. _Goodbye, little one._ My thoughts turned to Asvald and his face, which was becoming blurry in my memory. _Goodbye, my love._

"I am here to accept your offer of marriage." My ears stung to hear the words aloud and my heart picked up speed as I watched his face.

He lifted an eyebrow and smiled with one corner of his mouth. "I am glad you have come to your senses. When shall we be wed?"

I hesitated, wanting more time, while still knowing that if I waited too long, I would change my mind. Something inside me screamed, wanting nothing more than to hold my child and husband again. _Let them go_ , my common sense screamed back.

In the distance the sounds of distant shouts arose and the faint noise disrupted my thoughts. It sounded like there was a disturbance in the village. I frowned at Aedan. "Do you hear that?"

He nodded and rose slowly as the shouting, got louder, closer. Quickly he went to the door and threw it open, leaning outside to peer down the road. I started to stand but he held out a hand to me and I froze, my heart starting to pound as screams added to the shouting.

The bell in the church began to ring and my heart sank into my stomach. It reminded me of the day I was captured. When I heard people screaming, "Norsemen!" I rose to my feet, my heart beating even faster. Could I dare hope…?

Suddenly Aedan was shoved out of the doorway and a huge form entered the small hut.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes stared disbelieving. How could it be?

"Eachna!" The familiar voice came out in strangled gasp, and soon I was in his arms, pressed into his chest painfully, inhaling his scent once more.

"Asvald," I sighed into him, my arms curling tightly around him, my head still unwilling to believe that I stood in my husband's embrace. So many questions swirled in my mind that I could hardly formulate a complete sentence to even speak. Instead I lifted my face to him, hoping the taste of his lips would draw me from my trance.

But before our mouths could meet, men poured into the hut with shouts and roars, pulling Asvald off of me, and forcing him to his knees. Their eyes glowed with blood lust, fury flushing their faces. They would protect their homeland. It was then I noticed that Asvald was unarmed. He did not have his sword.

His eyes met mine pleadingly and I was jarred into action. Throwing myself forward, I knelt before Asvald and wrapped my arms around his neck. My ears ached from the exclaiming in such a small, confined space. Asvald's arms came around me and cradled me to his chest, his hand cupping the back of my head. Oh how I had missed that touch.

The shouting died and silence replaced it. Now my ears rung, the silence deafening and I almost winced.

"He is my husband," I said with a cracking voice as I lifted my eyes to the angry, murderous men around me, all who had their knives and axes pointed in Asvald's direction. "You cannot harm him. He will not cause any violence. Just let me leave with him in peace."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

The startled faces of the men started back at me, shock playing on their features as my words sunk in. I knew these men; many of them had watched me grow up. They wanted to protect me, and I did not blame them for it.

"We cannot allow you to do that, lass," one man spoke, a farmer who didn't live far from my family's farm.

"Please," I murmured, my voice breaking. Desperation clawed at my heart as my stomach clenched into a thousand knots. Losing Asvald was not something I could survive. The loss of my baby nearly killed my spirit, and losing my husband would put me in the grave. "He is the father of my child."

The men glanced around at each other in confusion, and their grips on their weapons slackened slightly. Finally one of the men spoke. "What child, Eachna?"

The fist that squeezed my heart tightened its grip and I had to take several deep breaths before being able to speak. "There was a baby, born to me in Norway." Tears eased down my cheeks, a gentle rain I wished my husband could soothe.

Asvald stirred in my embrace, his lips pressed to my ear. "Is. There is a baby. Toki is alive, my love."

My eyes widened and my heart lifted. Everyone around us melted away and the joy I felt conquered my fear. A sob escaped me as I clung to him even more tightly. Our child was alive! The maternal instinct to find him and return to him grew, and I wished I could ran across the ocean and snatch my child up into my arms.

But first, I had to get Asvald out from under the villagers' weapons.

{}

They dragged Asvald out of the small hut, headed toward the center of the village. I trailed behind, my head swirling with anxiety. What could I do?

The shock of the sudden changes left me feeling like I needed to sit and breathe and let everything wash over me.

People began to gather as the commotion grew, curiosity and fear on their faces when they saw the large blond Norseman among them. Soon it appeared that every villager and farmer was gathered around my kneeling husband. Blood rushed in my ears as my mind raced. Would they kill him? Or perhaps they would beat him and let us leave? I knew the latter was unlikely and my breath escaped quickly, leaving a feeling in my stomach similar to being hit. The crowd thickened and pushed me back, to the point where I could hardly even see Asvald anymore.

But I did notice when my father wormed his way through until he reached my kneeling husband, and stood there glaring at him with those piecing blue eyes that frightened me as a child. I used my elbows to shove my way back to the front of the crowd, ready to stop my father if need be.

He drew a knife from his belt and the crowd cheered, causing my heart to skip a beat in fear.

"Kill 'im!" They roared and pumped their fists, each one of them hoping for a show. "Kill the murderer!"

"Rapist!" Others shouted, and my anger arose. I could not stand by and witness such foolishness from my own people. Springing forward before someone could pull me back, I put one hand on Asvald's shoulder, and the other on my father's arm.

"Stop it now, you foolish men!" I cried, my chest heaving as the outburst silenced the crowd. My father's eyes burned holes into me, but I refused to shrink under their familiar cruelty. "This is my husband and you will not kill him!" Heart pounding, I knelt down beside Asvald, where I noticed two fist sized bags of coins hung. I grabbed them and faced my father again, knocking the blade out of his hand with a quick strike. He opened his mouth to protest, then I placed the bags in his hands. Asvald slowly rose to his feet, and looked down into my father's eyes. "Payment," he said softly in Irish. "For your daughter and her love." He glanced at me and smiled reassuringly, and turned his attention back to my father.

My father opened the backs and shifted through the coins. I held my breath. _Take them, and let us leave._ Finally he nodded at Asvald. "I accept your payment. Now get out of here and never show your face here again."

Asvald nodded and took my hand, his fingers intertwined with mine. The contact of his skin and the brush of his thumb over mine sent my stomach leaping and my heart racing. Oh how I'd missed him.

"Please, my lord, let us return to your home and allow my wife to bid her mother and sister farewell." Asvald spoke with the most respectful tone I had ever heard him use.

Again my father nodded and the crowd dispersed once they realized that there would not be a fight or bloodshed.

The three of us walked awkwardly back to my family's farm, my hand still in Asvald's clasp. He kept looking at me in the special way of lovers, and I couldn't wait to share a bed with him once again. It had been months since he touched my body.

We reached the house, and when we entered, something shifted in Asvald's demeanor. His back tightened and he shifted, and his jaw tightened. _Oh no._

Before I could stop him, a roar of rage burst from Asvald and he grabbed my father by the shirt front and tackled him to the floor.

My mother cried out and looked to me. I shook my head and motioned for her to stay back. "He is my husband."

My mother's face softened and she slowly moved to my side, Kalin following her. Perhaps we had all been waiting for this moment for years. My mother's hand slipped into mine.

Asvald's upper lip curled like a snarling dog as he leaned over my father, who looked utterly terrified. "You abused my wife, you son of a bitch. How could you do that to your own daughter?"

"I never touched her," my father spat and tried to shake Asvald off of him. Of course, Asvald was twice his size and he didn't budge.

"You scarred her heart and broke her spirit. Thank the gods she is as strong as an ocean storm, or she would have been lost forever to your mistreatment," Asvald growled. "Now you will pay with your life." He lifted his fist and smashed it into my father's face. _Smash, smash, shush._ Blood spurted and bone crunched. I had to turn my face away. None of us made a move to stop Asvald. Shock nailed our feet to the floor.

"You son of a bitch!" Asvald bellowed. _Smash._ "You dirty scum!" _Crunch._ "Sick, rotten monster!" _Crack._

Slowly, I moved forward and caught hold of Asvald's wrist, stopping the blows. "Enough," I whispered. My father's blood smeared Asvald's hand and speckled his face like red freckles. Blood gushed from my father's nose, his eyes swelling quickly. He groaned and rolled to his side, covering his face with his hands.

I ignored him and tugged Asvald to his feet. "You've done enough."

His chest heaved as he stared down at me, the anger starting to melt out of his face. His lips parted like he wished to speak, but what words could possibly be said at a moment like this? Instead, I turned to my mother.

"Mama, this is my husband, Asvald," I said, my voice shaking.

Asvald did a little bow at the waist and smiled politely. "Good day, ma'am." The blood on his face mocked his manners.

Shaken, my mother stared at him. Her eyes shifted to me. "He is a brute."

I threw my head back and laughed, breaking the tension in the room. "No, he's not." Deciding it would be best to get the blood off his face, I grabbed a rag and wiped it away. "He just doesn't like the things I've told him about my father."

We all looked at my father's crumbled form on the floor. He wasn't moving, but none of us seemed to care.

My mama bravely took a few steps toward Asvald. "You are protective of my daughter, I see." A smirk rested on my mother's face.

Asvald nodded and smiled, wrapped an arm around my waist. "She is my love, of course I want to protect her. I just wish it didn't have to be from her own father."

My mama smiled. "As do I." She motioned to the chairs around the table. "Let us sit and talk."

So we gathered around the table and drank tea while Asvald told our story, leaving out a lot of details that would only upset my mother. My sister seemed pretty fond of Asvald and she joined in to ask questions too.

"What will happen now that you are here?" Kalin asked, folding her hands on the table.

"I will take her home," he spoke firmly now, letting Kalin know that it was not her place to challenge him. I placed my hand on his thigh to warn him to act gently.

Kalin's eyes flashed with anger and she lunged across the table till she was eye to eyes with him. "Try to take her away from me again, you will see what happens."

My heart twisted and my eyes drifted shut. How could I tell her that I had to return to the North and live with my husband and child? That I _wanted_ to return there, that it was my home now? "Kalin, I want to go home to my boy. He needs me and I need him."

We all jumped when my father sat up from his place on the floor and glared at Asvald through his swollen face. "You are not going anywhere with this man. He is not you lawfully wedded husband and your child is a bastard. We could discreetly find you a husband and you can have other children. But you will not return to the North."

Asvald jumped up and his chair tumbled back with a thud. "Eachna, you stopped me once, but this time I swear I will kill him."

I placed my hand on his arm, using my expression to plead with him. "He is not worth your effort."

Asvald's jaw tensed as he gazed down at me. "He hurt you." Tears gathered in his eyes.

"So did you," I said softly before I could stop the words.

Hurt washed over Asvald's face and he shifted on his feet. He was ready to flee. "I am not your father, either."

"No, you are my husband." I set my lips in a firm line and held his gaze. Of course I was right, and he knew it.

At last he nodded and the anger seeped out of him. He turned to my father and offered him his hand. My father took it hesitantly and Asvald pulled him to his feet.

"You are my wife's father and I will give you the respect you deserve for that reason only," Asvald spoke firmly and lowly. "But Eachna will be the one to decide whether she will stay here with you, or come home with me."

All eyes turned to me and I felt a familiar feeling of dread sink into my stomach. My sister's eyes, bursting with her desire for me to stay, something she could do little to hide behind a hazel mask. The arms of my mother, longing to hold me, something she couldn't hide by wrapped them around herself. The lips of Asvald, moving with unspoken pleas for me to remember our child and the life we had built.

This choice had haunted me for several years, always nipping at my heels, always tapping my shoulder. I'd lost count of how many times I'd stood on the forked road, trying to choose the right path. This was the hardest decision yet. I had to choose between family...and family.

Almost on its own accord, my hand dropped to my stomach, which still wasn't as flat as before I'd become pregnant with Toki. The pain of childbirth flashed through my mind, the tired joy I felt holding my son for the first time. Perhaps God had made the choice for me a year ago. At Toki's conception.

I reached out for Asvald's hand and felt reassured by the roughness of his skin. I was grateful that in that moment my father was a defeated man, not the man I was afraid to face. "I will return with Asvald."

Kalin covered her mouth with her hand and squeezed her eyes tightly closed. My mother stared at me with blinking disbelief, and my father shook his head angrily. No one spoke.

A heavy moment, a labored heartbeat. It could be my last chance to say anything to the people who raised me. What words to choose? What had I waited years to say to these people? If only I knew.

"I left here a young girl, and I've returned a wife and mother. Of course this is hard for you to see," I murmured softly, my gaze darting between the hurting faces of my loved ones. "But that is the point, isn't it? I am not a maiden any longer. My heart belongs to this man at my side. My loyalties lie with the babe waiting for in the North."

Silence met my words and Asvald squeezed my hand. "We will spend the night here. In the morning, I will purchase food for the journey home."

My parents nodded, and Kalin wouldn't look at me, so I decided what I needed was my husband's comfort. I led him into the room Kalin and I shared. The bed was small, but we weren't about to let that stop us. Asvald came to me quickly and captured my lips with his. A moan escaped me at the beautiful contact. But before we could get any closer, my sister charged into the room and sprung onto her bed, which was alongside mine. She folded her arms across her chest, and I took a step away from Asvald with a frustrated sigh.

"I have to sleep," she said emotionlessly, though she glared at Asvald as if he was Satan himself.

My frustration with her grew and I opened my mouth to reproach her when Asvald touched my hand with his and nodded toward the bed, his eyes dark and shiny in the dim light. I sighed as he pulled back the blankets and lay down, holding out his hand to me. "Come, love," he murmured in Norse so Kalin could not understand. "Rest in my arms."

Too tired to resist, or argue with my sister, I relaxed into Asvald's arms, my back against his chest. Kalin blew out the candle, leaving us in complete darkness. My heart thumbed heavily in my chest as the day's events replayed in my mind. How quickly everything changes.

"I have missed you," he whispered, still in Norse. "I have missed the light in your eyes and your smile and your touch, and even your scent."

I shivered and smiled as he gently moved my hair off of my neck, where he placed small, gentle kisses. "I have missed you too, my love. Every single thing about you."

"Face me," he murmured deeply, and my heart answered with a definite _thump._ Obeying him, I rolled so I was facing him, and he placed his hand on my hip. He drew me closer and blindly found my lips with his, catching my upper lip with just one try.

"Eachna, stop kissing your husband while I'm in the room," Kalin growled, only a few feet away. "You will have many chances to kiss him soon, since you are choosing him over me."

Her words were sharp and they cut me, my spirit oozing red. Asvald noticed the tension in my body. "I love you."

Those words mended my wounds, and I pressed my face into his chest, his scent all around me. Tears eased out of my eyes and wetted his shirt. "I'm sorry, I thought I'd never see you again, and that's why you found me in that man's house. There are no feelings, I just needed someone to provide for me." My voice cracked and I had to stop for a breath.

Asvald leaned over me, staring down into my eyes through the darkness. " _Kone_ , hush. I did not doubt you." Lowering his head, he gave me a quick kiss before settling onto his back again. "I love you," he said again and squeezed my hand.

"I love you too," I whispered back and closed my eyes. We held hands as we fell asleep.

{}

The mood was grim in the house next morning. I had awoken to find Asvald gone, though I knew he was just going to reload the ship with goods. Goods that he had bought, this time.

They knew I was leaving them yet again, and none of us knew when our paths would cross again.

After silent tea and oatmeal at a silent table in a silent room, I went for a quick walk through the green fields, the village, and along the beach where I saw the Viking ship that had stolen my away more than a year again, which would soon be taking me home, home to my child and my friends and family.

Once I returned home, Kalin sat with me before the hearth, and we spoke quietly of things sisters speak of, until Asvald strode through the door, as tall, intimidating, and commanding as ever. But his eyes were gentle as they met mine.

"Eachna," he spoke my name with tenderness. "Bid them goodbye."

A lump rose in my throat, and I wondered how I could be so ready to say goodbye, yet feel such a heaviness inside my chest.

My mother came forward first, her green eyes lakes of warmth. She wrapped her arms around me and I melted into her softy, my lips brushing the fragile skin of her neck. My heart wailed silently and my lungs shuddered for air.

Her hands stroked my hair and her calming voice soaked into my bones. "You are free, my little bird."

There it was. The release I had been aching for since I was first stolen. I needed them to let me go.

My mother kissed my cheek and let me go. No more words were needed.

Kalin came to me next. Goodbyes always come in a line. She embraced me and cried into my shoulder with beautiful sobs of loving sorrow. "You had better love that boy with all your heart, you hear me?"

I wasn't sure whether she was speaking of Asvald or Toki, but I nodded and gave her a squeeze, then pulled away. I didn't want her to be the one to draw away. At least I could spare her that.

"I believe I'd like to take her home now," Asvald said to my mother. She smiled and nodded, though her eyes filled with tears.

Asvald gently pulled me away and we left my childhood house. I fought tears and told Asvald that I needed to say goodbye to my brothers and my niece and nephew. We stopped by their houses and I said my goodbyes sadly to them.  
As we headed toward the beach, I felt each step crumbling a piece of my heart. At first I only breathed heavily, till finally I could not bear it and sank to my knees.

Asvald knelt with me and blanketed me in his arms. He looked down at me with a sad compassionate smile. "Do you want to stay, Eachna? Would you be happier here?"

I shook my head, though tears flowed freely down my cheeks and neck. "No. But even in my dreams it was never this hard."

Thankfully, Asvald lifted me into his arms and carried me across the beach, setting me inside the longship. The wood felt familiar under my palms, all the scents inside slowing the painful beat of my heart. Home.

We sailed away, and I stood at the stern, watching my green homeland slip away like a paradise in my dreams. I bade it farewell with affection. 

When the coast of Ireland was no longer visible, Asvald came to me and tilted my chin toward his face, and kissed away my tears.

"I love you, Eachna. And I will take you to see your family again," he whispered.

My eyes searched his as I dared to hope he was telling the truth. "You honestly mean that? You will bring me here again?"

The corners of his eyes lifted, bringing a sparkle to the ocean of his eyes. "I watched you there at the stern, bidding farewell to all that you've known and loved, because you want to be my wife and the mother of our child. It's a beautiful gift you've given me, Eachna, and I wish to give one back."

"Thank you," I whispered with thick emotion, and he brought his mouth to mine, kissing me gently at first before taking it deeper, his tongue stroking mine. He tasted salty, and just like he always did. Just like _Asvald._ He brought us down to sit on a bench. I whimpered at his familiar taste and scent, moving into his lap. I didn't care who was watching, I needed my husband. His hands caressed my hips, his mouth firm against mine. My hair swirled around my face, tickling my cheeks and making me giggle into the kiss. My heart beat quickened, and I was so glad to be in my husband's arms again. I vowed that I would never push him away ever again, because nothing he could do was worth losing the feeling I felt when he kissed me.

Pulling back, I buried my face in his neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I don't want to lose you ever again."

He chuckled, and placed his hand on the back of my head, cupping me close. "You will not lose me. I came for you, did I not?"  
I clung to him for the rest of the journey home.

{}

Upon arriving at the beach, I hastened to have Asvald lift me from the ship and went as quickly I could to Halla's home, where we would now be living until we could build a new longhouse. Asvald was on my heels.

Halla was sitting by her fire, with Toki balanced on her growing belly. I gasped, tears filling my eyes as I looked at my son after what felt like such a long time.

Halla looked up at me and smiled brightly, getting to her feet to place my son in my arms.

"Welcome home, sister," she said and kissed my cheek. Biting my lip to hold in my sobs, I lifted Toki up and placed big kisses on both his chubby cheeks.

"Oh baby, my sweet Toki," I whispered, and clutched him to my chest. His blue eyes gazed up at me, and his mouth opened in an adorable toothless grin. I thanked Halla and looked around at all the other faces. Alanna came forward and hugged me tightly.

"I missed you," she murmured, her voice lacking its normal tone of teasing. "You scared me."

I smiled sheepishly and bumped her with my shoulder. "Thank you for saving Toki."

She flashed her beautiful grin. "Of course. He's like a nephew to me."

Groa came toward me and embraced me, her body unusually thin against mine.

"Are you ill?" I asked, holding her with the arm that didn't contain Toki.

"No," she murmured and pulled away, offering me a gentle smile. "It is just worry, my sweet. I worried for you every moment you were gone."

I frowned in pity and patted her arms. "You are a wonderful mother, Groa." I glanced from her, to Alanna, to Halla, and smiled. "I will have to tell you all of my adventures later."

"Where are you going now?" Alanna called after me as I headed for the door, Asvald's hand in mine.

"To see my home again," I called over my shoulder. Together Asvald and I walked slowly up the slope that over looked the ocean and the village. When I reached the top, I looked out over the village. Buildings there were once houses lay instead as piles of ashes and charred wood, pits of blackness amid a sea of green.

"There is much work to do," Asvald murmured beside me.

We stood there for several minutes, our arms wrapped around each other. Finally, Asvald kissed the top of my head and pulled away. "Come, let's return home."

He led me down the slope, his hand caressing my waist as we slowly walked, careful of my painful ankle. I was glad to have him to lean on.

We came to Halla's home and we slipped back inside. We were greeted with questions, but Asvald gave the three women a look that told them to quiet down and leave us alone. Unfortunately, Halla's longhouse was only one room, though an extremely large room. For once, I didn't care about privacy.

Asvald took Toki from my arms and gave him to Alanna, whose cheeks were red as if she knew exactly what was about to happen between me and my husband.

We moved to the back of the longhouse, the darkest and most secluded place, though we could still hear the hushed tones of sister, mother, and friend.

I sat on the bench that lined the wall, settling into the blankets and furs. Asvald stripped off his shirt and tossed it aside. My eyes wandered up his chest and finally met his gaze. Asvald removed his pants and sat beside me, crossing his legs and reaching for me to move into his lap. I quickly did so, wrapping my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. It wasn't a need for pleasure that drove us together, it was the need for comfort, the need to be one. Asvald reached down between us and lined himself up so I could lower down onto him. Letting out my breath, I pressed my cheek to his shoulder, my fingertips digging into the muscles on his back. His hands caressed my hair as he gently rocked us, his warm breath fanning over my skin. He murmured sweet words to me, and my tears wetted his shoulder.

"Why are you crying, _kone_?" Asvald murmured into the skin of my neck, his breath a warm caress.

"I don't know," I whispered, and moaned when he gently thrust up into me. "I do not know."

Asvald pulled away and took my face in his calloused hands. "Well, I know." His eyes lit up as he smiled softly. "I know."

I smiled through my tears and laughed softly. "Of course you know."

"I know you," he whispered back, ducking his head to kiss my breasts. I smiled and leaned back, giving him room. When he raised his mouth back to mine, I pressed my chest to his, feeling our hearts beat together as one.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Asvald kept his promise of taking me back to see my family, and we agreed to make trips to Ireland once a year, in the fall before the long winter.

About five months had gone by since my last visit, and we decided to bring Toki along so my mother and sister could meet him.

We took a small ship, and took a river route up to my village, so no one would see and think that a raid was going on.

My heart was pounding as we walked through the village I grew up in. I couldn't believe I was here again, because Asvald had finally understood what I needed. As we walked, I reached out and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. Toki was balanced on my hip, with a fistful of my hair in his mouth, drooling all over my shoulder.

Memories came flashing back to me. Memories of my father, which I quickly pushed away. Memories of my sister and I and our few best friends whispering about private things such as getting our first womanly bleed.

I remembered the day I was captured, which was about three years ago. It amazed me how young I was when I was forced into such a horrible situation, and I was proud of myself for the fight I put up. I chuckled as I remembered kicking Asvald in the nose and rubbing red berry juice into my thighs to trick him. And how I tested his temper until he finally gave me a whipping with a tree branch.

Then I remembered our first night together in our longhouse, truly alone for the first time. I had been so frightened, yet excited. I hadn't wanted to give up my virginity, and our union was kind of mutual by force. Still, it moved me one step closer to where I had needed to be. I remembered the day Asvald had to carry the hot iron and how for the following week, I labored to heal his wounds, while falling in love with him at the same time.

I gazed down at Toki, who have me a toothless grin as he chewed on my hair. Tenderness for him filled my heart and I kissed his head and said a prayer of thanks to my God.

Asvald's voice pulled me out of my deep thoughts. "Are you ready to see your family again?"

I nodded and smiled excitedly. "Aye. I've missed them." I knew he wanted to ask me about my father, but thankfully, he did not.

We came to my family's farm and my mother must have seen us coming down the lane, for she came running to meet us, squealing with joy. I passed Toki to Asvald and embraced my mother, tears streaming down my face.

When she pulled away, I asked where my sister was.

"Ah, Kalin has been married now for two weeks," my mother said with a smile.

My mouth fell open and a squeak came out. "Kalin? Married? The woman hates men!"

Mama shook her head. "Not this man. He stole her heart right quick, he did."

"Hmm. Is she enjoying married life?" I asked, taking my mother's hand as we walked into the warm little cottage.

"Aye, I believe she is." Mama bustled around, pouring Asvald and I cups of dark Irish tea. I took a sip and sighed at the familiar taste of home. Glancing around, I noticed the absence of my father. "Where is father?"

Mama pressed her lips together, as if to stop a smile. "He passed away over the winter."

Despite my hate for the man, I felt a subtle sting of pain in my chest. Asvald noticed the look on my face and squeezed my hand, his blue eyes filled with concern.

"What a pity," I said quietly, not really sure if I meant it or not. My mama and I looked at each other, and in that brief moment, I mourned my father. But then the moment passed and we both silently agreed to never speak of him again.

My mother and I rambled on about Kalin and her new husband, while Asvald sat quietly and listened, keeping Toki content by bouncing him gently on his knee.

"How is my little nephew?" I asked, feeling a bit of pain as I remembered that he had forgotten me.

Mother smiled proudly. "The lad is doing just fine. Would you like to visit him while you are here?"

I shook my head and blinked away a few tears. "No."

Asvald reached out and laid a comforting hand on my thigh and I covered it with my own.

My mother saw our touches and winked at me. "I see you lovebirds are still getting along fine."

I blushed. "We are. Mama, I want you to meet Toki," I said, suddenly remembering the baby. My mother looked at Asvald, who held out the baby to her. She took him into her arms, cooing at him as he smiled toothlessly up at her.

"Oh, the wee one is precious," she said and smiled up at me. "What lovely children you two make. You must make me some more grandchildren."

Again I blushed, while Asvald just laughed. He spoke in Norse so my mother wouldn't understand. "I am doing my best at that, ma'am. I like to fill her with my seed every chance I get."

I gasped and stepped on his foot, my cheeks redder than ever. "Asvald!"

"What did he say, Eachna?" Mother asked.

I laughed nervously. "Mmm, he's a Norseman, you really don't want to know."

Asvald laughed again and tilted my chin with his finger and kissed me soundly on the mouth. I laughed into the kiss and Asvald pulled away with a grin. I looked at my mother and rolled my eyes. "He is showing off."

"Aye, got to show off for his lady," my mother winked at me again before lifting Toki up to plant kisses all along his neck, making him giggle. "How long will you be staying, Eachna?"

I looked at Asvald, pleading with him with my eyes.

"As long as you'd like," he told me in Norse.

I told my mother what he said then looked back at him. "Why aren't you speaking Irish?"

He shrugged. "I think that your mother thinks of me as some foreign brute. By speaking Norse, I maintain that reputation."

I shook my head at him. "Sometimes, I truly do not understand you," I said in Norse. He grinned at me.

"Why are you two being so secretive?" Mother asked, placing Toki in my lap when he began to fuss.

I waved my hand in the air to dismiss the question. "Asvald's being an idiot."

Mother chuckled. "So tell me, have you learned any new skills since you were taken away from me?" She gave Asvald a pointed look.

"I have learned to cook many more things than I did before. I have learned to weave cloth, and how to grow many things," I said, proud of myself.

Mother looked impressed as she nodded. "Excellent, my girl. I am proud of you."

My heart warmed with her praise.

{}

That afternoon I went to visit my sister Kalin, while Toki and Asvald stayed with my mother, who forced Asvald to speak Irish as she gave him looks and asked him questions that made him wiggle in his seat.

I followed the way my mother told me to go, and soon came upon a small farm with a modest cottage, and knocked on the door. I heard giggles and moments later my sister came to the door, her wild, curly brown hair flying out in every direction, her bodice half undone.

"Eachna!" She screamed and threw her arms around me. I laughed and held her tight.

"Hello, sister. I've missed you," I said, rubbing her back, then pulled away to get a good look at her.

"What have you been up to?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She blushed and gave me her guilty smile. "A good girl never tells."

"Thank God you're not a good girl, then." I laughed to show her I was only teasing.

"Your Irish sounds strange," Kalin said with a frown. "Not at all like it used to be."

I smiled. "That is because I haven't spoken it in almost a year now. I speak Norse."

"Say something to me in Norse."

"You want your husband to fuck you like a dog on a bitch in heat," I said in Norse, then burst into laughter.

"What did you just say, little wicked one?" She asked playfully, her fists on her hips.

I told her what I said and she slapped me on the arm. "I think your Norseman husband has corrupted you."

I giggled. "That is probably true." I had changed since becoming Asvald's wife. Honestly, I liked the wife version of me better than the lonely farmer's daughter version.

A deep, yet playful voice came from within the cottage. "Kalin! Get your arse back into my bed!"

My eyes widened, my eyebrows shot up. "Sounds like you've got a Norseman of your own in there."

She bumped me with her shoulder then called into the house. "Me sister is here and I haven't seen her for months. If it's so urgent, take care of it with your own fist."

I laughed at her words. "He lets you talk to him that way?"

She winked at me. "Aye, he knows who's in control."

I shook my head in wonder at my spirited sister. "Asvald would slap me hard on the arse if I spoke to him that way."

"Well, your husband isn't a good tame Irish farmer, now is he?" She said just as her husband appeared in the doorway. He was tall, with curly brown hair and light brown eyes, his jawline manly and covered with stubble. His chest was naked, and was muscular, with a trail of hair between his abs that led into his low hanging trousers.

My sister nudged me in the ribs. "Stop looking at him that way. He's mine."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Asvald would kill me if I looked at another man."

I jumped when I heard my husband's voice behind me. "Aye, he would."

I turned to face him. "Asvald! Uh, this is my sister's husband," I said and Asvald held out his hand to Kalin's husband, and introduced himself.

Kalin's husband nodded and smiled. "I am Uilliam." He was handsome. I winked at Kalin.

Kalin and I wandered off as our husbands spoke.

"Does he truly beat you, Eachna?" She asked quietly, taking my hand in hers.

"No, he never hits me anymore. But, I also don't provoke him to hit me," I said, glancing over my shoulder at my husband, noting how he seemed to be made of nothing but muscle.

"Well, that is good. Otherwise I might have to let him feel my knee again," she chuckled and threw her arms around my shoulders. "You've changed, little sister."

"How so?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You have grown up. You are serious, yet you make jests. You seem happy, but at the same time I can see that something holds you down," she said and sat down in the lush Irish grass. I sat beside her than laid back, rubbing my hands over the blades of grass.

"Having a husband like Asvald will do that to you," I said, then rolled over onto my belly, resting my chin on my fists. "Tell me about your wedding night."

Kalin blushed, her hazel eyes sparkling. "Oh it was nothing but fumbling on my part at first, but Uilliam seemed to know what he was doing. I followed his lead for the first time we made love. The second time...I took control."

I laughed. "Oh my dear sister. May God help your poor husband."

"I think he enjoys it," she said and we both glanced toward our husbands, who were laughing as well.

"Do you like Norway, sister?" She asked, her expression turning serious.

I nodded with a smile. "It's a magical place, full of loving people who are just a bit greedy." Laughing, I shook my head so she'd know I was teasing.

"Is Asvald greedy?" Kalin asked with a naughty grin, tickling my arm.

"Mmm, you'll have to ask him." I laughed.

We were silent for a few moments, simply basking in each other's company.

"You look exhausted, Eachna," Kalin finally said.

I rubbed at my eyes. "The voyage here was not an easy one, since we brought the baby along."

My sister jumped to her feet. "Toki is here? Why did you not tell me? I want to see him!"

I got to my feet and we told our husbands where we were off to and headed toward our mother's house.

As we walked through the town center, I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned to see Aedan hurrying toward me, waving his arms to catch my attention. Kalin stood beside, her hands going to her hips, her face full of attitude. "What does that weasel of a man want?"

"Go on to see Toki without me," I said quickly and turned her in the direction of our family's house. "Go."

"Are you sure?" She glanced back at Aedan with contemp.

"Yes!" With a shove from me, she finally walked away and left me to face my old friend alone.

He stood in front of me with a smirk on his face. "Good to see you again, Eachna."

I nodded my head and tried not to feel nervous in front of him. Last time I saw him, I had almost agreed to become his wife, but Asvald's sudden appearance at the time had made the situation a little awkward. Once again I felt that awkwardness, and fiddled with my belt and my hair to distract from it. Though I probably only looked antsy to him. "Hello, Aedan. I trust you've been well?"

He folded his arms over his chest and shifted restlessly on his feet. "Oh eye, indeed. Though I would be a happier man if I had you in my bed each night."

Heat rushed through my body. The angry, embarrassed kind of heat, that is. Who did he think he was to talk to me about such things?

My hands curled into fists at my side and my jaw clenched. Everything in me wanted to strike him. "Well, only Asvald gets that pleasure."

"Unfortunately, that is true. Though I do believe I could make you wish you were in my bed instead of his."

Before I could protest, Aedan leaned in and kissed me full on the mouth, his lips sweet and gentle against mine. I kissed him back for a second and pulled away, my face flushed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bit of movement and looked to see what it was out of reflex. About ten feet away, Asvald stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes dark and stormy. My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed. I was in big trouble.

"Oh damn," I whispered under my breath.

Aedan followed my gaze and went pale. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. He looked like a confused fish.

I tried to calm my pounding heart. I hadn't been afraid of Asvald for a long time. An old fear started to sink into my bones and I didn't like it. I forced a smile and gestured for Asvald to come to my side, then faced Aedan. "Would you care to tell my husband what you've just done?"

Asvald came to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist, his hold tight, and his fingers digging painfully into me. I tried not to wince. He was not only angry at Aedan, he was also angry with me. Furious, even.

"Asvald, Aedan kissed me in greeting," I said, trying to force my tone to be light and cheerful.

"Who are you to kiss my wife?" Asvald growled, his hand resting on his sword. His blue eyes were dangerous, like an unexpected storm at sea.

Aedan looked fairly angry himself, though I don't know why. "I am an old friend of Eachna's. Don't worry, lad, 'twas a kiss of remembered friendship and nothing more."

Asvald grunted, his grip even tighter. "I do not care what kind of kiss it was, you should not be touching her. She's mine now."

Aedan glanced at me, then back at Asvald. "By her choice or yours?"

I winced, ready for Asvald's anger to explode. I needed to step in. "My choice," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I do love him, Aedan."

"But he stole you from everything you love. From me," Aedan growled, his voice hard and furious.

"She is mine," Asvald said again, his voice as tight as his grip on my waist. Before anymore words could be spoken, Asvald dragged me away, leading me toward some trees in the distance.

"You kissed him," Asvald hissed and my heart beat quickened even more.

"He kissed me," I corrected, struggling against his hold. "Let me go."

"You flirted with him," he growled.

"No! I did not!" I cried, angry at his false claims.

He was grimly silent as he pulled me into the shelter of the trees. I opened my mouth to say something, but before any words came out, Asvald turned me toward the tree, placed my hands against its trunk, and lifted up my skirts, revealing my arse to him. I gasped and looked over my shoulder at him. I was too shocked to speak. For a moment I was afraid he was going to beat my naked arse.  
But then he untied his breeches and moved up against me, lifting my hips. He entered me with a powerful thrust. He leaned down close so his mouth was by my ear. "You are mine."

My mouth fell open and a small whimper passed my lips. This was pure domination.

He moved his hips faster, my hands scraping against the tree bark as I braced myself. One of his hands stayed on my hip, holding me in place, while the other reached around to slip under the bodice of my dress to play with my breast. My whole body was hot, a rush of pleasure shooting straight through my body.

"Ah, God," I groaned, digging my nails into the tree bark.

"You are mine," he growled, nibbling at my earlobe. I shivered.

"I am yours," I whispered back, giving another moan at one deep thrust.

"Mine," he murmured possessively and I thought I'd reach my peak right then and there. He had been sweet, bringing me here to see my family when I got too homesick, but some things never changed. He was still a passionate, possessive Norseman who liked to remind me of who was in control. And I did not mind. Not at all.

 _There was nothing better than being fucked by your husband surrounded by your homeland,_ I thought as he continued to pound into me.

My head fell back, my breaths gasping. "Asvald...oh God." My brain went numb with pleasure and I bit down hard on my lower lip to hold in a cry as I found my release, my whole body trembling. Somewhere in the clouds of bliss, I felt Asvald stiffen behind me, letting out a roar as he found his own release with one last deep plunge.

I gasped as I felt him slide out of me, his warm seed trickling down my inner thighs. My legs shook and I clung to the tree for support. Asvald let my dress back down and retied his breeches, his blue eyes bright against his flushed cheeks.

My head still spun, and I saw that Asvald's legs were trembling too. I turned around and leaned my back against the tree, meeting Asvald's eyes to see if he was still angry with me. He looked at me as if to say, _Are we clear?_

I moved forward shakily and wrapped my arms around his neck, nuzzling his cheek. "I am yours, Asvald. And you are mine."

He cupped my face in his hands and pulled me back so he could look into my eyes. He smiled, lighting up my world.

Taking my hand, he led me toward my mother's house. Hardly any words were spoken during our lovemaking, but it seemed we had said so much.

{}

We entered my mother's house to see her and Kalin giggling over Toki, who was grinning up at them with his toothless smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. As soon as we entered, Toki saw me and began to cry, holding out his little fat hands to me. I smiled and took him into my arms, pressing my lips to the tender skin of his neck.

"Aye, he is a beautiful lad, Eachna," my sister said with a proud smile. "Glad he's not mine, though."

After kissing Toki repeatedly, I glanced up. "The way you and Uilliam are going is sure to land you with a bun in the oven soon enough."

Her face flushed but she rolled her eyes.

Asvald had slipped unseen to the back corner of the house, his eyes fixed on me. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his gaze on me. My face heated.

"I like Ireland, Eachna. It's a passionate land, made for good loving," Asvald said in Irish so everyone would understand. "Perhaps there will be another little one along soon."

I blushed as my mother and sister burst into laughter, using Toki to hide my face. Asvald's words embarrassed me, but I did want to have another child.

"Is that what took you both so long?" Kalin asked, her bubbling laugh easing my embarrassment. Her hazel eyes were filled with good humor.

"Aye, I took her long and hard from behind, against a tree," Asvald said in Norse, so they wouldn't understand. Thank God.

"Asvald, you are a pig," I giggled in Norse. Part of me wished to playfully slap his face, and another part of me wanted him to led me to the bed and take me all over again.

He made snorting noises like a pig and I laughed even harder. Toki started to fuss at my ruckus, so I settled down and nuzzled him lovingly.

My mother and Kalin were wise enough not to ask what just happened.

{}

Later that day, Asvald and I walked along the beach, Toki cradled in Asvald's arms. The sun was on its way down toward its bed beneath the sea, and the blue sky was streaked with light pink. It was nearly my favorite time of day, when the sun disappeared and the stars began to pop out against the deep blue, almost black sky, yet the light of the sun still lingered. Magic happened at times like those.

"If you could turn back time, and find some way to keep yourself from being taken in that raid, would you do it?" Asvald asked over the sound of the gently rolling waves. His hair blew over his face and he laughed when a strand of hair stuck to his mouth. His hands full with the baby, he tried to spit the hair out of his mouth.

Laughing with him, I reached up and pulled the strand of hair away from his face and tucked it behind his ear. "No, Asvald. I would not change it. I love my life with you."

He grinned and ducked his head to kiss me, our mouths molding together perfectly, drinking in each other's taste and scent, and breathing each other's air. The softness of his mouth still surprised me.

Instead of just pulling away and continuing our walk, we stood close, our noses still brushing, the gentle waves teasing our ankles, soaking our bare feet. The air was flavored with the salt of the sea, and I could almost feel every grain of sand under my feet.

"The gods have blessed me," Asvald finally spoke, his hand cupping our son's head. Toki was sleepy and slightly grumpy, so Asvald passed him back to me. I settled him on my left shoulder and he soon settled down again.

I didn't answer him right away. Asvald was indeed blessed, with a village full of people that loved and respected him, an affection wife, and a son. While I shared his blessing, but the thorns of suffering pricked me in ways that had never touched him.

Toki sighed and pressed his wet mouth to the skin of my neck, making soft grunts and cooing noises.

"I am blessed as well."

{}

We returned to my mother's house after the sun had slipped away. My mother had waited up for us, and there were bowls of Irish stew waiting for us. Kalin sat at the table, her chin resting on her folded hands. Asvald sat beside her and murmured something I couldn't hear.

After feeding Toki goat's milk and lying him down to sleep, I joined my sister and Asvald at the table. Asvald reached out to take my hand, intertwining our fingers between us on top of the table.

Kalin smiled down at our hands. "You nasty lovers."

My mother giggled and kissed the tops of all our heads, even Asvald's. "I am going to sleep. Try not to be too loud, for me and Toki's sake."

We mumured our compliance and she slipped into her bedroom. Kalin went to one of cabinets and brought out cups, filling them with ale and setting them in front of us.

I took a long swig and glanced at Asvald, who winked at me. Once Kalin was settled at the table again, she asked Asvald, "Are you going to put another baby inside my sister?"

Giggling softly, I took another sip of ale and raised my eyebrows at Asvald, who was smirking and rubbing his beard in mock thoughtfulness.

"Well you make it sound so tempting, Kalin, that I might just have to." His tone was serious and his smirk disappeared. "Shall I do it right now?"

Kalin made a face but she still laughed and kicked his foot under the table, which sloshed his ale over the table.

"What about you, Kalin?" I leaned forward, feeling the tingle of alcohol in my blood. "When is your husband going to put a babe in your belly?"

She growled playfully at me, lifting her lips to show her teeth. A laugh followed the growl, and she chugged from her mug. After a gasp for breathe, she spoke quickly. "Never, if I have any control of it."

Surprise filled Asvald's face, and I'm sure mine mirrored his.

Asvald frowned and tapped his fingers on the table. "Does your husband know you are preventing pregnancy?" His body had gone tense, and it was clear this topic troubled him.

Kalin shook her head, making her curls bounce. "He does not and he never shall."

"Why?" I whispered, leaning forward as sadness laid its weight on my chest. "Why would you prevent a babe, and why are you hiding it from Uilliam?"

Her fingers drew circles on the table, her eyes lowered to hide emotion. "Women die just to bring stinky, screaming babes into the world, and if they live, they spend the rest of their lives letting those babes suck the life from their very bones." She paused and sipped her ale. "I do not want that life for myself, and I am not telling my husband because he would be angry, and hurt, and he would force me to stop preventing a child."

Silence hung in the air, like the calm before a thunderstorm. Asvald pursed his lips and glanced at me, and I shrugged my shoulders. My sister was just as stubborn as me, and once her mind was made up, it was almost impossible to change it.

Things had shifted between my sister and I. Kalin once was my closest friend, and I hers, but all of a sudden, we had husbands, and I had a child, and we were not the center of each other's lives any longer. A pang hit my heart, but I knew it was the way of life.

Asvald noticed my silent sadness and stroked his thumb across the back of my hand.

Kalin must have felt the distance between us, because something shifted in her golden eyes and she smiled sadly. "Often I feel as if I do not know who you are, Eachna, as I am sure you feel toward me as well, but I will always love you. You are my sister."

Emotion choked me as I felt the impact of her words, of the freeing, bitter-sweetness of them. "I will always love you too, Kalin."

{}

We stayed with my family for several more days, and I even spoke to Aedan again, with Asvald by my side, of course.

But the day came when it was time to leave. There were no sad and tearful goodbyes, for they knew I would return to them soon. Asvald would keep his word.

…..

We traveled across the calm waters back to Norway, and I was eager to be home. Aye, Norway was my home. I still loved Ireland, and it would forever be a part of me. But Ireland was my past, while Norway was my future.

My gaze wandered to Asvald, who was standing at the helm of the ship, Toki tucked in the crook of his strong arm. I could just hear him murmuring to the child.

"One day you will learn how to sail the seas," Asvald whispered gently, gazing down into Toki's alert little face. "You will be a strong ruler one day, filled with pride and bravery. You will rule with my steadfastness, but also with your mother's kindness and forgiving spirit. You will be great."

I smiled and rose to go to his side. Asvald looked down at me and used his free arm to bring me close to his side, under his protection and warmth, against his heart as his equal. And in that moment, I no longer felt like a captive. I was the chieftain's wife, and a mother of a handsome, strong son. I was loved and cherished, by a man who had come to understand my needs and my desires, a man who was so filled with pride that in the beginning, he only saw himself.

But he had opened his eyes and humbled himself, finally seeing me. And I loved him.

Lifting my face to his, I soon felt warm, salty lips on mine. _I am home._


	19. Epilogue

Epilogue

 **Two Years Later**

My scream of pain cut through the night air. Another scream joined mine, the cry of my baby, which I had been laboring for hours to deliver.

I glanced down at the hands of the midwife, seeing my perfect little red baby squirming in her hands, covered in while and bloody goo. It was a girl, and she was beautiful.

Tears blinded me, strong emotions of protectiveness and overwhelming love stealing my breath away. "My daughter...is she healthy?" My voice trembled.

"She is beautiful and healthy, my lady," the midwife said as she cut the cord and rubbed the baby with a blanket, bringing forth a loud and high pitched cry from the baby.

The midwife chuckled. "I always feel horrible for these poor wee ones when they are born. Torn away from the warmth and safety of their mother's womb to be thrust into a cold and dangerous world. Poor dears." She finished cleaning the babe and brought her to me, lying her on my breast.

The child's face was wrinkled, her eyes tightly closed. Having her little cheek pressed to my skin seemed to calm her, and her cries ceased, her blue eyes blinking up at me.

"Hello, beautiful girl," I whispered, stroking the baby's cheek with my fingertip. She made a gurgling sound and curled her tiny fingers around mine. I kissed her soft little head, and murmured, "I've wanted you since I knew what babies were. I've been waiting for you."

I had wanted a daughter ever since the day my mother told me how babies were conceived. When I gave birth to Toki, I was slightly disappointed that he was a boy, but that feeling was gone before I even really got a chance to consider it. And now I was holding my daughter, who I'd longed for since I was a young girl. She was a beautiful gift.

{}

Once everything was cleaned up and I had rested for a while, Asvald came into the longhouse, three year old Toki holding tightly to his hand.

"Quiet now, Toki," Asvald was murmuring to our son as they entered. Toki's eyes were wide, fixed on the little bundle in my arms. I raised my eyes to Asvald, who smiled warmly at me.

"Come here, Toki," I said and he came to my side, staring into the red face of his sister.

"'Tis a baby, Mama," he whispered in awe.

I smiled. "Aye, it is." I looked up at Asvald again. "It's your sister."

Asvald grinned and came to me, leaning over to press his lips to mine. When he pulled away, he whispered, "Thank you for this sweet little girl. I couldn't be any happier, my love."

More tears filled my eyes, tears of absolute joy. Asvald gently lifted our daughter into his arms, gazing tenderly down into her face. "What will you name her, Eachna?"

I didn't answer right away. A part of me wanted to give her an Irish name, while I wanted to honor her father's heritage as well. "I want to name her Britta," I said finally, choosing a Norse name.

Asvald looked at me and smiled, placing Britta in my arms once again. They had felt empty without her there. "A perfect name for her," Asvald said and kissed my forehead, then Britta's.

Toki climbed up on the bed beside me and reached out to poke Britta's face. I caught his hand to stop him. "No, Toki. You may not touch her face," I said firmly, then lifted one of Britta's hands, bringing it to Toki's. I helped him stick out his first finger, and Britta wrapped it in her strong grip.

Toki's eyes widened and he looked up at me. "Red baby strong, Mama."

I laughed softly and ruffled his blond hair. "I know, she is strong."

Britta opened her eyes and stared at Toki. Toki stared back. I held my breath. This was the first time Britta was seeing her brother.

Toki looked away from his little sister and up at me. "The red baby beautiful." Before I could stop him, he leaned down and placed a wet kiss on Britta's red little forehead.

I glanced at Asvald, who looked like he was trying exceedingly hard not to cry.

In the moment, everything became perfect. I felt like I would never feel the pain of my past ever again and I would never regret being brought here to be Asvald's wife.

Family. It is a word that defies distance; it even defies time. It has the power to heal and the power to destroy, to bring happiness and sorrow. It is what everyone wants to be surrounded by while lying on their deathbeds. My children each have asked what gave me the will to survive and the courage to love, and I took their hands and looked into their eyes. "'Twas you, my loves."


End file.
